I give up. . I'm sick of arguing. . old fashioned mom problems. .:(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@katiecat08:  It sounds like you’re paying for it. If you are, I’d tell her not to worry because it’s not her money and this is exactly what your FI and you dream of. It actually sounds like a REALLY cool idea.

ETA: Stop telling her details, too. She doesn’t have to know if it’s not her money. If she asks about something just tell her “OH, I have that taken care of, and it’s amazing.”

Post # 4
Member
2131 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@katiecat08:  Maybe you could show her pictures of other weddings that have taken place there? Try Googling the venue name plus “wedding photography” and I’m sure you’ll find some real weddings (that look extra nice under the lens of professional photography). That’s what I’ve been doing with my venue search and it really helps to see what some places actually look like during a wedding.

Other than that, if it’s your money, I say just do what you want. She’ll most likely come around to the idea!

Post # 5
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@katiecat08:  Does the museum have any photos available from weddings they have had in the past?  My hometown has a warplane museum, and I was amazing when I saw an episode of Four Weddings where they used that as their venue – it was gorgeous!  Maybe some pictures or videos will help your mom come around to the idea by seeing how great it could be.

Post # 6
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

@LiliKitty:  +1

 

If you are paying for it, next time she brings it up remind her that she should be relieved she isn’t the one paying for it, then absolutely refuse to entertain anymore discussion about it. If she tries to bring it up again, change the subject, ignore it, whatever. 

 

Post # 7
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@katiecat08:  I agree with PP’s – if you’re paying for it TOO BAD FOR MAMA!  Stop discussing venue with her and move on!

Post # 8
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@katiecat08:  

If you are paying for it, mama has no say at all. 

Sometimes mothers become too opinionated about things that have nothing to do with them.

My mother has learned not to do that with me. It took many times of putting her in her place, but she got the idea. 

Post # 11
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It takes two to argue.  Stop responding. As Randy from SYTTD says, “If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to have the wedding you want.”

When your Mom voices concerns, thank her for her input and carry on planning the wedding you want.

Post # 12
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

‘you know what mom? i’ve thought of alot of these issues and have some solutions in mind. it seems like we’re just not on the same page here – i’ve heard what you have to say, but it’s our money and our wedding. i don’t want to talk about this anymore’

sometimes you have to be blunt!

Post # 13
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“Mom; this is where the wedding will be, I’m sorry that you are not happy with this location but it’s what FI and I want”. End of discussion. Don’t argue with her, don’t respond with she tries to bring you down.

Post # 14
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@julies1949:  +1 This. Totally. You’re not going to convince her, so just own your decision. Stop discussing it with her like she has a say. She doesn’t. If she brings it up, “Mom, I’ve heard your thoughts on this and it’s no longer up for discussion. How’s uncle X/the weather/grandma.” Rinse, repeat.

If she won’t stop, “Mom, I said I don’t want to talk about it. I’m going to go.”

Post # 15
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@katiecat08:  if you bring it up one more time, you can consider yourself uninvited. :)))))))))))))))))))

Post # 16
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@katiecat08:  you mom lacks vision…..just have her show up and wow her

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