Post # 1
i must admit that i am a very sensitive person. but, i’m sure most of us women on this site are. i was under the impression that this site was a support group for women who are waiting for a proposal. hence the word SUPPORT. as in SUPPORTIVE. well i felt like a few women who shall remain nameless were very dismisive towards my posts and my feelings. i don’t really think any of us are looking for tough love here, am i right? i haven’t written much of anything out of the ordinary from what the other ladies have posted. yet i got responses that sounded dismissive and not supportive. for the most part you guys have been very sweet and understanding. which is obviously what we all come on here looking for. people who understand how we are feeling. the point is i came on here one morning very excited to see what you ladies had to say and who was feeling the same way as me that day, and i left feeling judged and dismissed. I always try to be supportive and understanding when commenting on people’s posts. and i don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you?
Post # 3
@Impatiently waiting: Just out of curiousity how old are you? I don’t mean to dismiss your post- I just can’t remember getting a full introduction on your and your SO.
Post # 4
I read your posts, but did not read the responses you got (just to see what your original post was but not be biased).
i’ve found this community to be very supportive, but definitely a place for tough love/blunt responses at times.
Waiting is tough, I know. I was dating my Fiance 6 1/2 years before we got engaged (I was waiting for over 2 years and living with him for 3). We set time frames and they fell through. At times I did feel like, “if you don’t know by now, you’ll never know.” But I knew our situation was different and I knew he loved me and did want to pend the rest of his life with me.
If you got “tough love” comments, the most likely come from experience and from caring about wanting to give you the best advice.
Stay strong, take the advice you get, if something seems to harsh then try to let it go. Focus on the constructive advice you get.
Also, if something seems blunt or rude off the bat, try reading it from a different point of view. Sometimes things don’t translate well over the internet. People may sound more blunt because typing out the more detailed response just takes longer.
Stick around, this place is great.
i wish you all the best and hope the next 6 months fly by. I really understand what it is like to wait.
Post # 5
I hope you understand that not everyone will agree with everything you say, and not everyone will support or understand every singe opinion that you post. This forum is made up of many different people and thus there are many different opinions. If someone has been outright rude to you then thats not acceptable but if you are just expecting everyone to show their support and understanding by agreeing with you always then thats really not going to happen.
Post # 6
Ok……..i don’t get it. I just went back and read all of your posts AND responses and no one has said anything harsh to you. Even with your waiting comments, everyone has been super supportive (i never commented on any previous posts). The only thing that maybe was SLIGHTLY tough love was people responding to you saying “dh forces me to have unprotected sex,” to which people responded to you to take ownership of your body.
And 5 days ago you posted you love this site!! Not to mention you corrected yourself on what your fiance’s age, by two numbers that aren’t even near each other so it couldn’t even be a typo. Is this even for real? Not trying to be snarky but these posts just don’t make sense.
Post # 7
I’m sorry you feel unsupported. I must say that tough love is definatly a part of forums in general. I think that the ladies here at weddingbee are very supportive. However, I also know that if you don’t want people to give you an alternative point of view think twice about posting. Rmember on forums people are able to be much more objective than you can be because they don’t have to deal with the emotions you are feeling about the situation. It would be great to recieve all postitive responses all the time, but that wouldn’t really be helpful. I know that when I post “emotional” things I want the supportive responses, but I also want the, “reality check” if my emotions are clouding the big picture. I know it can be annoying when people tell you to basically “suck it up,” but sometimes I know I need to hear that. I would never want people to only coddle me. Your friends are not your friends if they don’t tell you when you are being unreasonable, especially when you don’t want to hear it.
Post # 9
It sucks to feel the way you’re feeling, but please understand that the majority of ladies on here are very well-intentioned. Reality for one bee can be vastly different from yours or mine, but try to appreciate what’s written (even if it’s constructive criticism) without feeling attacked or judged. The longer you stay with the Hive, the thicker your skin will get. Chin up, keep moving forward, and good luck with your waiting!
Post # 10
I wonder how much time you have spent lurking around the site? I’ve read through your posts and it seems that the responses you have gotten haven’t been any different than the responses other users have gotten when posting on similar topics. The thing about forums is -especially for one as big as this- you can’t expect EVERYBODY to share the same opinion. Tough love is necessary sometimes, and it is given with the best intents.
Post # 11
I had some beez that i will leav unnamed because i do not wish to start usless drama ,post
snarky unrelated dam right just rude comments. As you stated this site is for support not tough love!
my advice is too ignor it , its not worth it. Dont listin to stupidity.
wish you all the best.
Post # 12
I’m with you (and love the name!)
Post # 13
Ah, you were the unprotected sex poster. I almost wrote to that because what you wrote was seriously concerning, but the other bees beat me to it and said it well. But now that you’ve written you are not happy with various posting, it makes me worry all over again that maybe it was the comments on the unprotected sex posting that upset you (and therefore, maybe you’re turned off by the words used and aren’t listening to the sentiment behind it.) People only wrote because they were concerned and sometimes to get people to pay attention you have to do a “shake the shoulders” through the internet posting.
Post # 14
@Kay01- Love the “shake the sholders.” Well put. 🙂
Post # 15
you were the unprotected sex poster
well if that didnt start a rush of looking back at threads i dont know what would!
Post # 16
@eloping: Yep yep. I only remember the one about the ‘waiting’ Okay, I went and read a few of your posts. I don’t really know what you are referring to but then, it’s WB. Lots of sensitivity floating around *shrug*