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I got invited to a "Black Tie Preferred" wedding. What to wear?

posted 2 years ago in Dress
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    Busy bee
    lisalulu    September 19, 2009   Santa Barbara,CA

    Does that mean that the bride and groom want me to wear a long dress? I like knee-length cocktail dresses and lots of jewelry.

    But if I do wear a long dress, has anyone seen anything pretty? Nordstrom or any other websites like J Crew?

    Help!!!

     
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    BubblyBride    March 20, 2010  

    I went to a "black tie preferred" wedding once, and was one of only two guests in a short dress.  I was not close to the couple - I went as someone's date.  There were about 50 guests in total, and I felt out of place.  I had a long formal dress ready to go, but changed my mind at the last minute.  I always wished I had gone for the longer dress.

    Good luck!  There are lots of summer sales on right now - it's probably a good time to pick something up.

     
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    shortcherriez      

    Black tie = very formal = longer dress is preferred. Good luck finding one!

     
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    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    I would also go with a longer one. I bet you can find tons of cute stuff on sale right about now.

     
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    ddubzz    June 5, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    I agree that you should wear a long dress.  Try Nordstrom... they're having their Anniversary sale now.  Also, Macy's seems to ALWAYS have some sort of "one day sale."  I've found great dresses at both stores for very reasonable prices.  Good luck! 

     
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    carri38707    May 14, 2010   Chicago; Wedding @ Punta Cana

    It depends on what your date wears.  Are you going with your FI?  For a Black Tie event, if the man wears a suit, his date should wear a cocktail length dress.  If the man wears a tux, then the woman definitely should wear a floor length dress. 

     
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    Busy bee
    futuredrbraun    May 15, 2010  

    I think that it means that the would like you to wear a longer dress. There is a great article on this topic on TheKnot if you search for it!

     
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    frenchbulldog    August 22, 2009   Dana Point, CA

    Is the wedding in California? My good friend went to a Black Tie in CA 2 years ago and wore a short dress, but a nice short dress and a lot of the girls were in short dresses. I think it depends on the time of year and were the wedding is taking place.

     
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    RoddyBride09    September 5, 2009   Bethlehem, PA

    I would say go for the long formal gown for a black tie preferred wedding. Yes, Nordstrom has some beautiful long dresses that are AMAZING! Definitely check them out.

     
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    Busy bee
    lisalulu    September 19, 2009   Santa Barbara,CA

    It is in california, so that means people are less formal. But my FI is in the wedding party, wearing a tux. So, I guess that means a long dress. I like to shop though so it should be fun!

    Thanks for your help!

     
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    Leafy    May 1, 2011  

    Long dress, have fun shopping!

     
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    BeachBrideT    5/09   Florida

    I agree with the long dress, especially if your FI is in a tux! If you DO go with a short one, make sure it is super dressy (not a j crew-like sundress or cottony material). I think if you can't find a long dress, then a super dressy (think black or glittery) short dress could work as well.

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Black tie means floor length, but nowadays any dress with 'embellishment' works. I would never wear afloor length gown if I was a wedding guest b/c I am short and they look strange on me. Wear a nice beaded cocktail gown or a more formal tea length.

     
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    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    I love dressing up, but gosh what a burden on guests. Sadly, I think a long dress would be better, mainly because it's always better to be over dressed than under dressed. But if you really don't want to spend the money or if you don't feel like shopping, I'd say a dressed up black cocktail dress would be fine.

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Yup, black tie=long=formal. But if you can't afford it, really really dress up your cocktail dress and it's ok. You'll have guys there not in a tux, but in suits, so it happens.

    Macys and Dillards would have long dresses, too. You can find really simple "prom" dresses that are long but not too bright or crazy and those work well.

    This one is only $150 (i know it's still a lot) but you could have it hemmed afterwards to wear it more often, too. http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=501889866&view=80&N=1604009&searchUrl=%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3Fview%3D80%26N%3D1604009&R=02853166 or consider buying one on Ebay that somebody no longer needs/fits into.

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Oh i just noticed it says "black tie preferred" so that means I want to say that you wouldn't be the only guest in a nice cocktail dress that they dressed up.

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    That means the Bride would like it if you dressed black tie ... but if you cannot they understand and are letting you know that it's very formal.

     
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    Macy's and Nordstrom's have some gorgeous long dresses.  They might have a few on sale, or look for online coupon codes!  I would go with longer...then you're guaranteed not to be out of place.

     
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    lisalulu    September 19, 2009   Santa Barbara,CA

    Thanks guys. And I didn't think about David's bridal. That's a great idea!

     
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    Sulli301    June 26, 2010   Michigan

    Black tie prefered=wear a long dress :) It is your safest bet unless you can get a VERY formal tea length dress.

     
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    buffy    May 14, 2011   Los Angeles

    Along these lines- what would you (or would you?) add to an invite that's not black tie formal, but you'd prefer guests wear suits and cocktail dresses over jeans?

    I live in Chicago and am not used to people wearing jeans to weddings, but my mother recently informed me that I might want to include a note on my invites, as she recently went to a cousin's wedding and everyone was wearing jeans...... 

    Any thoughts or suggestions?  Thanks Ladies!  Laughing

     
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    Meowkers    August 27, 2011   Los Angeles, CA

    yes black tie means wear a long dress.  THere are always plenty to chose from at the department stores at different price points.  I find that in California weddings tend to be more formal even though everyday dress is more casual.

     
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    Busy bee
    lisalulu    September 19, 2009   Santa Barbara,CA

    Buffy, you say, "semi formal attire" or "cocktail party attire" Semi formal means short dresses and suits. That's what I am doing for my invites. But officially, etiquette states that you don't put that on the invitation, but the website.

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    I put cocktail attire on my website and we had no problems. I kept implying the whole time we were having a nice, formal wedding, not "casual" so nobody got the wrong perception.

     
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    seattlebride2010    July 17, 2010   Seattle

    oh no - this scares me! i was thinking about having a "black tie optional" gathering, and spreading the dress code via word of mouth. since it's in the summertime, i don't want women to feel they must wear long dresses. i'm really glad i read here that the growing interpretation of "black tie" means long skirts!

     

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