- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Charters and TTCers, I need a little friendly advice. I thought about going anon for this, but scew it. It’d be so easy to deduce it’s me. This also might come off really unclear and convoluded so I’ll do my best. It’s going to be long, but I have charting questions at the end.
So I started charting to more or less TTA/NTNT (DH decided to use withdrawl, which I consider NTNT, but other people would call TTA) four months ago right? No big deal. Obviously I’m baby crazy, never hiding that from DH or anything. Original plan to was to TTC this fall.
Almost two weeks ago on our anniversary we had a drunken conversation wherein we more or less negotiated TTC for November. I also tried to say “Well, you know, we could try this month and then wait until november.” (We thought he’d be here this month then away for at least three months on business. That has since changed) Que the “I don’t want to miss a moment” comment that I remarked on last week in the Charters thread. So I had decided that was super sweet and I was going to let it go and not bring it up again.
I’ve said a lot of times that fatherhood isn’t something I’m willing to nudge indecisive DH into. I really believe that.
He came home from the trip. Business was great. Trip to see his father was extraordinarily bad. We discussed my chart. We BD’ed. He didn’t pull out. I asked what the deal was, he gave me some sweet non answer that I don’t remember the exact detail of. Then proceeds to BD ALOT in the last few days.
Yesterday I got a +OPK (finally!), we BD again. He says something about making babies, which is the first time he explicitly said that. I said “Wow. Kinda scary, huh?” Which triggered a whole conversation about how he thinks it would be better to wait the 6 months, but he has been trying to make me happy, etc.” WHAT?! I told him the “Don’t want to miss a thing” comment had me committed to STFU until the fall. He then proceeds to tell me that he’s still really insecure about this business deal, etc.
Bees, I feel terrible. I feel like I did the thing that I didn’t want to do (forcing DH’s hand when he didn’t think the time was good) when here I thought that he had changed his mind. We really pride ourselves on great communication, and this is one of those rare times apparently both sides didn’t translate through perfectly. The problem is that this is probably the most important topic on earth.
So, uh, I’m going to O today. We’ve got BDing all over my chart, and our odds are looking pretty stellar. We’ve already decided that we’ll see what happens this month and then I want to wait until DH decides and brings it up (which is what I thought happened this month but apaprently not). We both know that right now isn’t perfect, but we also know that no time will be.
Any thoughts or advice? Probably not, but has anyone gone through anything similar? Any freakouts after “pulling the trigger?” Any ideas on how to cope with the worry that if we are KU, that I’m going to feel guilty for forcing DH into fatherhood even though that’s been my EXPRESS intention not to? Or my worry that DH will resent me or the baby? (He insists he wouldnt and was, after all, a willing participant and I thought in the lead on the whole thing) And any experiences of timing BD so well and still not getting a BFP?
Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading it. (And hopefully not tearing me to shreds)