Post # 1
I’ve seen these threads crop up on various other message boards. They have a dual purpose: on the first end of things, people commiserate in the present about not being pregnant. Into the future, new users arrive, see the thread, learn that multiple members have since gotten pregnant and gain reassurance.
Rationally, I’m well aware that mind and body are separate. The fact that I feel like I’ll never get pregnant is entirely disconnected from the reality of the system; it has no impact on whether or not I ever will. But still, all of the same. Maybe this poll can serve as a visual reminder for all of those in the future who ever feel this way.
(fwiw, I’m on the border of an infertility diagnosis, so I am not in the “I’ve tried for one cycle, it didn’t work, I’ll never get pregnant” camp, though certainly even short-term TTCers can and do feel that way, and it’s not absurd).
Post # 3
Bigtime. I always thought i’d have trouble TTC (and did) and constantly worried that we’d never get pregnant. I’m sitting here watching my 3 month old sleep, and while i can now say that i wish i worried less, at the time that is very hard to do when you really have no way of knowing if you’ll ever get there. 🙂
Post # 4
@CookieCreamCakes: I’ve had 2 miscarriages so sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to carry a baby properly or if something is wrong with me. It’s no use getting pregnant if my body doesn’t seem to understand what to do afterwards.
Post # 5
I definitely had a feeling that because my periods had always been irregular and because I had never had a pregnancy scare, that we would have trouble concieving. I’ll definitely say charting helped relay those fears a lot. But when we actually started trying, we got pregnant pretty fast.
Apparently now I just worry about whether I’m going to stay pregnant. lol. I really do try to stay positive though because I actually do think that there is a mind/body connection. Let me be clear, I don’t think you can will you can will yourself into a miscarriage and I HATE HATE HATE when people tell women struggling to concieve that they aren’t getting pregnant because they need to “relax.” (I actually just hate when people tell women to relax anyway – but that’s for another thread). However, I do think that stress and negativity CAN compound other factors that could lead to the an outcome that’s other than optimal. Make sense?
Post # 6
We are going to start TTC and this is my first month off the pill, my period still hasn’t arrived and I’m always regular so now I’m having a small freak out that I’ll never ovulate again or be able to get pregnant. I’m sure the stress of worrying isn’t helping my period arrive either ugh.
Post # 7
@CookieCreamCakes: It definitely concerned me. It was one of the reasons we chose not to wait longe rto start TTC. Not because I had any prior issues, but because my mom had 5 MC before she had me, and she started at 25 years old. I wanted to start at the same age just in case it took me 5 years like it did her. Her story just scared me, so that was one of the reasons we started. We ended up pregnant with my mc almost immediately, so I didn’t really have much to worry about thank God.
Post # 8
I always thought I would have trouble getting pregnant because my mom had 3 miscarriages before having me, and my best friend also had 3 miscarriages before having her son. It just seemed like it was destined to be really difficult to try and have a baby. We got pregnant the first time DH didn’t pull out.
Post # 9
My parents had fertility issues so even though I’ve never TTC I always had the background worry that when the time came, I’d have trouble, too.
I ended up with a surprise pill pregnancy. He’s 10 months old now.
Post # 10
For no real reason whatsoever (age, health, regularity, etc.) I did have that feeling as well, and was fortunately able to get pregnant. I do think it’s very, very normal to feel that way, and it certainly doesn’t help that you have to wait a full cycle each time to try again, giving yourself plenty of time for pessimism.
Post # 11
I am currently feeling like it will never happen. I am on CD140 (no period since my withdrawl bleed in August after stopping BCP) right now and tomorrow I have a doctors appointment to discuss my blood test results. I am really freaked out that something is wrong. My husband is being very relaxed about the whole TTC.
My Mom and sister had no issues TTC but my Mom’s Mom had many miscarriages and a still born before having my Mom at age 40.
The worst part is not knowing!
Post # 12
@CookieCreamCakes: I am a person who prepares for the worst but holds onto the small glimmer of hope that the worst might not happen. It’s been 8 months of trying – with only 6 cycles – one of them was definately anovulatory. There have been times when I feel like I will never get pregnant. A girl I know said to me in the beginning of my TTC journey that “Its funny how women are on the pill and worried about getting pregnant – but once they come off they find out they cant get pregnant – (long awkward pause -prob longer for me)…not saying that will happen to you!” She said this to me in July and I haven’t forgotten it. Then last month I was babysitting my nephew and cuddling with him and the thought “you will never get to experience this with your own child” went through my head. Horrible. Luckily my DH is very positive and believes we will get pregnant eventually.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods
Yep, all the time. My new doctor seems confident I’ll be able to after another laproscpy though, so I’ll take that as a good sign. Best of luck to you all.
Post # 14
FI and I have been actively “not trying to prevent pregnancy” for over two years now. And while I haven’t been laying on my back with my feet in the air, I haven’t been avoiding sex on certain days either.
It does help ease my fears to see other women in similar situations getting pregnant.
Post # 15
I worried sometimes that I would never get pregnant due to my age (I’m 39). I got pregnant on my 4th cycle off the pill but miscarried. Then I worried that I wouldn’t get pregnant because I miscarried 🙂 I got a BFP on the 3rd cycle after the MC and am now just over 15 weeks pregnant and everything is good and well!
Post # 16
I always worried that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, then I got pregnant the first month we tried. There were actually a few weeks after I was pregnant where I would catch myself thinking “Oh, I’ll never get pregnant… Oh wait, I am pregnant.”
Sadly, I miscarried that pregnancy last month and now I am right back to “I’ll never get pregnant!” despite how wrong I was the first time.