Post # 1
I guess I am a horrible fiancee because I DO care about my fiance’s bachelor party. It won’t be happening for about 6 months but I am already worried.
I trust my FI but I DON’T trust his best man.
Anyone else worried?
Post # 3
But you’re not marrying the best man. If you trust your fiance, it shouldn’t matter if you don’t trust the best man- he can’t make your fiance do anything he doesn’t want to do.
Post # 4
That doesn’t make you a bad fiance, it makes you a person who feels differently about bachelor parties. Have you talked to him about alternate, equally fun party ideas like camping or golfing and steak dinners or other many things?
Post # 5
@ohheavenlyday: Exactly what I was going to say.
If you trust your FI you have nothing to worry about. If the best man tries to force your FI to do something he doesn’t want, the most likely outcome is that your FI will start to think less of the best man.
Just be open and honest with your FI about how you feel and what you feel is “ok” for him to do and what would really bother you. Just be sure he is 100% clear on what would upset you and you should have nothing to worry about.
Post # 6
I’m not worried at all. I know my FI has the same values as me and won’t do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable doing. I’ve told him it’s his night and to do whatever he wants.On the other hand my sister has joked (hopefully!) about having strippers at my batchlorette and my FI has said if they were there he would hope that I would just come home.
Have faith in your man. His best man can’t “make” him do anything. People who say they didn’t wan’t do something but someone else made them are just copping out.
Post # 7
You are not a bad fiancee. Everyone has different relationships and what may not be appropriate for you may be for other people. If you are so concerned address those issues with him and let him know how you feel. Atr the end of the day, you cant control what happens or what actions people take.
All you can do I trust and know that your fiance will not do anything to jeoprodize your relationship. Communication is key.
Post # 8
I know I’m not a bad fiancee.
It just offended me so much that the other thread made women who care about the bach party look like they are in the wrong.
So if I am a bad person because I care what is going on, then call me a bad person.
Post # 9
@Confused_Bee: I posted in that thread and that is completely NOT what that thread is about.
Everyone has different views on strip clubs. No one was saying one view was right or wrong or that anyone was a “bad person” for holding a certain view.
We all have our boundaries and limits of what is ok.
I greatly CARE about my FI’s bachelor party. I want him to have a good time and I want him to be safe.
Personally, I don’t care if he goes to a strip club. However, I do not judge those who DO care if their FI goes to one.
Post # 10
@Confused_Bee:The other thread was made because there are so many of these threads where women are worried. If we say we’re not worried on a thread like this then we come off mean spirited and unsupportive. Maybe we just want a place where we can express how we feel about bachelor parties as well.
Post # 11
I dont see what was the big deal on the other thread. the problem is thatt here are so many threads where women are against the bechelor parties and kingytobe just made a post for those who always feel like an odd ball.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and again everyone’s relationship is different. its not meant to offend anyone. On the contratry it just made some of us feel relieved that there are women that are not concerned with the bachelor parties.
Post # 12
I was worried at first, too. I talked to the guy planning the party though, and I feel completely better. He asked me what I was comfortable with and everything. It helps that I’m friends with the planner too, though.
If you don’t want him going to a strip club, though, tell him now. Make sure he knows that it would really bother you and that it’s not just something you’ll easily get over.
Post # 13
@Confused_Bee: that was absolutely not what that thread was about (as the person who started it), if you took it that way- its on you. Like I said in the original post, its your choice what you think its right and wrong, I think its great that he wants to have a crazy night- I trust him not to do anything that would bother ME (he might do things that would bother you or someone else but whatever, he’s in a relationship with me, not anyone else).. I can’t help how you take the things other people discuss.
Post # 14
@Confused_Bee: I don’t blame you. Personally I am very lucky that my fiance is making sure he is in control of the party. But if you feel its disrespectful for them to have stripper or something it’s a valid feeling and you just have to tell your fiance. I am sure he wouldn’t want to start out his marriage bad.
Edit: Now that I see what your main point is I just want to say, I find it completely inconsiderate and rude for any of you gals to start a thread saying “I don’t care if my fiance goes to a strip club or has a stripper, or has an open relationship etc etc” when there are a ton of girls who do care and are worried since they are trying to enter into a monogomous union.
Don’t women see that by acting like doing whatever is fine and other women shouldn’t care has made a culture of people who objectify each other. Don’t expect me to feel fine about it. It’s like you have validated that behaviour and men start to think all women should accept disrespect. It completely baffles me as to why women don’t support each other? That’s my opinion I agree with the OP.
Post # 15
@kingytobe:I’ve read both threads. Although, I didn’t think your thread was offensive, I do see how some could find it offensive. That’s the problem with the internet, lack of “tone.”
As lots of people have told me, explain to your fiance how you feel about bachelor parties and strippers. If you feel uncomfortable, then he should respect your feelings about that. Everyone has different feelings and emotions towards things. Just because people disagree with you, doesn’t make you a bad FI.
Post # 16
Why? because I trust him and personally don’t think any of it is cheating.
That statement implies that women who do care don’t trust their fiancés. I trust my FI and I think it is very rude and offensive to imply that I don’t trust him simply because I don’t want some other women rubbing her lady bits on my future husband.
@Dsquared: Thank you!