Post # 1
My Fiance loves to play Call of Duty on his Xbox…I mean, he really LOVES to play Xbox and it’s driving me insane!
The other day, the first thing he did after he woke up was turn on the console to see if his friend was logged on (they like to play together and ever since his friend started working grave yard shifts, it’s like the only time they get to “see” each other). There was no “good morning” or “let’s have breakfast”..it was straight COD from sunrise to sunset! He does this ALL THE TIME!
I’ve tried talking to him about it because (obviously) it only bugs me when I’m home and not busy with homework or whatever. I tried to tell him that I wanted to spend more “us” time together when we are both home and do things that didn’t involve the computer or Xbox. He listened and made a genuine effort for the first couple days but then has now reverted back to playing it all day (I should add that he gets REALLY, REALLY into the game and screams/yells/swears into his headset at the other players).
I don’t know what to do! We hardly see each other in between school, work and general life stuff. I feel like we are slipping into those “couples” that basically only live together like roommates.
Anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
Well, I am sorry your Fiance hasn’t seen how this hurts you? Hopefully you can find a way to talk to him and let him know that you are serious about how his behavior hurts your relationship with him. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to try to find some activity you enjoy together. At first Ikind of chuckled because my Fiance and I would both wake up and play COD all day on a saturday or sunday. But your Fiance is really hurting you. If this kept happening to me he would wake up and the xbox would be hidden at a friends house. LOL. See if that works.
Post # 4
Oh no the dreaded xbox! I totally get it, sometimes it seems like Call of Duty is the most important thing in the world to my Fiance. I had to have the same talk with him about playing instead of spending quality time with me. All it took was me letting him know that when we are both home we should try to do something together since we don’t have many times when we are both there. So know he tries to play when I’m at work or asleep, or sometimes when I’m home, but definitely not for hours at a time like he used to. I think it’s all about putting it into perspective for them so they realize how many hours they actually spend yelling into their headsets. I think when they play they zone out and don’t realize how much time they are wasting in the real world.
p.s. There’s a new COD coming out soon called Black Ops and I fear I won’t see my Fiance for that first month! lol. So beware of that soon!
Post # 5
Wait are you talking about MY FH? He’s been flagged SO many times by xbox live for cussing and generally being a nasty person (he gets too proud of himself when he kills other people online).
Seriously, the COD series is like man-crack (comparable to shopping or wedding planning for women perhaps?).
If you’ve brought up that you’d like him to put the controller down on the rare occasions that you both have corresponding free time and it hasn’t been doing any good, I’d suggest making your own plans.
Often times my spouse would be completely engrossed in playing vids, even trying to talk to him to do something in the middle of a game qould be pointless. So I would leave. Go for a walk or coffee with friends.
More often than not he was annoyed that I had done something without him/not used our free time to hang out with him. Which I would have, had he not been playing video games.
If that doesn’t help, be candid with him — You don’t want to be married to someone who is going to constantly ignore you in favor of electronics.
Post # 6
My first husband was an xbox AND computer addict. He’s spend hours playing. He’d stay up all night online or playing his xbox. We’d make plans to go somewhere and it would be delayed because he had to finish the game he was on or some other nonsense. It’s a big part of why we’re no longer together!
I bought an xbox for my current husband when we were dating. I told him how I felt about it and he has completely respected my feelings. I don’t mind him playing; in fact, I encourage him to because he enjoys it! However, he knows that when I’m talking to him he needs to listen and not ignore me. He knows that when we have plans we stick to them and he knows that if I want to sit with him and watch tv the xbox has to go.
You need to talk to your guy and lay some ground rules. If you already recognize his xbox use asa an addiction, you need to do something about it now, before you’re married. I’d hate to see an xbox ruin another marriage.
Post # 7
Oh YES!!! I know exactly what you mean. Fiance will stop in between game though, and then bother me and come by to cuddle up on me for a while until the next game starts and that bugs me even more, cause I don’t care to just be fit in between his game time, and I’ve usually found a way to keep myself busy and then he gets in the way. If he’s gonna play, I rather he just do it and then spend time with me when he’s done and wants to spend some REAL time with me.
Post # 8
My SO loved to play XBox, especially COD. WHen it first came out, I didn’t see him for days!
He has a man room now where I told him the Xbox had to go, and ever since i secluded him like that he actually plays less than before. It’s like he’s finally growing up and wants to spend time with me in our common household areas when we’re both up! Now, when I go to bed, he does stay up and play, but I’ve asked him to take a few minutes and tuck me in before he goes to play, and he actually does that too. So i feel important, and he gets to play his game without me getting on him about it all the time.
Post # 9
start a date night once a week
Post # 10
I actually encourage Darling Husband to play our Xbox and encouraged him to buy it in the first place because it’s a nice healthy way for him to unwind when I’m not home or when I got to bed early. He doesn’t play Xbox live though and he isn’t ‘dedicated’ to any game enough to go live. I’m lucky that it’s never gotten in our way, Darling Husband is very respectful about only playing it during real genuine down time, probably about 1-2 hours/week.
Post # 11
Oh man I am lucky. Darling Husband loves his XBox, and his best friend is in Texas so it’s their bonding thing to do. However, he usually plays 3 nights a week at the most, and he always clears them with me in advance.
Post # 12
When my Fiance got his new PS3 a couple of years ago he started acting like that. So teach him a lesson I started making plans with people when I had time and after I was all ready and heading out the door he would look at me and say where are you going? when I would reply with going out to dinner with so & so, or going to do this and that. He would look at me and be like well why didn’t you tell and I would simply reply with oh well you never asked what was going on today, and you and your ps3 get along so well I figured you wouldn’t want to come, then say something about how I was running late and then I would leave. Well the second time I did that and he got sick of being left out, he ended up meeting me there, and now he only plays when i’m not home, or when he knows it’s no big deal.
Post # 13
Fiance was an xbox addict when I first met him, however as we spent more time together he stopped playing it as much. Now he rarely plays it (maybe a few times a month). I think its because he’s working more and we’re doing more things together. We actually bought some games we both like and play them together occassionally. Maybe that would work for you guys?
Post # 14
My SO plays WoW and other computer games. It annoyed me in the beginning and after having several disagreements about our time together, he now make sure he gives me a good two hours of time before bed to be close and a couple of days a week where he doesn’t play at all.
Post # 15
My husband plays, I think, Modern Warfare?? I don’t mind it if i am busy, watching tv, painting the house, cleaning up something, taking a shower, or generally doing something I want to do. But, he is always really considerate. If we’re watching tv together, he asks me if i mind if he goes and plays. Once in awhile i ask him to wait 15 minutes so we can hang out but usually i say I don’t mind. He’s reminded me a few times that “all you have to do is let me know”. Why don’t you address this to him while he’s playing? Or before he goes to play or something? I think you really need to talk to him about it again, and address it when it’s happening–he probably doesn’t realize he’s doing it.
The “play all day, no good morning, etc” would really, really bother me. That’s really inconsiderate, so I can see why you are hurt and upset. Remind him–he was good at actively trying for a few days, maybe it just has to become a habit. I don’t think Darling Husband likes to play too much around me because he knows how i feel about grown men playing video games all the time! There is a fun hobby, and there is obsession!!!
Post # 16
@missmouse29: Yes, it IS man-crack. My fiance plays a lot, less now than before – but a LOT. It drives me mad. We went around and around on this issue for months before it started to get better.
I’m trying to think of solid advice for the OP but I come up empty! My situation was a bit different, but I get the feeling of roommates when one person is in a room, totally engrossed in their own thing (the worst part about Live to me is that it’s SO interactive that tehy can’t walk away from it).
I feel for you but I don’t have any real, solid answers. Just be aware that you are far from the only one feeling that way! 🙂