(Closed) I feel like I have a drive-by realtionship. Help?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Volunteer.

When I was unemployed I had two days a week I volunteered. I loved what I did, its a responsibility that got me up and dressed and out the door, but something I could cancel if I needed to.

What interests you?

EDIT: what I meant to add is it gives you perspective, it gives you something to do and gives you a social outlet. Its not that you lack time with your man, its that you are lacking things to do in your off time and are craving for you guy to fill up more of your time.

Post # 4
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Dh and I have very busy schedules. one thing we do to try to conect is go to bed before we are super tired (like, 9pm) and talk. Also, we watch series of shows together and will only watch together. He likes certain shows I don’t and vice versa. Right now we are on season 5 of the big bang Theory. It’s just another little way we find time to connect.

Maybe try to write little notes for him so he knows you are thinking of him, or write on the shower wall with bath crayons. leave snacks he loves in the fridge. It;s the little things that will get you by 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1372 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

What did you do in your downtime before you met your S/O?

I think the previous suggestion of volunteering is great.

Post # 6
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hanging out with friends help when I feel lonely.  Look for people off on some of those days too?

Post # 7
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Do you have a weekly scheduled date? Maybe you should talk to your SO and ask him how he feels about the situation. 

Post # 8
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was going to edit my post, but I decided to write a new one.

I also think, if you dont already, to make sure some of the time you are together is “quality time” Dinner is together with no TV. Have a date every Sat that involves talking, not watching TV or a movie. Maybe its checking out a new wine bar or going hiking, but its a time to catch up.

Post # 9
Member
45395 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I worked 12 hour shifts for years so had the same 3-4 day stretches off. I must say I never ran out of things to do.  Between cooking, cleaning, gardening, helping at the school, skiing, running, hiking, swimming, volunteer work at the local hospice, and being a Girl Guide leader, I was never without something to do nor was I lonely.

Time to get yourself out the door and get involved.

If you have Wed, Thurs Fri and Sat evenings off together, I wouldn’t begrudge him his Sat night gaming. Plan things for the two of you to do on Fridays (I’m presuming he works Thursday and Friday so evenings out on Wed and Thurs wouldn’t be very realistic).

You don’t have to go out all the time- a video and popcorn evening, a picnic on the carpet etc can all be fun. Break out the cookbook and make something together-fondue and wine anyone?

Post # 10
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I work straight nights 6 nights a week and FH works straight days 5 days a week with an hour and a half drive each way. I also have three kids (2 teens and a preteen) so I completely understand not having time together. The little time we have together is quite often spent working on the house, shopping, etc.

I honestly don’t have any advice really but I must say I’m a jealous! lol Maybe try volunteering or get involved with a group. FH and I met at the local community theatre…try something like that.

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