I genuinely can't fake my reactions, and I hope I don't hurt people

posted 3 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: Do you like brutal honesty?
    I LOVE honesty! It never offends me if it's coming from a kind place : (26 votes)
    11 %
    I appreciate honesty, but sometimes it hurts : (103 votes)
    45 %
    I'm indifferent, general personality matters more than honesty/lying : (18 votes)
    8 %
    I'd rather hear the positives, skip the negatives : (19 votes)
    8 %
    I prefer people to spare my feelings if it's something I can't change : (56 votes)
    24 %
    Kindly fib to me - I appreciate my life choices being affirmed : (7 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11731 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I like when people are honest.  Two-faced people are pretty low on my totem pole of respect!

    Obviously if you didn’t like something and went on an offensive rant, it would be different, but I’m sure you contain that! 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    While honesty is always the best policy, sometimes if you don’t have anything nice to say you shouldn’t say anything at all.

    It also depends on the situation… for example- if I show you something that I’m excited about and not asking your opinion, then I’m not open to hearing your negative reaction.  On the other hand, if we’re girlfriends and I need help picking a figure-flattering dress and the one I try on makes it look like a can of biscuits popped and oozed out of the sides, then yes, please tell me because I’m looking for input.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think if you cut out the “it’s not my taste” bit, it may be generally better received?  They’re not asking you for an opinion, after all, so you don’t really need one.  Just skip straight to the “I’m so happy for you” part. 😛

    Post # 8
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m not going to lie – I would probably be sad if you said that to me about my ring! lol, I would much rather you completely ignore my ring, don’t comment on it at all and just say how happy you are that I am engaged. And quickly move on – ask about setting a date/how did he propose/etc.

     

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    9908 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think as long as you’re not saying – that’s the ugliest ring I’ve ever seen, but SOOOO happy for you – you’re good.

    There are ways to be honest, without being TOOO honest – I wouldn’t hate you 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I just had to laugh, because one of my good friends is like this.  She says she has a “glass face” – since you can always see exactly what she’s thinking.  LOL!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @KhaleesiStormborn:  

    If someone just showed you their ring, in-person, and didn’t ask for your opinion but showed you their ring would you still say “it’s not to my taste?” because I think that’s kind of rude….nobody asked you about your taste.

    But I wouldn’t really care if someone said that to me.

    I don’t care about honesty but there’s a fine line of being blunt/honest and voicing their opinions when nobody asks or cares.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t think this has much to do with honesty.  It has more to do with common courtesy and manners.  I think you cloak it as a honesty issue to make yourself feel better about your bad behavior.

    It’s also not about affirming everyone’s life choices.  It’s about being kind to other people.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6644 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @DaneLady:  I agree with you completely.  If you can’t find a constructive way of saying you don’t like or really don’t understand a object/concept then ask instead of saying that is rude or tacky or what not

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