I feel like I'm going crazy!!!

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Hey,

I don’t think there’s an easy answer because waiting ain’t easy! I would just shrug when people ask -they’ll get the message! Also I would just not say anything and keep quiet -I reckon it must be coming soon as he has had the ring for so long. Maybe NYE?! Did you ever have a timeline talk? Maybe you could just say to him you appreciate he is waiting for the perfect time but in your eyes the time is pretty perfect already whenever you’re together :-)

so, I would say talk at some point but maybe give him a little longer….. Good luck though, I hope it’s coming soon!

Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

Hi there, I kinda know what you mean about the “going crazy” part…I was with my FI for 3 years before he proposed. He actually had my ring for about 8 months before he popped the question because he wanted to wait and propose on our 3 year anniversary. It was sweet of him, but in the midst of all that waiting I truly believed that I was gonna lose it lol…not to mention those friends who happened to get proposed to or even married before me, even though we had been together longer.  The best advice I can give is to just take a step back and relax.  Don’t force the engagement or the ring down his throat. It can be miserable if you try to figure out when he’s gonna propose, and if you are counting on that everytime you go out(trust me, I know from experience) you could end up being miserable company. Just try to enjoy this time together and not focus on it so much. Even though my courting period with my FI has been long, I am now grateful for it. Some of those very friends that rushed to get married are having major issues already in their marriages and wishing that they had waited longer before saying “I do.” It makes me feel good to know that we are able to build a stronger foundation for our marriage because we have been together longer. As for those friends and family that keep asking about your ring…ugh! That was probably the most annoying thing about the wait. Just keep a strong face and confidently let them know that it’s coming. Hopefully soon! 

Member
186 posts
Blushing bee

I understand how frustrating waiting can be!  I was with my guy for 8.5 years before he proposed.  People asked me constantly when it was happening.  I kept thinking to myself – how should I know?  He’s the one that’s going to do the asking! Honestly what worked for me was keeping quiet about it and trying to focus myself on other things.  I sat down with him one day and was just honest.  I told him how much I love him, and how much I want to marry him.  Then I said, “I want you to be just as excited as I am about getting engaged, so I don’t want to rush you.  It would be nice though to have a general idea/timeframe for when it might happen.”  He told me “sometime” within the next 2 years and I’ll admit I was crushed at the time, but he ended up asking me 2 months later. After that talk with him I kept quiet and just tried not to thinking about it too much and it ended up working for me.  Maybe having a similar conversation will do the same for you.  You said that you went ring shopping (although it was awhile ago), so it’s pretty obvious he sees getting engaged as the next step.  :)

Good luck!

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