- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
How crazy stressful! I'm sorry there is so much going on and all at the same time. When things get hectic, even small problems seem to dig at your spirit more and more.
Try to remember all that you're accomplishing. Though you have lots happening, you are helping out a friend in a way that she'll always appreciate. You are showing your patience and unconditional love as your FI reboots himself. Plus, you are PLANNING A WEDDING. You've got a buffet on a single plate, so remind yourself that you are doing it and doing it well!
It may be difficult, but try not to worry about your moving bridesmaids. Everything happens for a reason. If these girls are really important to you, I see nothing wrong with asking your friend who is moving in April to pack up as if she's moving on the 22nd. I think that's a solution that could easily benefit both of you! If not, even that will work itself out. It always does.
You're just overwhelmed because so much is going on at the same time and it's hard to handle. Everything will work out just fine. None of this is a huge problem.
Downsize, cut the things that don't matter much - cut the extra events if they're causing stress, cut projects, cut cut cut. This will help your stress level.
Take a little bit of time to relax and take care of yourself. Watch a movie or read a book or go drinking.
Then take it one thing at a time and do not allow your brain to try to think of everything at once. One thing at a time. Focus.
You can absolutely do this.
You wedding is not an imposition and plenty of people will come. A couple of people will probably not be able to make it (a prediction having nothing to do with you - this is in every wedding) but there will be so many people you love who are excited for you at your wedding and you'll be so busy trying to spend time with them that the missing will not hurt your joy at all.
Hugs and deep breaths, TPHoliday! You are a rockstar for even putting up with all of this at one time, and it is completely understandable that you would feel so overwhelmed. Don't feel like you're being selfish or blowing anything out of proportion, everyone has times when they just need to throw their hands up and scream.
Try to focus your emotions on what you can control. Plan the baby shower, but don't let it spiral into a huge affair that will cause you stress. A baby shower doesn't need to be an epic event. Think about the reasons why you do love your fiance and how happy you'll be to be married to him. The two of you can get through it together. Good luck.
***HUGS***
I agree with LittlestBirds, don't make the baby shower into an event of epic proportions. There is no rule that says you can't plan a simple shower with some snacks purchased from Costco and some pretty cupcakes. Is there anyone else who you can recruit to co-host so that you have a hand?
With the wedding, you have already made lists. Once you have taken a moment to take a DEEP BREATH, look at your to-do lists and try to prioritize them into time frames. That might help you to not feel so overwhelmed. Is there anything that you can hand off to your mom or to FI to do?
And I'm truly sad to hear about your MOH situation. :( Is your 2nd MOH absolutely certain she can't be a part of your wedding? I just feel like that's kind of a crappy thing to do to someone. Maybe it's the bride in me talking, but I'd just make sure I was all packed up except for my dress & heels and enjoy the hell out of my last night in town! Moving is an organizational process- how is it that she can't organize herself to at least attend your wedding? :( Sucky.
It's going to be ok....I know how disappointing it is when people tell you they're not coming and it's hard to not take it personally. :( But you will have tons of people there that DO love you and you will have so much fun that you won't even notice the people who aren't there!
HUGS - wow - that's a lot! and I can so relate. i tend to take on too much myself.
plus my poor FIs family is flying to my wedding from New Zealand - I feel like a pain in the butt and that I am annoying everyone with my wedding but you know what? People are not annoyed - they are excited - and it will be the same way for you.
Heck, I am very excited about your wedding! Let me know if there is anything I can do for you to help.
piping up - I read the OP saying that MOH is going to attend the wedding but won't be around much the weekend before to help with stuff.
Have you read this post from a practical wedding? Basically it says that "your wedding is NOT an imposition." And it's not. The lovely, important ones will be there, and they will be there for you, and they will be sooo happy to see you sooo happy. And the others? Well, to quote... "ass-hats."
Oh man. :-(
Is there any way you can hire a planner to help out?
girl! you will make it through. Maybe if your hubby has some extra time, he can help you with some of your to do lists. Example using my husband- he wouldn't want to plan a baby shower, since that's girl stuff (what mine would say anyway), but he would call caterers if I asked him. Or he'd find quotes online for balloons and streamers. Etc. If I phrased it like that for my hubby, he'd totally help. Specific things. I'm sure yours would, too! And that would make you happy and less stressed and that'd totally help your libido. It'll be business time in no time - good luck!!
Take big deep breaths. This will all come together. You haven't been given anything that you can't handle because you are a strong woman. You can do this!!!
You should definitely recruit your FI to do things! Like someone else said... plates, cups, drinks and snacks that can be purchased ahead of time, he can go find the best price for them. Same for streamers, balloons, decorations... its easy for him to find some options then present them to you.
As for the MOH thing and the moving... just think of your wedding as the one last party before she moves!
You sound so stressed and I know its a ton, but HUGS to you and you can do it! You will get through it!
The good news is that you're handling it right. To-do lists! Planning ahead! Keeping your promise to throw a baby shower! Asking those close to you for support! (It's not your fault if they don't offer the support you need.)
Put on a sad movie and cry all your frustrations out. Have a glass of wine. That's what I do, and it always helps.
Then get back to your to-do lists.
Also, keep venting to us. :)
Awwww (hugs to all) Thank you SOO much. Man was I having a pity party, to the point I ordered a cheese pizza from a pizza place for lunch. Unheard of for me but I did and I'm not stressing about it.
I talked to current MoH and apologized to her about my "disappearing act" b/c we were on gtalk when she told me that she'd be moving on May 24th (day after my wedding) and wouldn't be able to be around all weekend and I said something to the effect of: "I can't deal with this right now, I know I'm overreacting, I'll talk to you later" sign off
Not very nice, but neccessary. Then I called Mr. Holiday and just was so down, he was talking about canceling his evening (that takes a lot) After he figures out what was bugging me, he told me to post here to see if you guys have advice. So, I did. And I'm glad I did.
Back to the MoH, she understood ("Dood, no worries I know you're crazy busy and realized you're uber stressed, what can I do to help you") I gave her some things to do. I gave Mr. Holiday some more things to do (wrote out his to-do list and sent it to him so I didn't have to manage his) and then I focused on my work.
I didn't get everything I wanted to get done today, but I'm going to go home, get a big glass of wine together, turn on Monday's Olympics (I'm sooo behind) and color my posters to relax.
Mr. Holiday said he cleaned the box, fed/watered the cats today (wooooot) and did the dishes so all I need to do is come home, relax and pet them while they climb all over me!
I'm going to focus on the baby shower next week, I've planned mutiple parties I can bang that one out in a week. The only really big thing is the centerpiece "Diaper Cake" that is something I have to make, but I can do that closer to the party. Her party is definitely not the swanky shindig I'm known for but I did have enough sanity to let her know that when we first got together and if she wanted someone else to host it, but she said no and wanted me too, so that's what I'm doing.
Thank you for posting that link @Rocktsgrn, that was so great to read! I needed that.
My tissue paper kissing balls showed up in the mail today so that was lovely surprise and brightened me up a little bit.
Can I just say Mr. Holiday is the BEST. I just got home. Grapes were out on a plate with a glass of wine and my coloring all laid out. He cleaned up the kitties area, the dining room. Took the trash out, did the laundry and set the Tivo to the show I wanted to watch.
There was a packet on my desk, saying he loved me and he is whisking me away to Portland OR for my birthday where he is taking care of all the arrangements. Just so lovely to be taken care of in this way.
He also is taking care of the dinner before the wedding and emailed me the wedding night plans. Some days he is just too good to be true.
Just had to share b/c of how horrible I've been feeling today.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 29 |
| beargoose | 21 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| Ms. Salamander | 18 |
| LammChop | 17 |
| rebwana | 17 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| kat2014 | 15 |
| mypinkshoes | 15 |
| s.renea9 | 15 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| bookworm88 | 2 |
| imageeksowhat | 2 |
| rebwana | 2 |
| RayKay | 2 |
| Rivendeler | 2 |
| Ms. Salamander | 2 |
| melisslp | 1 |
| GoldfishPie | 1 |
| PinkPinstripes | 1 |
| allihappy | 1 |
I feel like my wedding is causing so many issues and that I'm selfish for trying to have it and have a good time. I'm just to the point where I want to tell everyone to screw off and run away.
I have 6 to-do lists right now. Some are office related, some are for the wedding and some are for the Baby Shower I'm throwing...a month before my wedding. I'm so overwhelmed and I'm just on the verge of tears.
I know I'm crazy for throwing this shower, but I told my friend years ago (when they first started to get pregnant) that I would throw one for them. They have been trying for years and with all the drugs and injections and what not. Then boom they are pregnant without any help. It's a miracle baby and everybody is treating it as such so. She messaged me with the news and promptly asked if I was still throwing the shower. I said yes. I asked when she would want it... she says April 22nd. So now that's on my list too.
My 2nd Maid of Honor (already switched once) has just informed me that she is moving to Arizona and she is leaving on the 24th. Our wedding is on the 23rd and she won't be able to be around that weekend because they will be packing.
I don't know what to do, I know I'm already fragile emotionally so this is probably an overreaction but I just feel like the wedding is in everybody's way. My first Maid of Honor is moving to Arizona after the wedding too (she is now a bridesmaid) and like none of our friends from out of state/country are saying they are coming (Even though they always begged us when we got married to come) They wanted to know immediately when we made the date so they could start saving... i did that.
Maybe it's a selfish thing but I feel like we aren't important enough.
My mom just keeps adding on things for the weekend, which I thought would be fun but it just seems that nobody wants to do it so now I'm just at the point where I want to just call the whole thing off.
On top of all that I have so many things going on in my life. Mr. Holiday is out of work and I'm having a hard time finding him not working...attractive. It's not that I'm falling out of love with him, but I love ambition in someone and he is just taking his sweet time, which is good for him; bad for my libido.
We have three cats and they are overwhelming me, he JUST offered to take care of them when I came home and found one of them had peed on my new down comforter last night. Everything is snowballing together and I just feel I've lost control and I keep thinking it's all this damn wedding fault.
I feel like I'm losing it. I don't know what to do. Why can't I be happy about this wedding? I'm always happy, but this last week has been nothing but feeling like I'm in this turmoil of despair.