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They say the more you do it the more you want it. I have a lower sex drive than DH. Like much lower. Sometimes I just have to fake it til I make it, literally, and then I want it more often. Maybe your FI could keep this in mind and try to compromise at first?
We are in the same boat. My FI and I do it hardly ever and when we do it because I have to cry and b**** got not getting it. My fling before him was in animal. I sometimes sit at home and day dream of my past sex life...LOL....I get over it quickly because noone has ever loved me emotionaly the way my FI does.
Well assuming that FI is a fabulous man and on par with every other important part of the spectrum, I think that you will just have to compensate!
For some women, sex is directly attached to self worth, so to be with a man who infrequently desires them means that they don't like them or are not good enough etc etc. Which could be a disaster.
How long have you been together? Perhaps he will get into a more frequent groove as you begin to get more confident in comfortable in the relationship and each others sexual preferences.
In the mean time , I def recommend taking care of yourself so to sepak, or perhaps ( if it sounds appealing) in front of your FI, so he can be involved in your sexy time but indirectly.
@Eva Peron: Ahh, you brought up the self-worth talk... lol Sometimes I feel like maybe I do equate frequent sex and better image of myself, but at the same time, I just freakin' LOVE my FI and find him sexy as all hell! We've been together six months, but have been living together for 3 months and are totally comfortable around each other in every way. Thank you for your insight!
@sexxysheddy Haha I had to bitch and moan last week to get some sexy time, too! I felt bad, but heeeey, the only time I've ever turned him down was if the Crimson Tide was in town...
@youtookmyseat: I don't know whether it is the role of society, media or what but I think at some point in every womans life they equate sex to self worth! You are not alone ;)
I am so glad I found this thread!
My DH has such a low drive, I'm lucky to get it once a week after asking daily! Plus I have to give him oral to get him going!
I often think about this guy I was sleeping with who was AMAZING. He would make love to me for hours, it was the best sex I've ever had. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about the times I had with him but then I remember that sex isn't everything and apart from that my DH is perfect for me..
It does suck though :(
i agree, i think the more you do it the more you want it. SOMETIMES, if we've gone a few days or a week without it...i'm like ehh..take it or leave it. hahha but those weeks where we do it everyday, i'm wanting it more and more ! so i agree
lol i bug my fiance quite a bit usually we have sex about a few times a week if shes really in the mood a couple times a day :-) she doesn't have to give me oral but its nice when she does :-)
I'm in the same boat... Only I'm the one with the subpar sex drive :( I hope my man doesn't think about being unfaithful when I show a lack of interest. He tends to be respectfull and understanding of my situation (I have stomach issues which almost always causes discomfortable). When he does initiate it I almost always follow through. Most the time it's just getting me going that hard. TMI- He always wants me to finish (even though he knows that I simply cant always) which stresses me out. The pressure to finish makes me want to avoid sex. ahhh. I'd switch with you anyday for a higher sex drive! I want to want it... I just dont.
@youtookmyseat: i don't understand how people get bored with a sex partner... i have had mant long term relationships and have never gotten bored of someone. i would only get bored if they stopped caring about pleasing me.
i have the same problem he has a lower sex drive. and i don't know how to deal with it.
We have sex about once a day or every other day so I guess his sex drive isn't low but we used to have it more often. FI met his match with me cause he bragged about wanting sex so much - I guess his past girlfriends didn't want it much and then I took him by surprise. He says I make him sore.
The funny thing is that with my ex, I thought my sex drive was low cause I didn't want it nearly as much. But FI is just a better partner and I hate to admit it but I think the fact that he doesn't jump my bones every 3 seconds makes me ant him more.
With that said, I've been in the same boat where FI finally gives it to me after I get grumpy about not getting any, usually after 2 or 3 days. He says he likes to make me mad first but I think it's just an excuse for after the line's already been crossed.
The important thing is the level of intimacy between us is still high. Even if we aren't having sex as often as I want, I'm a naturally affectionate and physical person and thankfully, so is FI. So i still get a huge amount of kisses, hugs, and mushy words all day, which i know a lot of guys would find clingy, annoying, and overly sappy.
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My FI has a lower sex drive than I do.
I hate it.
I told him last week I could do it at least once a day and he tells me that if he did it everyday, sex wouldn't seem "exciting" anymore. WTF! I'm gonna be the only woman you have sex with for the rest of your stinkin' life... I never get bored, so I have no idea what he's talking about.
My guilty conscience kicks in because my ex (the guy I was with right before FI and got together) had a voracious sex drive. It was the best because it meshed so well with mine. I mean, we'd go at it multiple times a day sometimes. Now I'm at the opposite end of the sex drive spectrum with FI and I can't help but mentally compare him to my ex.
Anyone else have this issue? Or HAD this issue? How did you get through it? Has anyone purposely tried having sex everyday to see if it'd help anything? I'm just frustrated. :(