- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I feel absolutely horrible about what happened tonight & I hope I feel better in the morning. Summary is I think that I am the girl who ruined her proposal by talking about it too much.
Anyway, last night boyfriend & I had a really nice date. Awesome dinner, cute movie, etc. And we had a funny awkward conversation walking home which was probably only funny because we were drunk where he said, “You’ve told me you expect a lot, so I’m worried I’ll disappoint you with the proposal.” And of course I said, “Yes, I’m worried too.” The worst part of this story is that comment was not the worst part.
For awhile he’s been somewhat nonchalant & unrushed about the proposal. He wouldn’t set a date to go to VT to get my ring, and he said he would ask me in a couple weeks. And our anniversary is Monday, so I was a little disappointed about it not being on our anniversary (It just feels like a long relationship since if we had a child from a one-night stand when we first started dating, it would be starting first grade this fall)
I was pretty tired when we went to bed. And when he wanted to have sex, I wanted to talk. About my nervousness about getting engaged. I asked him to not tell me any more proposal details because it has just been stressing me out. And when I was saying concerns about “us” he heard criticism of himself (he might not be all wrong on this but it got out of hand). And he got pretty mad at me. And after lots of back and forth on this, got really loudly mad at me and told me he was driving to VT to get my ring tomorrow, not visiting a friend like he had told me.
So although I didn’t ruin the whole thing I ruined part of the surprise. I want to be mad at him for yelling at me and also for telling me about the ring when I asked him not to. But I also just want to put this behind us and move on. And I really don’t want to overthink it and go down the road that this makes us bad together (but it’s tempting because I am nervous about getting engaged).
Please help me feel better about this, bees!