Post # 1
I know there have been quite a few posts about finding engagement rings before fiances popping the question, but I found mine NINE MONTHS ago. I’ve been pretty patient and just hanging in there without saying anything or acting differently (I hope!) but two birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and other special occasions have passed and I’m starting to feel sad and angry. I know that’s unfair of me as he doesn’t know that I have found the ring.
Why is this taking him so long? Isn’t he sure about us? At every special occasion I get my hopes up and I don’t know how much longer I can keep quiet for, which would really upset him, as I’m sure he has a proposal plan in mind.
We have a holiday coming up soon for my birthday but I know he hasn’t asked my father for his permission (my mother promised to tell me as soon as she knew) so I don’t think it’s going to happen then.
Any advice gratefully received! Beyond going crazy in the meantime!
Post # 3
How about if you ask him. I know thats htis not traditional but maybe he’ll get you the ring then. Or you could hint at finding the ring. Or just come right and say babe I found the ring could i show it to ya.
Post # 4
I thought my parents would tell me too – but NOOO they all kept it a secret!
He’s just waiting for the right time. Who knows, he may have something really special planned!!!
Post # 5
@vandhaug2011: I think she’s saying she found the ring he purchased in their home?
I don’t think you should say anything about you having seen the ring. I think she can ask him about your future together or talk about marraige, like the typical waiting bee, but I think he’ll be sad to know you found it. Maybe he’s paying it off? Maybe he has something amazing planned?? I can’t imagine how you feel because 9 months is a LONG time waiting since you’ve found that ring.
Post # 6
Or take it from the hiding place and be like I found this ~insert hiding place here~ is it yours?
Or just start a casual conversation about your futures and ask him when he thinks you two will get engaged/married have kids ect.
Post # 7
Oh dear, this is hard but you have to forget you ever saw it or else your going to make yourself insane and probably take your SO right along with you. I know you say you don’t act any different, but how could you possibly manage that? Everytime he asks you to dinner, and every holiday you get all worked up, and you just can’t put yourself through that….look, you love this guy, he loves you, TRUST him and let it happen…stop anticipating already. How many wonderful events have you felt let down by because he didn’t propose? Your missing your own life because of that little ring, you’ll get it soon enough, I promise.
Post # 9
@asscherlover: @caits615: @vandhaug2011: I have talked to him in the past about wanting to get married but he’s such a joker we don’t really have conversations that are too serious. He definitely knows that I want to get married, and I think that he does too – if he’s bought the ring, surely he’s committed? Maybe it’s for someone else, lol! My last resort is telling him outright.
@Nona99: I know, I know! I have tried to forget it, believe me. It’s just so hard to enjoy a special occasion without thinking “is this it? is it finally going to happen after waiting for so long??” at the back of my mind!
@MLDoddie: My mother promised to tell me if he asked my dad, she’s terrible at hiding stuff so I don’t think he has. Unless my dad hasn’t told her!
Thanks everyone. Getting it off my chest is making me feel better at least!
Post # 10
I know a friend of mine has the ring for his girl but he has standards he wants to meet first.
1 the ring has to be paid off
2 he has to be at least 3 large family gatherings including Thanksgiving and Christmas
3 he wants her dad’s permission
Perhaps your SO has a list for himself and is working on completing it, It might take time but lets be honest you were not meant to find that ring. So maybe it will be awhile but you need to wait because I bet he has something planned.
Post # 11
Are you sure this was a new ring he purchased and not something he had previously acquired from another relationship? As in… this ring wasn’t for you?
That sounds mean, but I can’t understand a 9 month wait unless something was… up.
Post # 12
I have had the exact same questions. I found an order confirmation 8 months before DH proposed. Just give him time, he’s waiting for the right time and when he’s ready. It’s a scary thing to do!!
I did burst after 4 months (right after Valentines day, and no holiday for 6 months!) that I had seen the confirmation. He had left it up on his computer, so it was his fault, but he was sad the surprise was ruined. So I don’t know if it made the wait longer or not coming clean to DH that I knew about the ring.
Post # 13
Make sure he knows that the proposal doesn’t have to be perfect. Some guys get intimidated.
I’ve heard stories of things like anniversary vacations ending in the girl screaming at the guy for not being serious/commited when really he had the ring in his pocket the whole time but kept getting scared off by the wind blowing the wrong way or a baby crying or something silly. There’s so many crazy proposals on YouTube. Some guys think they have to live up to that.
Post # 14
My SO has had the ring for 8 months now. Don’t fret… I did blow up at him after we came home from the Caribbean with no proposal because I felt really hurt considering we had been together for 4 years, since EVERYONE knows he’s had it that long. Then he came out and told me that he felt he had to do his huge, over-the-tope proposal, which is totally not him – because he expected that all females liked that. In the end, we worked it out. He still has the ring, but I feel better knowing that we came to an understanding that a proposal is not an “event”. It’s a moment… it can be understated, but with a lot of love going into it. That’s all I wanted him to know and he gets that now… FINALLY!
There are a lot of factors riding on this…. The ring might not be paid off, or he might be planning a mini-vacation to propose to you on?
Post # 15
Anything of substance that a man does, has a great woman behind it…got any friends that he might feel comfortable talking to? Sometimes they just need a wingman…If I hadn’t approached my sister FI two weeks ago asking if he needed some help, he’d still be her SO today….lean on your sisters girl!
Post # 16