I feel like I can't breathe

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
40 posts

Take a step back from planning & maybe reading this site.  Give yourself a month to decompress.  I needed to when I found it impossible to find a dress.

We got all worked up too – we aren’t into attention and spending what seems like unnecessary money – and then a friend said he felt the same way and the only way he could relax and enjoy the day was admitting that it was for the family – all the stress and the money spent.  It may be the only day your two familys and sets of friends will get a chance to meet and all share the same space and time together. 

The marriage is for you two.  Forget all this ‘it’s your day’ stuff and just let it happen – be a greatful observer to all those who have come to celebrate your marriage.  Not everything will go as planned, but if you’re relaxed enough to just be greatful for the day, you’ll have a wonderful time.

Post # 4
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lifesaver08:  Aw, I’m sorry you are struggling.  For what it’s worth, I think the kind of anxiety you are experiencing is more common than you think…people just don’t talk about it so you don’t realize how ‘normal’ it really is. I have a lot of anxiety about my wedding day – hate being the center of attention – but I know that I want to be married to my guy, so I am trying to focus on that rather than all the parts that cause me stress. I agree with kernstreet in that you should take a break from all things wedding and just decompress.  It wouldn’t hurt to speak with a counsellor if your anxiety continues…

Post # 5
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s one thing to be engaged and another to *actually* start wedding planning.  It is totally normal to feel anxious about that.  I love my fiance so much and I’m 100% sure he’s the love of my life…but the thought of having a wedding and actually getting married makes my stomach flip.  I’m nervous as hell.  And it’s NORMAL.  So go ahead and give yourself the freedom to believe that this is normal, because it is.

So what if you’re plus sized?  You’re marrying a man who’s so excited to marry you that he’s dancing around and texting people to tell them you’ve got a venue.  He is going to be twirling you around on the dance floor and beaming with joy.  He’s not going to think for a second that you look plus sized.  Your guests won’t either.  There are dresses for plus sized women; you will find one and look gorgeous.

I agree that 300 guests is a lot and your wedding may feel overwhelming at times, but there’s some benefit to having such a big wedding…you’ll only have to spend a tiny bit of time with each guest and then you can move on.  Plus, many of them will be so busy talking to each other that they won’t be looking at you, judging you, or anything like that.  They’ll be busy entertaining themselves!

With all of that said…it sounds like you should talk to a therapist.  I have one and she’s wonderful and she reassures me that it’s okay to be nervous about taking a big life step.  She’s done wonders at helping me sort through the feelings in my head and to understand that “anxiety about getting married and having a wedding” is not the same as “I don’t want to get married.”  She’s helped me to identify exactly why I want to marry my FI and to get me to listen to my own judgment.  I highly recommend it.

Best wishes…I’m sure your wedding will be wonderful.

Post # 6
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

very normal… It happened to me too…. I dropped 20lbs in 2 weeks from the stress and a cried daily bc I was terrified to get married, but even more terrified of losing FI and I didn’t know what to do.


I found forums online, and work by Sheryl Paul… and I saw a therapist for a couple months and was on some medication very briefly… just to calm me down enough to get me where I could eat and sleep etc. (I also have NEVER had anxiety issues ever, and just went off the deep end).

It helped insanely!  I have little flutters of anxiety here and there, but that’s normal… no where near what I had before.


Look up Sheryl Paul… or talk to you dr… sometimes it just needs to run it’s course.  Anxiety is normal, and if you do waht you need to to take care of yourself, you’ll come through it just fine.  In fact, I can even see the positive in what I experienced now… I know that on my wedding day, I’ve truly measured the potential consequences and I know my real feelings inside and out and know that I love my FI and am doing the absolute right thing 🙂

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