Post # 1
Interesting scenario…We’ve been talking about getting married for months/even have a general timeline for the wedding (Fall 2013/Spring 2014). He says he considers us engaged “spiritually” and talks about “how he can’t wait to make his best friend his wife,” and refers to me as his “soon-to-be fiancee”. He is just saving up for the ring that I want, which I admit, is kind of pricey. But, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is going to propose with the ring within the next 8 months or so..So what does this make us? Still boyfriend/girlfriend obviously???
It’s sooo confusing and frustrating to “be engaged spiritually, yet not really engaged”! And I know he cannot quite afford the ring yet, but if we were shooting for Fall 2013, I’d obviously need to get started planning the wedding..I graduate in May of 2014, and he knows I won’t live with him before marriage so that puts us on a really weird timeline. Does anyone have any thoughts/insight for me? (And yes, I know on The Knot I’d probably get yelled at ten millions of times over for this post lol)
Post # 3
To answer your first question, yes, that makes you BF/GF. He sounds like he wants to propose with a ring, so you’re not going to be engaged in his eyes until he’s able to do just that.
If you aren’t engaged yet, you shouldn’t have a set timeline for the wedding date. You don’t know what your budget/guest list will be or what venues will be available and within your budget.
Also, I have no idea what “spiritually engaged” means. Did you ask him? Sounds like he’s just giving you something to keep you pacified until he can afford the ring to propose the way he wants to.
Don’t rush things. Don’t plan your wedding before he proposes to you. Why do you want to get married Fall 2013/Spring 2014 if you don’t graduate until May 2014? Wedding planning can be stressful, and I wouldn’t have wanted to take that on while still in school, much less so if I was so close to graduating.
And, honestly, you wouldn’t get “yelled at” on TK for this post. You’d get various opinions. Most would be insightful and helpful, but probably not want you were hoping to hear. 🙂
Post # 4
tbh i’m pretty much in the same position, i know that my SO wants to be with me forever and he wants uss to get married in the next couple of years but he doesn’t want to be officially engaged without a ring, even tho I said I wouldn’t mind but at the end of the day he wants to do it properly and ask my dad and all of that stuff and I admire him for that, and I just think to myself that this man wants to be with me forever and altho it may take a while for uss to be able to get a ring or get married it will be worth the wait so I don’t worry about it, you just got to think you will get there in the end :] and you know he wants the same things as you :]
Post # 5
as long as you know he shares your thoughts on engagement and marriage, it has to make your waiting period happier. hope it happens sooner rather than later! 🙂
Post # 6
this is a strange position to be in.. but maybe consider yourselves bf/gf until a proposal for this reason only: 8 months will FLY by.. it always does, so saving the title of FIANCE and ENGAGED couple for the proposal will make things so much more exciting when it happens. I know it feels like 8 months is forever but its not! You can do it! You have us!
Post # 7
@Seashells7: “you shouldn’t have a set timeline for the wedding date.” +1 but guilty of it myself.
Yeah They’re still our Boyfriends. It sucks but thats what it is. They are still getting their ducks in a row. So use this time to get YOUR ducks in a row too. It’s really no rush (I am telling myself this as well at the moment)
Post # 8
@LovinMyLife82: Thanks for your response! I am definitely open to hearing other opinions and am not just looking for confirmation of what I want to hear. I have just seen a few snarky, sarcastic posts on The Knot NYE board before..That’s all I meant! It seems like some of the Bees are a bit more supportive/open-minded! I graduate in May of 2013, so he is basically proposing before I graduate with the ring and everything. Of course, we are still technically b/f and g/f before then, but it really is so nice to be on the same page and to hear that he wants to marry me as badly as I want to marry him! So it made me happy that he said that. I know he definitely considers me more than just a dating partner but more of a life parter, and I feel the same way about him!
And trust me– we have no “set” timeline at all. He is in the military, so things can change in the blink of an eye! Ideally, we just know/have talked about shooting for next Fall/early Spring 2014..We are paying for it ourselves so that’s around the time we’ll have the money for the wedding. Does all of that make sense? Please tell me if it sounds crazy..Like I said, very open to all opinions :]
@MissLittleChicken: very true! That’s so exciting that your SO wants to do it “right” as well! That is what we are waiting on too!
@linssi: Ahh! I hope it happens sooner rather than later too. (For BOTH of us) :]
@Seashells7: haha very true! I am hoping these 8 months will fly by..As he says, we’ll look back on this in just a “blink of an eye.” I’m trying to enjoy these last few months as his girlfriend, because I know it’s the only time we’ll ever be “just dating” again.
@Sapphire-Dreamer: Haha absolutely agreed! I am finishing up my education and working to get my ducks in a row as well. I guess it just gets hard to wait sometimes..But, as they say, patience really is a virtue!!
Thanks again for all of the feedback and responses! I love all of the support here on the Bee.