(Closed) I feel so bad… (loooooong)

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

🙁 I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. I totally understand how you feel about being mean to your SO and then feeling really bad later…I do that frequently, haha.

Have you tried having a serious talk with your SO about your feelings about his friend? Maybe he thinks your exaggerating or something and he doesn’t understand that he really makes you uncomfortable. 

Sorry I don’t have any good advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I definitely know how you feel – you aren’t alone!

Post # 4
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

point blank tell the dude to call the house before “popping by” he doesnt own the place and you deserve that courteosy – he already thinks your mean, so might as well live up to it and just tell him to back the heck off. i bet if you really DID snap at him one day he would back off.

mind you im hormonal right now so probably not the best advice, but i wouldnt even let him in if he showed up unannounced. my family members even know that if they dont call first im not opening the door.

Post # 5
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh. I have no good advice, but I can join you in feeling annoyed with the “friend.” I got so angry as I was reading that story. I get angry at my SO and regret it later more often than I’d like to admit, but you definitely deserved to get angry about that.

Post # 6
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow, sounds like you need to talk to your SO about his friend’s behaviour. Don’t totally block him from coming to your house but tell your SO that his friend has to call before he comes over and needs to let you know when he’ll be staying for dinner so that you can prepare.

You really do deserve that much at least. My landlord will drop by occasionally just to say hi if they haven’t heard from us in a while but never for the length of time that your SO’s friend does. I say just tell your SO that you like the fact that the two of them get along but you don’t personally like this guy so it makes you antsy when he drops by without you knowing. Any other friend would call so this guy shouldn’t be any different.

Oh, and I do that all the time. I’ll snap at FH and he’ll snap back and we’ll both sulk for about 5 minutes and then we’ll apologise and get on with it. FH always says it’s how we “discuss” things. But occasionally we’ll feel bad later and talk about it. It’s how we get to learn more about each other as time goes on.

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