My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 and a half years now and have been living together for 1 and a half years. I know he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and cannot wait to start a family with him someday! We have talked about getting married and even went ring shopping in July of 2011 (Now its December 2012). He is a very shy guy and I’m trying to be patient, but I feel as if I’m driving myself crazy waiting for him to propose!!! I find a way to turn everything we do into a proposal and time after time I feel like I let myself down by being so excited! It also does not help that EVERYBODY (family, friends, coworkers) are constantly asking me when we are getting engaged, and the aggravating question, “Where is your ring!?!” I have talked to my boyfriend and he says that he is waiting for the perfect time and way.
Does anybody have any advice on how to stop making myself go “crazy” and how to answer people when the ask me the questions that are beyond my control?
I don’t think there’s an easy answer because waiting ain’t easy! I would just shrug when people ask -they’ll get the message! Also I would just not say anything and keep quiet -I reckon it must be coming soon as he has had the ring for so long. Maybe NYE?! Did you ever have a timeline talk? Maybe you could just say to him you appreciate he is waiting for the perfect time but in your eyes the time is pretty perfect already whenever you’re together
so, I would say talk at some point but maybe give him a little longer….. Good luck though, I hope it’s coming soon!
Hi there, I kinda know what you mean about the “going crazy” part…I was with my FI for 3 years before he proposed. He actually had my ring for about 8 months before he popped the question because he wanted to wait and propose on our 3 year anniversary. It was sweet of him, but in the midst of all that waiting I truly believed that I was gonna lose it lol…not to mention those friends who happened to get proposed to or even married before me, even though we had been together longer. The best advice I can give is to just take a step back and relax. Don’t force the engagement or the ring down his throat. It can be miserable if you try to figure out when he’s gonna propose, and if you are counting on that everytime you go out(trust me, I know from experience) you could end up being miserable company. Just try to enjoy this time together and not focus on it so much. Even though my courting period with my FI has been long, I am now grateful for it. Some of those very friends that rushed to get married are having major issues already in their marriages and wishing that they had waited longer before saying “I do.” It makes me feel good to know that we are able to build a stronger foundation for our marriage because we have been together longer. As for those friends and family that keep asking about your ring…ugh! That was probably the most annoying thing about the wait. Just keep a strong face and confidently let them know that it’s coming. Hopefully soon!
I understand how frustrating waiting can be! I was with my guy for 8.5 years before he proposed. People asked me constantly when it was happening. I kept thinking to myself – how should I know? He’s the one that’s going to do the asking! Honestly what worked for me was keeping quiet about it and trying to focus myself on other things. I sat down with him one day and was just honest. I told him how much I love him, and how much I want to marry him. Then I said, “I want you to be just as excited as I am about getting engaged, so I don’t want to rush you. It would be nice though to have a general idea/timeframe for when it might happen.” He told me “sometime” within the next 2 years and I’ll admit I was crushed at the time, but he ended up asking me 2 months later. After that talk with him I kept quiet and just tried not to thinking about it too much and it ended up working for me. Maybe having a similar conversation will do the same for you. You said that you went ring shopping (although it was awhile ago), so it’s pretty obvious he sees getting engaged as the next step. :)