Post # 1
I am currently living in CA and i’m having a wedding in FL. I only want bridesmaids who have been activley my friend for quite some time. I asked one of my good friends to be my bridesmaid when I first got enaged and I never ever get a chance to talk to her. She never calls me on her own and she never returns my calls. At this point… I’m not sure if she should be my bridesmaid. She really not being a good friend….
Post # 3
Just talk to her, be frank and clear about your expectations and the fact that you won’t feel less about her if she takes herself out of the wedding. Is she local to you or to where the wedding is?
I’ve got a friend who was very close to me when I was first engaged, but I’ve moved and we moved apart. She would have had to travel for the wedding and she doesn’t have the funds to do it, so her solution was to just not talk to me, not respond to my messages, emails, texts, phone calls, etc. I just had to nail her down and get her to talk to me. We’re still friends and the “Bridesmaid”weight has been lifted and we actually talk from time to time now.
I don’t know, but this might be what’s going on with your friend.
Post # 4
it depends how you word it… if she DOES want to be a BM, and feels like you are indirectly asking her to step down, that is a pretty good way to end a friendship!
Unless she actually does something wrong, then I think it’s very mean to un-invite her.
Post # 5
I have a bridesmaid like that right now and quite frankly I have been a little disappointed in all my bridesmaids and almost wanted to nix them all. Then I realized, you know what, we are all really busy and just not on the same schedules. Don’t un-ask a BM until they actually refuse to be reasonably helpful.
Post # 6
I agree, talk to her. I would say something along the lines of, I know being a bridesmaid is a lot of responsibility, and it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you decided it would be too much for you….
Post # 7
Thanks bees! Sounds like good advice to me!
@bonsai_spork:She’s local to the wedding. I guess the frustrating thing is that when I moved away… everyone just became so much harder to get a hold of.
I’ll talk to her and see what she has to say…