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I've always known that my boyfriend and I were going to get married... we've had several conversations about our wedding, what ring I'd like, and our future together. So I always knew that one day he'd pop the question.
What I didn't know was that it wouldn't be a surprise. Over Christmas of this year, we were driving back to Michigan to visit our families and I was reaching in his computer bag for our Nintendo DS (I was bored!), and in his bag was the folder he made a few months back titled "Wedding Ring Ideas". I knew he had made the folder and I knew that he was going to have his best friends dad make my ring one day, but I didn't want to know WHEN! So right away, I just tried to ignore it but I pretty much knew he was going to talk to his friend's dad about my ring.
THEN, we were at my dad's house after Christmas and I was running out to the car to get my overnight bag, I stopped on the way out the door to check my phone and I think my boyfriend thought I had gone outside, because I then heard him ask my dad permission to marry me! I FROZE! I was devestated to have heard such a special moment between them and to know officially that it was going to happen.
So... he's going back to Michigan next weekend for a bachelor party and I'm pretty much certain he's picking up my ring at his friend's dad's jewelers... So... I know its going to happen soon.
My devestation and disappointment in finding out has turned to excitement... knowing that its going to happen and that we're going to be together is amazing, but I can't help wish I could erase some of the things that happened and that part of me could be surprised.
Did any of you find out beforehand? Were you upset? I talked to my sister about it and she said that she totally knew it was going to happen because her husband was all nervous the day he proposed... and I know the same thing happened with a couple of my friends.
I just want to stop thinking about it but I can't :(
I'm sorry you found out ahead of time, but it's such an exciting thing!! I definitely knew beforehand. I'd always said to my FI that I thought it would be so great to get engaged on the 4th of July. I just love the holiday and my mom always has a big party. Well, last summer I got into a big fight with my grandma. We went out for her birthday (July 3rd) and after dinner went back to my house for presents. I gave her a nice card explaining that I was sorry and that even though we have issues I still love her. She said (in front of my FI, mom, and uncle), "Well, I'm coming to the party tomorrow, but I'm not telling you why. You'll find out." I tried to play it off and make a joke about it, but after that I totally knew that he was going to propose. I almost wish he had scrapped the plans to propose. I was still deliriously happy, but that element of surprise was completely gone. My advice would be to not think about it, not talk about it with anyone, and hope that at least the actual proposal is a complete surprise. Oh, and CONGRATS!!!
Thanks! I am so excited that its going to happen but its pretty hard not to think about it :) Especially with my birthday AND Valentine's Day coming up... and I feel so bad for him because I know he's trying so hard to make it special and everything... poor guy :( I just keep thinking that if I had never went to reach for the Nintendo DS on our ride home, I wouldn't have figured it out!
No worries, Lindseylou. Sometimes things just don't happen the way you think they will. Mr Corn bought a house when we were dating and i was involved with the process. We had discussed engagement, but had established that he wasn't ready. Shortly after buying the house, he asked me when I wanted to move in (this was end of August). I said I didn't want to live with him unless we were engaged, and he said "ok, then. How about we say 'by December 1'". That right there was my moment where I knew he wanted to marry me and that it was coming soon. I feel like we are led to believe that most other brides get that feeling as their SO is getting down on one knee. But I think the reality is that many, MANY brides know they are going to get engaged before they get engaged.
I, personally, think it is wonderful that you got to witness part of your soon-to-be Fiance's discussion with your father. That is something I only wish I could have seen.
I will tell you that no matter how hard you try, it will be next to impossible to just ignore this and go on hoping you are still suprised. The good news is that Mr Corn STILL was able to surprise me and the moment was still incredibly heartfelt and personal, even though I was expecting the ring 'any day now'.
Many, MANY congrats to you both and enjoy this time!! It is the last of your single days :)
--Mrs Corn
Congratulations! We are engaged in the fact both of our families have been told that we are getting married this year, but we haven't done the ring yet..(stone was not there by Christmas) so we're doing an engagimoon where this will happen very soon.
Wishing you much happiness!
I sort of did a few days beforehand.I had accidentally called my mother (I intended to call someone else and pressed the speed dial for her instead), and she also mentioned that my FI had left a voicemail for her earlier in the day. They NEVER speak outside of when we all get together, so I knew something was up. I mentioned that if he was ready to propose that he should call my Mom. What I did not realize is that it would be that same weekend.
I was not upset,but rather more excited than I thought I would be.
I don't think it made the proposal any less special. I cried like baby anyway 
. Even though you may know it's coming, it will not prepare you for the rush of emotion that you will feel in that moment. It is a very special moment between you and your boyfriend and knowing that it's coming will not take anything away from it.
My fiance could not keep our impending engagement a secret to save his life! We had talked about it for months and looked at ring ideas together. Then, one night he called me to ask me for my parents' phone number! I thought for sure he would have the skills to surreptitiously get it off my phone, but no... Then the next day he called me to ask me out for a "special date" on the upcoming Friday. During the week everytime he mentioned Friday he would get this big moony look on his face and start smiling and smiling.... it was adorable, and totally obvious what he was up to.
We went out to dinner at a restaurant and I could see him getting antsy. I suggested we go for a walk outside. We did, but then we were too cold so we ran back inside, and while we ran I could feel the ring box in his jacket pocket bouncing against my hand! Eventually we ended up going back outside again (on my suggestion) and then he got down on one knee and proposed.
My proposal was perfect for me. The actual ring was a surprise to me, as I wanted it to be. Everything else I saw coming from a million miles away. I am also not big on surprises, and I preferred the week of anticipation!
So my advice is to enjoy the anticipation! You'll never get to see him preparing to propose to you again, and I found it to be the sweetest thing ever to witness. I too wish I could have heard him ask my parents; I've made him tell me the story of the call so many times. Nothing will compare to or really prepare you for when those words come out of his mouth and when it is actually happening. Trust me, you won't be any less excited just because you knew it would be coming soon. Congratulations and I'm sure it will be wonderful!
You guys all made me feel so much better :) Thank you! It's alittle awkward talking to my mom lately because I think she knows that its going to happen, but I won't tell her that I know and so she's just sort of weird on the phone now haha. I will try not to regret finding out (and I know now that its perfectly normal not to have a surprise proposal).
One of my girlfriends can't even talk to her boyfriend about getting married and I am thankful every day that I'm not in a relationship like that. It's a great feeling knowing that I'm going to spend my life with him.
Thanks again, girls!
My FI can't keep his mouth shut or keep a secret. He asked my parent months and months before he proposed and let that spill about three months before he asked me. About a month before he let it spill that he bought the ring. I knew the only thing he could be waiting for was our vacation so I was anticipating it the entire week. But when it happened he totally caught me off guard I was so shocked and surpised I was shaking the entire bike ride back to our beach house to tell my family. It was perfect because he managed to do it in my favorite place in the world and even thought I knew it was coming he totally caught me off guard. It was perfect and I bet yours will be as well. It is such a special moment even if you are anticipating it it will still be wonderful. Congrats! Be excited. He might not be planning on doing it for months (as in my case), which gives you lots of chances to second guess what you think is so certain 
Congratulaions lindseylou!
Somtimes the biggest secrets in life just find a way of coming to the surface, I found out my boyufriend was going to propose two days before he had everything planned but I had suspicions all month. He was just acting so weird and distant. It was like he was avoiding me, I even asked him if he was breaking up with me. But it really was because he was afraid to blurt it out because he was so excited and nervous.
The week I got engaged, I was on travel for work, feverishly working on a proposal (working 16 hour days). On Wednesday he asked me if I wanted to go on a picnic on Friday when I returned home. I happily accepted, it would be nice to relax before I had to work on Saturday. Then, he had to be a boy and ruin it. He wanted to throw me off the engagement scent and said, "well we can only spend a hour on the picnic cause I have a softabll game at 7pm" Uhm, take a nice romantic date and ruin it. Yes, I flipped out. It didnt help that I was under so much pressure at work and anything could have made me had a meltdown. But basically I told him to just go to softball, I no longer wanted to have a picnic. After continuing to be stubborn for 20 minutes, my fiance was desperate and demanded that I go on the picnic. Then he sort of let it slip that he had a gift to give me and a really important question to ask me. So basically I knew 2 days before it happened.
I was dissapointed too, but then it turned to excitment. And it ended up being a really wonderful engagement even though I knew beforehand.
OMG congrats girl! I wish I could have heard my FI ask my parents' permission. You are so lucky to have been there! (Plus this gives you some awesome stories to tell way down the road to your kids..."Oh Mommy knew he was ready...") I think we all know beforehand. It's never really a surprise, because you both know this is it. And most guys act completely bizarre when they're getting engaged. Your (FI to be!) is so sweet for putting together a FOLDER for the ring!! How thoughtful!! My FI wouldn't take any chances, and insisted that I pick the exact ring. So...no surprise for me. But it didn't make it any less special, and I was still a babbling idiot when he did it. Again, congrats!
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If it is a surprise or not will never take away the moment of when he actually proposes. I was in a similar situation; I knew he had the ring because he asked me to pick out the diamond I wanted and then I designed the ring. It was just a matter of when, and a few months after he picked up the ring and he still had not proposed, I figured it would be a surprise. Unfortunatly, on the way home from work one day I was on the phone with my dad and he told me that my fh had called him and asked to marry me. So when I got home and opened the front door I wasn't at all surprised to see him down on one knee, candles lighting the room, with a little black box in his hand. However, it did not change the moment, I was still shocked and I hugged him before I said yes!
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I'm sorry you were disappointed to find about ahead of time...but at least you know he has put a lot of thought and time into it!
My fiance was actually the one who was a little bummed that his proposal wouldn't be a total surprise. He proposed to me earlier than he had planned to, without a ring. We had spent a really amazing day together and he said, "If I had a ring right now, I would ask you to marry me. Would you?" Of course I said I would, and we're talking about the ring, so sometime in the next few months, I expect that he'll buy a ring and do it "for real." I know he was a little disappointed that it won't be more of a surprise, but I love that he just asked me because it felt like a good moment for it. And I'm glad I know to expect it, because I don't always handle surprises well. Our families don't know yet, although I did tell my mother "I wouldn't be surprised" if we got engaged this year.
When he does propose, it will be a super special moment that you will remember forever. Enjoy it! :-)
We talked a lot about marriage, but mostly conceptually - the first that I knew that he was going to ask was one morning over brunch, when he said "Well, I guess you should think about whether you would want an engagement ring, and what that would look like if you did." So that was subtle, right? But his first wife never wanted a ring at all - she had a family ring that she intended to use, and he ended up with the feeling that she wouldn't want anything he could buy her (pretty awful). So all through the process, he was really looking for some affirmation that what he wanted would be okay. We picked out the stone together, and had the ring custom made, and I knew when it was finished. After that, everything was a surprise - I actually had no idea on the day that he proposed, until he pulled out the little box.
As far as I'm concerned, it was much better that way than being completely and totally surprised. And from what you say, you wouldn't have been complete surprised anyway - you had talked about rings; you even knew how he would have the ring made. You still really don't know when it's going to happen, do you? You just know he's laying the groundwork. It could be next week, or it could be this summer. So I think you will be surprised, and it will be wonderful. Nothing in your life ever happens exactly like you think it might, but that is part of the surprise - and eventually part of the memory, and the story. I think so far your story is pretty amazing - your soon-to-be-FI sounds like a wonderful and considerate guy, to go to all this trouble. Let us know how it turns out!
He is such a great guy... and all of his friend's had really elaborate proposals so I think he feels that he has to go above and beyond when he actually asks me, when in reality I'd be happy if he just pulled out the box while we were watching tv! It is so cute how sneaky he's being... I haven't noticed any signs of "nervousness" so like some of you said, it doesn't mean its going to happen in the next month... it could be next summer!
Thanks to all of your kind words, I no longer feel bad about knowing... and am officially EXCITED!!!!!
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congratulations!! It's too bad you had to accidentally find out, but personally I think that's kind of cool that you got to listen in on him asking your dad permission, too . Bf and I have designed my ring together, but I don't have it yet... I know what it's going to look like, but I don't know when it's going to happen. So, mine's going to be a half-surprise, I suppose. I won't be floored with surprise, but it'll still be romantic. ;)
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Same here... I picked out exactly what I wanted and told him to just go with it and whatever he gets, I will love no matter what. I know that I will be surprised when it happens, just in a different way :) I won't be caught off-gaurd, but I will be shocked that its finally happening!
And hearing him ask my dad was a surreal experience... We've been together for so long that I had stopped thinking about what was to come, and all of a sudden I hear him ask and I hear my dad say congratulations and ask him if he knows how he's going to propose! I ran out of the house at that moment because I didn't want to hear anymore!!!
I only know one friend who was completely caught off-guard when she got engaged... and her and her now husband had only been dating just over a year and they had some major problems before walking down the aisle. Knowing that our relationship is as strong as it is, makes me feel way better then being totally surprised when I get engaged!
Congrats to you as well!
I think you're over reacting slightly. When you start talking about rings, you kind of know it's coming. But, why is it so bad it's not a complete surprise? You two made a decision together that this was right- you're equal partners. Instead of dwelling on this, you should be excited! You're getting married to the person you love most!
I found a slip of paper on the dresser that said "XYZ Jewelers Tuesday 11am" so I knew he was going to get it.
I didn't tell him about it for the longest time. When I did finally tell him that I had known he was upset. I think he felt stupid for ruining the surprise.
Congratulations!!! I totally want to be surprised too - don't we all? lol - I was engaged before and that was not a surprise so I was soooo disappointed - but even though you know he has already done so much in planning you still do not know when it will actually happen so it will still be a surprise. I know it's hard to wait but enjoy it knowing that it will happen at some point fairly soon - and let us know right away!!!!
My dad ruined the surprise--when he asked my dad for permission to marry me, my dad walked in and said, "Well, it's my understanding that this young man is going to ask you to marry him, and I want you to know that i give you my blessing."
Oops.
The look on FI's face was priceless.
Congrats to you, and enjoy this time! Don't overthink it!
We had talked about getting married for years, a ring for about a year, and then finally picked one out. Our anniversary then approached not long after we picked the final one. We went on vacation, so I pretty much thought it would happen then. And it did! But I was still overwhelmed with joy that it didn't matter if I had a clue or not. It was still the most exciting thing to happen in my life so far! Early Congrats!
@catrelle83: That's almost EXACTLY what my dad said to my sister after her now-husband asked permission. He did better when my time came around, but my fiance had already told me that he was on his way over to my parents' house to ask. Ha. Silly boy.
This is awesome! Remember that you still don't know exactly when or how he'll propose, so it'll be a very nice surprise no matter what!
Just embrace it and be happy! I totally knew my boyfriend was going to propose. We'd talked a lot about rings and he has a really hard time keeping secrets. A few weeks before he proposed, he had scheduled dinner with my parents on our way through their town. Like another post I read, they never really talk on their own so I figured something was up. BUT I thought that the dinner was an engagement celebration. When it didn't happen before, I was confused. Apparently he had asked my dad's permission and in that conversation scheduled dinner.
The following week we were at cocktail party and he commented on other women's engagement rings. And he commented on my own jewelry that night (I have a bracelet with little diamonds and he commented how small they were.) A few days later when my ring came in he proposed. Everyone asked if I was surprised and I of course told them, yes : )
early congrats! since you don't know when it'll happen, i wouldn't worry too much about it. a few of my friends kind of figured the general timeframe based on their husband's behavior leading up to it. i think it's kind of common for some kind of hint to be dropped. so enjoy yourself and definitely enjoy the proposal process!
as for me, i need it to be a complete surprise. only because i'm nosy as all get out and if i catch even the slightest whiff that something's up i'm going to start investigating. i already told the bf that he needs to keep the number of people who knows to a minimum because i've been known to press people into spilling the beans. everyone has to act normal or else. lol.
How exciting for you! Even though you found out ahead of time, I'm sure it's going to be special and exciting when he finally asks.
I wanted it to be a complete suprise but that didn't exactly work out. We were going away for the weekend and I suspected (although did not know for sure) that it was going to happen then. I had mentioned to my sister that I was hoping it would happen that weekend, but still wasn't sure. When I was leaving, my sis said "Next time I see you, you'll be engaged!!" I found out later that my fiance had told her ahead of time that he was popping the question! I was totally devastated because I wanted to be surprised and felt like she totally ruined the suspense. My sister denies spoiling anything--she acts like i knew anyway, but it was still kind of a let down.
However, when he finally asked me, it was super exciting and all that lead-up didn't matter.
I knew, and I had even accidentally saw the ring but when he asked time froze and I still cried and was completely SHOCKED! It's overwhelming when another human being asks you for forever and makes a promise to you and everyone else that he's not going anywhere. Make sure you get a mani ;)
Sometimes i think reality is much better than our idealized reality... but it takes a moment to let that expectation go. I always anticipated a brilliant round cut sparkler on my finger, and somehow it took me months before i realized, what i thought i wanted and expected was totally not me. Luckily we realized this before he proposed.
But i think as much as you may feel that you "ruined" the surprise, i think in some senses, you are so lucky to have been there to hear him ask for your hand... or to know the lengths he's going to for you...
For some reason, i think we're supposed to be surprised by it... and to be honest. whether you know when its coming or not, the moment is just as shell shocking and surreal... and just AS wonderful as if it were a surprise!
Congratulations! :)
I totally knew in advance. He was at work late one night so I went to his house to leave him a surprise to come home to. I made his bed and left him a little love note and a little present. Then as I was straightening up around his house I found the bill for the ring. We had looked at rings from this store before but I didn't know if he had bought the one we had both agreed on. So I knew it was coming and I knew when he planned to do it.
Just like the other ladies, I could tell that he was really excited for that day and couldn't wait for it. He kept bringing it up and the whole week before I would catch him staring at me and smiling. I was afraid I wouldn't act surprised when he did it (I'm not a great actress!) but I burst into tears when I saw him down on his knee with the ring out. Your emotions will definitely take over when it happens. It was awesome! Congrats!!
CONGRATS!
I had joked with my FI that if he didn't propose to me by vacation this past summer *I'd* propose to him. Our 2nd night there he wanted to take a walk on the beach & I didn't but went along with him anyway... We stopped to sit and look out over the ocean and I kept thinking "Is he gonna propose? No, he's not. But what if he does?" and then he started saying sweet things and asked if I'd marry him! I'm so glad he surprised me!
I agree with amy77jc - even if you know it's coming it'll still be just as exciting & amazing as if you had no idea. Besides you don't know exactly when he'll propose!
I ruined my own proposal moment. We had discussed getting married before, and one night each of us told the other, very specifically, "I want to marry you." And so I said to him, "Well, I guess we're engaged now, right?" I had previously told him that I didn't want a ring, so I thought that would be it. Afterwards, I regretted not having a proposal.
But my fiance had a few tricks up his sleeve... we went on a trip through Europe a few months later, and he proposed to me in every country we went to. My favorite moment was when he went down on one knee and offered me a cupcake instead of a ring in London. Even on our last stop, in Paris, I was still surprised when he proposed (by the Seine).
So it worked out in the end. And, after all, the most important thing is to be getting married, not how it happened.
Like most of the above, I totally knew it was coming. We had looked at rings, he had told me that he got the perfect one, I even saw a receipt for it. He also made the mistake of saying something to the effect of he wanted a year engagement (never did figure out why a year?), so the wedding couldn't be before Jan 2010. Since I knew we were going on a big vacation with his family in Jan 09, it was kind of obvious. But even with all that, it was a huge surprise. We went snowmobiling in Yellowstone, and when we got to Old Faithful he told me to go ahead to the bathroom without him, he needed to talk to his stepmom. He caught back up to me after I came out of the bathroom and led me up towards the geiser. He said he finally had my Christmas present (it had "come in late"), and handed me a photo album of us he'd made. I read through it and the last page said "will you marry me" and when I got to it he got down on one knee. I didn't cry, cause it was so cold, but it was still a great surprise and very emotional. It was perfect! I would never trade it for a true surprise. If nothing else, I know he felt a lot better because we'd talked about it so much so there was no being nervous I might say no. So be excited, and CONGRATULATIONS!!
well congrats! I actually found out that my FH was going to pop the question and I made the mistake of letting him know I knew.. He waited a year and a half before doing it since he wanted it to be a surprise. My advice for you: Throw it out of your head. Don't be expecting it and don't tell him you know. He is working hard to make it a special moment for you (which you know) I would try not to think about it b/c who knows it may be a couple months away before he asks and you don't want to upset yourself by wondering about it! I guess the good thing is that you can go ahead and secretly start with the details. HAPPY PLANNING!!!
I knew when my FI was going to propose. Of course, he doesn't know that. I thought it would totally ruin it--but it didn't. The moment was still special and something I will always remember. Try to put it out of your head and just enjoy the fact that you're getting engaged. And...who knows? maybe he'll end up surprising you!
Good luck! And give us an update!
My fiance and I were in Europe for New Years and I felt a small, hard box in his jacket pocket - i knew right away it was a ring box. We had never discussed my engagement ring or anything like that before, so it really would have been a total surprise. But when he did pop the question, it was till as wonderful as ever. Everyone else i right in saying, just try not to think about it. I never told my fiance that I had known it was coming since i know he wanted it to be a surprise - it's a glorious moment for us, but also for them. No need to rain on his parade :)
My fiance started asking me to marry him a week and a half after we started dating. He's continued to ask me pretty much every day since then... and sometimes I ask him. But I don't have the ring yet, and I don't know what it will look like or when it will come... Pretty sure when it's getting close I'll be able to tell because I can read the Mr. like a book.
SO?! Did anything happen?! Or is it one more week?
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I just found out it's coming soon, too! One of my absolute favorite things EVER are surprises! So I really don't want to know when or how he's going to do it. But we did go look at rings once back in October because I am the kind of person who needs to feel the ring on in order to know if I'd like it for the rest of my life. I didn't want to pick it out though, so the jewler had me pick my top three styles and the shapes of diamonds I liked most. The choice and any other details are up to him. Anyway, he caught me being sad last week, and so he told me that he has been waiting so long to actually propose because the ring takes five months to order. So now I pretty much know it's coming. I told him to please surprise me and not let me figure it out ahead of time.
I knew too. I was very upset that one of my friends said "tonight might be the night" though when we went out on "just a date". I knew it was probably the night but I didn't want to say it or have it said because then it kinda spoils the moment. I of course was still psyched. But I still wish I could say "I had no idea"
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