- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
Hello! I’m brand new to the boards and felt like I just had to post. I feel like I’ve been going crazy since July waiting for my boyfriend to propose. I would love some thoughts/advice, so here is a little bit of background info…
We have been dating for three and a half years. Last year in July he was offered an incredible career opportunity he couldn’t pass up, so we have been living 1000 miles away up until now as I am finishing up my student teaching with the university I graduated from in December. I know that I am still young (just turned 22 in February— he flew me out for a romantic weekend in Napa for my birthday— and just about drove me crazy because I thought that was going to be the proposal! Obviously, it wasn’t…) but he is older (26) and is making excellent money and living on his own in a beautiful condo and all of that.
We don’t talk about marriage, but it has become very clear to the both of us that we plan on spending our lives together and starting a family together. We both want to have children in our early thirties, and even though I have awhile, he only has a few more years, and I have expressed to him before that it is important to me to be married for at least 5 or 6 years before we start having babies.
One night we did get really, really drunk though and talked about him proposing and our lives together and our wedding and he couldn’t wipe his smile off of his face the whole night because he said he was so happy to know that I would say yes if he were to ask. Like I said, we were REALLY drunk (it was NYE), but he said that night “if I had a ring with me I would ask you right now”. This was in January!! What is taking so long??
He is begging me to move out and come to him when I’ve finished up my student teaching, and I have been flipflopping all year not knowing WHAT I should do. I want nothing more than to be with him, I hate being seperated like this– but I truly feel like leaving behind my family and all that I’ve built here and moving to him is the biggest commitment I have ever made to a person, and it feels to me like he should be reciprocating with just as big of a commitment (like… in the form of a ring, hehe). I haven’t told him this explicity (it would feel like too much pressure to me and ruin the surprise if he does propose soon), but I have told him that I feel like I would be making a huge commitment by doing this and I feel that he is being much too passive in the whole decision, not making the decision WITH me as a couple. He feels that he doesn’t want to pressure me or tell me what to do if it doesn’t feel right, even though he says he selfishly wants me there more than anything.
My student teaching and apartment lease is done at the end of May, and then I will be moving home and job searching… I really REALLY don’t want to do that for long and would rather it be a temporary thing while I am preparing to move to him. I just feel that I can’t make that decision until I have a ring on my finger.
It felt good to get that off my chest. Thank you to anyone who read this absurdly long post!! Any thoughts would be so appreciated =)!