Post # 1
I am going to keep this short and to the point…
What would you do if you found out your boyfriend had nude pictures of his ex girlfriend (he had them from when they dated) and he still looked at them from time to time, not to get off, but just to look at them because “he wanted to”?
He deleted them two weeks ago, but I just found out yesterday. I don’t know how to feel…
Just some facts he has told me about the situation…
-He didn’t use them to get off, just looked through them.
-He only looked at them maybe 3-4 times, mainly end of Jan and early Feb. Once more two weeks ago before he deleted them.
-He deleted them because he “felt bad” and “we had been doing much better lately”
-He didn’t have a laptop until Jan because his broke and we couldn’t buy a new one yet. They were on his external hard drive, so I do know the first chance he could have looked at them would have been in Jan.
Post # 3
You’re having a baby with this man, correct?
I usually don’t pull the counseling card, but counseling asap before the baby arrives. No, it’s not ok for him to be browsing nude pics of his ex “because he feels like it.” I can’t imagine him keeping them for any other reason but to get off. It’s not like it’s random porn with some random girl, this is his ex, and that’s just…. sleazy.
Post # 4
I’d be furious if I was pregnant and had legit things to worry about and my guy was looking at nude pictures of his ex.
Counseling, asap. And REAL proof that he deleted the photos.
Post # 5
Hmm I would be beyond mad! Why would he still have pictures of his ex? ESPECIALLY naked photos?!!!! and still look at them? If maybe he had forgotten he had them and happened to find them and deleted them immediately I would be OK. But for him to still sit there and look at them thats SUPER wrong. I would question the whole relationship and probably break up with him. Good luck. You deserve better
Post # 6
Not okay, whatsoever. I don’t believe that he was “just looking,” either. You have every right to feel sick and I agree with KatyElle about counseling.
Post # 7
Yes I am pregnant with his baby… We have been going through a really rough time with that as well. 🙁 I know counseling is an option, but my question is should I just leave and move on with my life? Would you ladies?
Post # 8
Oh, for crying outloud! Ask him – WHY? Second question to ask him – Do you love ME?
Post # 9
I have a hard time believing he was “just looking at them.” He was obviously looking at them for some reason or another, not just because he was bored.
I agree with seeking counseling.
Post # 11
Based on your single moms thread, I’d say it’s already clear you want to leave. If money/security wasn’t a factor, would you be gone already? If the answer is yes, then that is your answer.
Post # 12
KatyElle: You are totally right. I do want to leave. But finding the strength to just walk away is troubling me.
Post # 13
‘-He deleted them because he “felt bad” and “we had been doing much better lately”‘ UM….wut? Not ok. So if you hadn’t been ‘doing better’ he would still have had them on his phone??
My Darling Husband, at the time Boyfriend or Best Friend, had topless photos of an ex-girlfriend, who I worked with, on his phone. We had been dating about a year when I found out and I was not happy. He immediately deleted them.
The fact that your Boyfriend or Best Friend was still perusing them is weird. And then told you about it? The whole situation is just…weird.
ETA: Just saw that you’re already thinking about leaving…good luck to you!
Post # 14
AnneTossy: I will admit, he did not tell me about it. I found out by looking on his computer. I was in his recent files looking for a movie and I saw the album title and got curious. I clicked to open it and it no longer exists. I did confirm the last time it was opened or modified was 3/12. So two weeks ago is acurate for when it got deleted.
Post # 15
Agree with @AnneTossy: ! Having them on their because you were going through a rough patch is NO excuse. I actually think it makes it worse on his part. You will go through rough patches. You will fight, scream, bicker. The coming baby will bring a mountain of stress, and you should turn to each other, not to pictures of ex’s.
total red flag.
Post # 16
That is totally disgusting on his part. I agree with the PPs. I would leave. It will be hard, but better in the end. If you’re really determined to make it work, counseling is a good option, but in this case it might be more a sign of his personality than something you can work past. It (or something similarly disgusting) could happen again. I’m sorry this happened to you.