Post # 1
This morning I freaked out. There were tears, there was swearing, I finally just left and went to work becuase I coudln’t handle it any more even though Im not on the schedule today.
Backstory: We bought a house in January, we are due in September. The house is a fixerupper, but in much better shape than previous houses I have purchased and flipped on my own. I really didn’t think this was going to be an issue. Mr J is a handy person and used to work finishing houses, I have renovated quite a few buildings both by my self and with my family….
The problems started when we realized the plumbing had to be replaced. I was fine not having running water for a few days while he and his friends cut out a few sections of drain to replace it with new pipes that were up to code. The pipes got cut out….. and nothing. It has been 2 1/2 weeks since we last had running water and I am totally over it, he won’t let me just hire someone to finish it. He wont let me help him.
Then the boiler went out and it took him 3 days just to even call his friend who works on boilers professionally because he wanted to fix it him self. turns out all we need is a zone valve but its saturday and the hardware store is not open now.
The front door needs to be replaced. It does not seal, it will not lock. a strong wind or our dog jumping up on it will cause it to open randomly in the middle of the night letting in the -25 deg wind. He says he has a new door for it at his shop… he said that before we even move in. Still no door.
The whole house is not level. He started leveling it and stopped just short of the front wall. I want to order flooring, I want to rip out the 30 year old shag and install laminate (which I can do by my self) I want to re-insulate the floor, patch the cracks in the plaster walls, replace some of the faulty light swirches in the living room and install a brick hearth for the woodstove I just ordered. All of these things I can do by MY SELF but not without a level floor… and plumbing.
No plumbing…the house is at 50 when the thermostat is set at 80…the front door opens randomly… 30 year old carpet that I am discusted to walk on…a 10 degree slope to the living room floor…faulty light switches…cracked plaster walls and NOTHING that I can do about any of it. I am considering just abandoning ship and finding a place to rent by my self.
Post # 3
@globalmargaret: That must be frustrating. Your SO is clearly a procrastinator. Sometimes that can be a good coping technique. Some problems actually do solve themselves if you wait long enough. But that’s not going to happen with the door or the floor.
I would give him a deadline and tell him if it’s not done by then, you’re going to hire someone to do it.
He is wasting a lot of money with all the heat leaving via the front door. The savings can pay for the contractor.
Post # 4
@julies1949: Thanks Julies, sorry that was such a long post. I had a talk with him about it this afternoon, specifically about the not having running water for over two weeks and he just kept saying that we are saving so much much by having him do it himself that he refuses to let anyone else under the house. Thankfully I have friends down the road who will let me shower at their place but I think a deadline might be in order soon if I dont at least see progress. so frusterating
Post # 5
@globalmargaret: Definitely sounds like it is time for a major talk and a deadline for fixing the water and leveling the house. It’s crazy to not have running water for 2 weeks when your SO’s laziness is the only reason for it. It’s a waste (and possibly unsafe depending on where you live) to have the door popping open randomly.
Wow I’m surprised you can stand living with him! Ugh. I would be freaking out too. Definitely time to let him know that if he doesn’t finish the projects by certain dates, you’ll be hiring someone.
I would say he needs to get the plumbing done by next Friday at the latest and if it’s not done by that afternoon, you’ll call someone the same day. But good luck getting a professional plumber to show up. . . they SUCK at following up with customers as a general rule, in my area anyway.
Post # 6
You are pregnant and soon will have a newborn in the house. If that isn’t enough to motivate him to get the work done, what else would it take?
Can he tell you how he plans to take care of the laundry that a baby generates without running water?
What about providing a comfortable temperature inthe house for a new baby?
Honestly,if he thinks saving money is worth more than health and safety for his family, he needs his head examined.
Give him a deadline, then call someone in to do the work.
Post # 7
OP I believe julies1949 said it best.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
OP, you deserve a medal. I would have lasted two minutes.
Post # 9
Thank you ladies. I sat down this weekend and made three lists. One of all the things I can do, one of all the things he can do, and one of things we will likely hire someone for or they aren’t a priotiry they just need to get done by somebody eventually.
After looking at the list and talking about it extensively he realized that leveling the floor (something that will take less than 2 hours is preventing me from doing days of work on the floor, door, baseboards etc. so he agreed to do that this week. After the floor he will, hopefully, get the to plumbing since the house needs to be level to do that anyway.
He keeps saying he is just too busy and just to stressed but I see so much wasted time in his schedule, I don’t want to call him out on it but I really wish there was a way for him to see those stupid little things that could save time and earn sanity in the long run.