- 5 years ago
Okay, this is probably the lamest post I’ve ever made. I’m a regular poster, but I know I’m being silly, so I’m going annoymous in case this is ever found, as I’ve posted a fair amount of information on my regular account, and I don’t want this friend to be offended if she finds this post.
I recently attended a Destination Wedding wedding. My Darling Husband & I are on a single income right now, and it was a major sacrifice for us to attend this wedding. We paid about 2-4X as much to attend the wedding as the rest of the guests, due to where we are currently living. I was happy to do so, because I am very close to the bride. We’ve known each other since about 4th grade, and she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding this year. In fact, I considered making her my Maid/Matron of Honor over my sister, though I ultimately chose not to because my family would have been very upset and it just wasn’t worth it.
When she told me I wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she was very apologetic. I know it’s hard to plan a wedding, and I didn’t want her to be stressed, so I told her I didn’t mind. She chose only to have sisters as BMs, as she had a very small Destination Wedding. That made sense to me, so I only told my Darling Husband that I was slightly disappointed.
However, I was really hurt the w/e of her wedding. There were a few other extremely close friends who felt the same. Her DH’s family treated the couple horribly, there was an enormous amount of family drama, yet we were not included in anything, even though we had made many sacrifices to be there and were trying to support her and make her happy through the whole ordeal. We were one of the very few people invited to the Rehearsal Dinner (a few people that the bride had only met a few times were invited, but we weren’t). The bride hardly spoke 10 words to us the whole weekend. It was very odd & unexpected, since we’ve had a very close group since gradeschool, and we all got ready together for each other’s weddings. I think we all assumed it would be the same for hers, but we were ignored. I would have been happy to have seen her at all before the wedding.
I KNOW it’s hard to balance time between people at weddings. I KNOW this wedding was not about me, and I’m happy the bride had a good time (at least, I hope she did). I KNOW relationships mature. However, I’m having a hard time reconciling all of this with the way I feel. I didn’t expect to be the center of attention, but after all the time & money we spent to attend her wedding, after the fact that she was such an integral part of my wedding months ago, after the fact that I was a major part of planning her bachelorette party weeks ago…I thought she would at least treat me like a friend during the weekend. I’m bummed that everyone was treating her like crap, yet she shut her true friends out (BTW, these people had conned the groom into buying their tickets & rooms & we heard many of them talking crap about the bride at the bar later). We’ve all (there’s a group of us) been such a big part of the important things in each others’ lives for so long (HC, proms, babies, weddings, etc) it just feels like a slap in the face that I was treated like that. I almost wish I would have stayed home.
Please, help me get some perspective!
(PS There are other details, but I really don’t want to give who I am away, so I am leaving them out…I hope I still explained myself clearly enough!! 🙂 I also want to make it clear that I am SO happy for my friend & her Darling Husband, and I wish them the best. I would NEVER say any of this to her, I’m just trying to work it out within myself so I can move on!)