Post # 1
I just feel like my fiance and I don’t get along anymore, it’s like I would rather spend time alone than with him. I don’t even consider him my fiance really, he got me an engagement ring for Christmas but we never talk about the wedding and when I bring it up he’s always like oh we have a lot to do before we even start planning that…(him finish school, we both still live with our parents while he’s finishing up school and we would like to get a house before we get married) But the problem is sometimes I don’t even want to see him. I like my alone time, especially when I’m just getting off work and just want to relax. But he gets mad when we don’t see each other every day…we both work opposite schedules which makes things a little difficult. But it’s to the point where if I say I just want to relax and go to sleep early, he gets mad. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like I’m drifting away from him.
Sorry for the long post, it’s more of a rant than anything but any input/opinions/advice would be nice.
Post # 3
How sad! You’ll get through this. I think if you don’t live together, it’s incredibly hard to see each other every day. Even when we were engaged we didn’t see each other every day until we moved in with one another. I think you need to explain that to him and make a point to see each other 3 times a week or so. I hope you can try this and see if you find yourself missing him more. It’s hard to miss someone if you don’t have the chance!
Post # 4
Ok some big red flags. 1. You’d rather spend time alone than with him, 2. you don’t ‘really’ consider him to be your Fiance, 3. your engagement is fairly new and you’re already questioning it
Are you happy with him? When you are together, are you happy and see him (as he is today, not what he could be) as the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and have children with?
It sounds like you’re not very happy with him and as such may not make as much of an effort to see him as before….that may be why your Fiance is reacting that way. If so, you need to ask yourself why you aren’t trying to see your Fiance more, and if you are in love with him in the way you see lasting forever. If you’re trying your best to see him and he’s still being like that, then you need to wonder if that is an attitude you can live with.
Post # 5
My biggest red flag is not caring about seeing him everyday. When my SO and I lived apart we still spent almost every single night together whether it be at his place or mine. It was just instinct to be together. When you are married he will be around alll the time. Can you handle that? There is a difference between wanting alone time and wanting to be away from someone. Did you know you would have a long engagemnt when he proposed? I feel like there are so many issues that could be at hand here I’m not sure if we can even help without more info.
Post # 6
Did you all talk about marriage before the engagement?
Post # 7
Every relationship is different because every person is different! Some people need more alone time than others (myself being one of those people) but it has to work in your relationship. Your Fiance may be acting this way BECAUSE you don’t see eachother everyday, he wants to make the most of the time you share. There is a possibility that when you see him on a regular basis and are used to just having him around you both will adjust.
By The Way, I am in the same position as you. I moved back home to go to grad school and am used to evenings alone. I find the hardest adjustment is going to see him after being at home a couple of nights in a row by myself because I get used to having so much time alone, not having someone touching me ALLLLLLL the time. BUT, after a couple of nights back at his place, if he is not touching me I wonder if something is wrong ;)..It’s about adjusting yourself!