- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Ladies, I really feel like a jerk.
My mom has been wonderful with wedding planning. She has been excited ever since day 1. We were working on addressing invitations this weekend. She did add a few people to the list. Now, she and my stepfather are paying for the entire reception, and we do have the space in the hall, so really, in those terms, it’s not a big deal. I just want to make sure that people aren’t going to get too crazy, and I don’t want a lot of people there that I don’t really know. I want the focus to be on celebrating our marriage, not a party for them. She had also made a few other decisions (very little ones, in the grand scheme of things) that may not have been exactly what I wanted, but in all honesty…it’s nothing that will greatly affect the day.
I got really quiet during addressing the invites, partly because of that, but also because I was getting a really big headache. I did mention that I wanted people at our wedding that knew my FI and I. I know it came out crabby, and then my mom started saying that she wouldn’t invite this last person she added to the list. She wasn’t being rude to me at all, but I think she could tell that I was getting stressed out about it. I did go upstairs and try to take a nap. Four Advils later (and taking out contact lenses), I still have the remnants of a headache.
My mom texted me later, wanting to make sure everything was okay, and that I could talk to her about anything. I called and said that everything is 100% okay, I just had a really bad headache, and I didn’t want her to feel bad.
But now, I honestly feel bad. While I was sitting there, she was telling me that she was having so much fun helping me plan. My mom truly is so excited for us. She didn’t really get to plan her wedding the way she wanted, and she did say that she is living through me on this one. My mom has completely pulled out the stops for me. I haven’t been told “no” on anything, and I know that this is going to be expensive. I don’t want to hurt her feelings at all, because she really has been supportive and gone way above and beyond.
Should I say anything else to her about this, or should I move on? When I talked to my mom on the phone, she said she was worried. I don’t want her to think she’s done anything wrong. I don’t think that I was right to have felt upset about some things, and I would hate for her to know that I was. It was also a really stressful week this past week, and that may have affected things. Work has been stressful lately (and she knows that…we’ve talked about it lots). She knows that I’ve been under stress, but honestly, everybody is these days.
Before I talk in circles anymore, anybody have any advice? Above all, I just want my mom to know that I love her and I greatly appreciate all that she’s done for us. I know that she’s making sacrifices for us, and that’s what is making me feel so guilty…knowing how much she’s giving up and my reactions these past few days.