I Feel like my M-I-L is sabotaging me.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’d get your fiance involved again and let him handle it. This really sucks for you… it sounds like she’s really not interested in being there… OR she is wanting attention centered on her for arriving late, being able to complain about her dress not fitting and all the drama she can come up with. I’d get your fiance to deal with his family, stat.

Post # 4
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@kamf2013:  Hey, if she doesn’t have the dress or it doesn’t fit, or if she doesn’t get ready with you or doesnt rock up, she can;t ruin your day right? 🙂 Tell her to be there on time, in a fitted dress ready to do all the duties of an attendant or come late as a guest without her dress. Be firm, you have let her walk all over you so far, don’t let her ruin your day by being a drama queen!

Post # 7
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@kamf2013:  So that could me she does not have the dress or she does and just doesn’t care?

If she does not, she is just not in the wedding. You *should* know by the rehersal if she has it or not.

If she looks like a hot mess the day of the wedding, just quietly instruct the photo to take a few BM pictures with her in them and the rest just for you and your friends at the reception?

 

 

Post # 9
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sounds like she doesn’t want to be involved and you are pulling teeth just to get her to admit she is not ready/involved/broke and everything else she can avoid to be in this wedding. You may need to just cut your loses, tell her where to be, when to be there, and what is expected of her for you and FI’s day and if she doesn’t respond then you have your answer. Also let her know if she does not repond in X amount of hours than you would “love” to have her as a guest in your wedding instead because you don’t want to “stress” her anymore since she started this new job. It may sound passive aggressive but if you want to keep the peace in the family kindly letting her opt out of the whole thing could be a blessing for you and her. Then again if she insist she wants to be in it, let her show up looking like a hot mess. No one will remember how she looked/acts/complains and if they do they will remember as a disorganized sloppy person. Besides, all eyes are on the bride and don’t let her get the best of you. Good luck!

 

Post # 10
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

This sucks. I would have your FI try to find out what s going on without causing too much drama. If they don’t answer him, then I would just let it go and be suprised if she showed up in a dress to be in the wedding. Is it a possibilty that SIL didn’t really want to be in the wedding and didn’t know how to tell you? Either way they have handled this situation so poorly.

Post # 11
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@IreneGoodnight:  +1 to this advice here 🙂 Its a nicer way of what I would do!

 

@kamf2013:  Well, maybe let the day-of coordinator have a heads up and then let her deal with it 😉

Post # 12
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It sounds like the issue is with your SIL; where does your MIL come into play here?

Post # 15
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If they aren’t ready on time or late, F them. They aren’t in the wedding. I hate people who make things about them when its not. Let your FH handle moving forward.  

 

 

 

 

 

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