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1. Well, only you can make the right choice. FI and I are getting married on labor day weekend b/c he has an extra day off from grad school, and we believe his professors will give him at least two more days off so we can have a mini-moon. Could you do this? Have you talked to advisors about an independent study with a professor you know to be able to complete the requirement?
2. Sometimes you have to get creative. The thing I'm concerned about is your expectation that someone else is paying for your wedding. My parents are paying, but they volunteered to--we never expected for them to pay. You can't rely on someone to pay if they are unsure about it. Also, it sounds like your reception venue needs to cut you a deal with that--call them up, tell them that you have been caused undue hassle in as far as the double booking has gone, and you would like 10% off for your trouble. Check your contract--is there an out if they made the mistake?--and consider cheaper venues. Consider cheaper meal options, too.
3. You shouldn't worry about the divorce rate, if you know you have a solid marriage. You're a psych major, right? You should know the value of good premarital counseling and returning to counseling if you have any major issues.
It just sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now! You might consider pushing the wedding back just to save you some stress, but only you can make that call. Good luck!
Maybe you could try and do the last class you need as an independent study during the summer? That way you could still graduate on time...
I feel like the best thing you could do is to push your wedding date out to December. I know you deff don't want to hear that (if it was me, I wouldn't want to hear that either!), but I think that might be the best solution.
This will give you time to finish up school without having to juggle your wedding and honeymoon. It will give you more time to plan -- which will proooobably reduce your stress and it also gives you a few more months to squirrel away some more money.
But again, I know I wouldn't want to hear this... so that being said... It is still possible for you to get married in August! I echo the thoughts of the other bees to try to get an independent study or just talk with your professors about your situation... I am sure you can work SOMETHING out. Also, I wouldn't worry about living apart for a few months. What's "normal" anyways?! Even though it will be tough to live the first 5 months of your marriage apart... once it's over and you have your degree you can spend the rest of your lives together! In the long run.... 5 months isn't that long.
And girl, don't worry about things like divorce rate. Yes, things can happen and you can't see into the future... but I agree with Labor0fLove... You obviously value marriage and wouldn't jump into anything unless you knew you had a solid relationship. From what you posted it sounds like you guys really care about each other and I'm sure it's just the stress of everything else that's making you think like that!!!!
Hope this helps a little bit, and good luck with everything!!
ahhh! Thank you girls. At this point, I just dont even want to think of the option of pushing the wedding back and neither does the FI. It's somewhat heartbreaking, but I know it could be a good option.
At this point I have a professor who is helping me to find SOMETHING I could do to get the 3 (!) credits i would have left in order to graduate. And I would HOPE my school would not just say "well too bad" and not help. I would think they would do everything they could to help me reach my graduation goal of august.
On the bright side, I feel like if i can get through this stress, and worry. I can get through ANYTHING! and FI continues to tell me that God is going to show me something wonderful and it is going to be a learning experience... but learning what? I dont know... I guess I will see.
Thanks so much for the advice!
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Hi all, This post is really just everything thats going on in my life. I don't know if i can deal with it all and I am needing some pick me ups.
Issue #1: I am a senior in college at the moment. Majoring in Psychology I amscheduled to graduate 2 weeks before we get married on August 21st. so, yay! Right?!.. wrong. At this point there is a VERY good chance that I will not be able to graduate in August due to class availability in the summer where i am supposed to take 3 psych classes but only 2 are being offered :( WELL, heres the deal with this. I am in Alabama, and FI JUST started his new job this month in Florida. So, If I don't graduate in august I will have to continue school here in Alabama and graduate in Decemeber. How will this affect the wedding?? well, at the time of the wedding (august 21st) classes will have obviously started, this wont affect the wedding since it is on the weekend, but it will affect a HM. SO our options are move the wedding back to Decemberish (LEAST fave idea) move the wedding up take our honeymoon then i stay in alabama fro 5 months while hes in Florida, BUT we are married. OR we could get married on our original day and puch the HM back to December and then I live in bama for 5 months without him. Advice is needed has anyone ever heard of a husband and wife spending there first 5 months of marriage apart because of something they cannot control. do you think this is bad? ok? i just dont know, im torn, and freaking out and although my FI had been SO supportive I know he just wants to have a normal marriage where we get married, ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after, but i just dont know if this is an option. And what sucks is that it is very important to us that we are both graduated, so postponing graduation for a while really isnt an option... so help, please :(
ISSUE #2: The wedding is SO stressful.. It is just another added stress on my mind while trying to deal with school. This SHOULD be the happiest time of my life but i find myself crying most nights and feeling like im gonna breakdown. I dont want to look back on this year of my engagement and have horrible memories. we are getting marriend in Atlanta where everything is 10 times more expensive that most places so money is a problem for my family to come up with, Last weekend we went to meet with the reception venue to start planning and found out that they had DOUBLE booked us! FURIOUS! so, we ended up having to move our wedding up an hour to accomodate the other wedding ugh dont even get me started on that, and my dad is barely contributing and to TOP all this off I cant even have my wonderful FI here to console me. Sometimes I just need a hug from him and as bad as I can want/need it i cant have it. At this point, (because he lives in Florida) we will see each other maybe 6 times before me get married. Which is awful, and it sucks, i thought I would be fine, but i also didnt think i would feel like breaking down from EVERYHTING going wrong. This is kinda more of a rant on this issue, but its hard planning a wedding, and i honestly dont even enjoy it anymore. We aren't having fun :(
ISSUE #3: The biggest issue. Is anyone else scared to death of the divorce rate?? I am a complete realist which is sometimes a bad thing. Its very hard for me to look on the good side because all of the BAD sides. Anyways, the divorce rate is nearly 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. now I know everyone wants to say oh we will be toegther forever and happy but i cant ignore the stats AND just to add a little more I will be 22 when we get married and couples who get married young have an either higher divorce rate. I PERSONALLY do feel like Fi and I are perfect I expect to have bumps in the road, I know it will be work, but that is something im willing to face. Coming from divroced parents I KNOW what i want out of a marriage and divorce is NOT an option for me. BUT what scares me is no one PLANS to fall out of love or have something awful happen that rips you apart, I cont see the future, and its scary. I don't want to be a statistic and I am taking marriage SO seriously, I know it will change my life and that is a scary idea. BUT I love love my amazing FI. I could not have asked for a better person. When we entered into our relationship we layed it all out on the table what we wanted, didnt want, liked, and expected from this relationship. He has been there for me as much as possible considering hes 400 miles away and I could not be more thankful.
SO, I guess where i am going with this awfully long post (sorry about that) is that im a pessimist/realist and the ONLY person who can calm me down is FI and hes not here. I just need some help getting through all this and I feel like this is my most diverse group to get advice from. SO thanks Bees for letting me say my peice. I really appreciate it.