Post # 1
I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way…
I don’t talk about my wedding plans (not even on FB – the only thing I did was change from ‘In a Relationship with Mr. NDL’ to Engaged to Mr. NDL’), but I’ll gladly answer wedding-related questions when asked. However, when I explain my vision, it seems like everyone is questioning EVERYTHING I’m doing. They don’t like my theme (It’s an Edgar Allan Poe/Raven theme), they think I need more colors (my colors are ivory and black), they think my sister needs to wear a dress just because she’s a bridesmaid (she’s gay and would never wear a dress – she owns almost entirely men’s clothing) – the list goes on and on.
I know people mean well, but I’m sick of hearing about how I should do such and such differently… especially since I’ve worked for an event planner and I know how to plan a wedding. How did you deal with it?
Post # 3
The one and just about only thing that really drove me crazy was everyone questioning my decisions right before the wedding. I think at one point I said something to the effect of “Well it’s my decision to make, I’m not going to change it, and I could sit here and spend 20 minutes explaining to you why I made that decision but that doesn’t seem like a very good use of time now does it.”
Post # 4
We do a lot ourselves. We don’t really ask for anyone’s feedback…other than the bee and it’s usually technical questions.
We’re having a dia de los muertos themed wedding, but not even a typical colorful dia wedding, we’re having black and white with lime green accents.
Not everyone will get it, but we’ll give em a good time and they love us so I’m sure they’ll forget that we had skulls and just remember that they got a free hotel room 🙂
Post # 5
@futuremrsndl: I have been having a similar issue because FI have no money and are trying to plan on a tiny budget for 120 people. Everyone has an opinion of what they think a wedding should be, or what theme or colors they prefer (but no one wants to help pay! jk jk lol). But seriously, just do your own thing.
Take advice from people that have honest advice, not just opinions. It is a day for you and your future husband, try not to let anyone ruin that for you :). Best of luck!
Post # 6
@icetea: That sounds amazing – I love your theme. I’m actually having Dia De Los Muertos skulls on my sweetheart table just because I can. 🙂
Post # 7
@Erinsmiles: I know what you mean… I even had a groomsman tell me “If this was my wedding, I’d change the color of the ties and have different flowers for the boutonnieres.” I wanted to scream “Well, it’s not your wedding, now is it?” Haha
Post # 8
Some people just talk before thinking. Over facebook: ignore them. In real life: smile, thank them for their advice, and ignore it.
Post # 9
If that’s the case, I’d just smile and tell them you want the wedding to be a surprise and they can wait until the big day to see what you have planned. It doesn’t sound like most people want to be helpful but just want to stir up drama.
Post # 10
When it comes to a wedding everyone is an expert. I’d do whatever you wanted. And I told my girls to wear whatever too, because I have one BM that I’ve never seen wear a dress. And I wouldn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable just because they have to stand next to me on the day I get married. Do your thing girl! The only ones who need to be happy on the day are you and your FI.
Post # 11
Oh ya…everyone seems to have an opinion when it comes to weddings and what I’ve realized is just go with what you and your FI want…at the end of the day its YOU (and FI of course…) that need to be happy and who cares what anyne else thinks. You CANNOT please everyone so don’t even try to. I’ just make sure to stress the point that this is what we want and its what makes us happy. Sometimes I just want to scream in their faces to go plan their own wedding! Ugh have you had issues with the future inlaws? My future MIL has not approved of a single thing we have chosen….literally not a single thing. Its so frustrating but i just tell myself that at the end of the day as long as im married to my FI then it all worked out…Keep your chin up and don’t let them get to you!!
Post # 12
You are not doing anything wrong. You and your SO are having a uniquely themed wedding. They are just not able to broaden their minds and see your vision for the wedding.
Forget what they say about your sister needing to wear a dress. Most dresses for bridesmaids are ill fitting and uncomfortable. Why put her through the stress of wearing a dress when it is not her style?
Bottom line…. It is your wedding, you need to have it the style that is right for you.
Post # 13
@futuremrsndl: you could tell me your theme and ideas and stuff and I wouldn’t care. why? Not my theme, ideas and stuff. Do what you want, and ignore those people!!
Post # 14
People are going to offer their unwanted opinions on anything you do and I’ve had my fair share of people telling me I’m wrong or that I should so something. I’ve gotten really good at telling people that I appreciate the advice but what FH and I are doing is working for us.
This is your and FH’s wedding, not anyone else’s. Your sister does not have to wear a dress, you do not need more colors and your theme is fine. None of those things are wrong. I know it’s frustrating, but just ignore it.