Weddingbee boards

Weddings bring out the best and worst out of people.  I just can't believe how some people want to make things about themselves.  Last time I checked, when a couple gets engaged, this is THEIR wedding, to be done their way.  They're the ones exchanging vows up at the altar.  Its extremely frustrating when people feel that they should be able to dictate small details about your wedding.

FI and I have been enjoying this whole wedding planning process.  We do everything together and mutually decide on everything.  But his family seems to have a problem with certain things and feel that we should change aspects of our wedding because they are not in agreement.  Are we supposed to change things we have our heart set on JUST because people don't like our decision?  I mean, I've helped my sister plan her wedding and even my best friend.  NEVER have I expected them to change anything about their wedding because I didn't like it.  I mean I just don't get it!

This past weekend I went dress shopping with my flower girl's mom (FI's cousin's girlfriend).  I had explained to her we'd be looking for a red dress to match our colors.  She wasn't crazy about the idea and insisted on a white dress.  She felt her daughter was "too dark" to be in a red dress (as if white wouldn't make her look so dark?)  She went behind my back and got FI's family (mom, and sisters) involved and they ended showing up at the store trying to gang up on me to change my mind.  Well it didn't work, matter of fact, it kinda backfired on them.  THe flowergirl's mom finally agreed with me and said she'd buy any dress I wanted.  But apparently prior to this, she had sent them a picture message showing them a dress that I supposedly wanted to put her daughter in.  Mind you, there was NEVER a dress.  She completely made that up to get them to side with her saying "please help me, look what's she's trying to put my daugher in".  She took a pic of a random dress before I had even arrived at the store.

 I left the store and ended the night in an upset mood.  Esp because FSIL decided to voice her opinion to me knowing we don't even get along.  She never says hi or bye to me but chooses to speak to me only when it's on a negative note.  That completely rubbed me off the wrong way.  She told me when she showed up that she didn't agree with my decision and that the little girl wouldn't look good in red.  I responded saying, yes she will b/c that's what she's going to wear.  She tried to keep it going but I simply let her know I wasn't changing my mind.  She got upset and left.  again, no bye lol

Well anyway yesterday she basically had the nerve to tell my FI that I was only worried about the little girl (flower girl) stealing my shine at the wedding and that was the reason I didn't want her in white. What the???  Who says that?!  He got mad and after some more rude comments were said he told her he no longer wanted her in the wedding since she obviously didn't like me.  Meanwhile, his whole family got mad at ME for not giving in to them and for being upset they all got involved in this.  THen she starts sending me texts messages basically saying that I was inconsiderate and I had bad taste and blah blah blah.  I simply told her, she had no business getting involved in this matter.  Not her wedding, not her decision.  Apparantely she feels that the parents should chose and pick the dress their daughter wears to our wedding (mind you they have AWFUL taste).  I told her we were paying for the dress, so we'd pick the dress, and if the parents like it we'd order it.  I never intended to buy something they hated,

All this over a flower girl dress.  I was accused of trying to make their daughter look tacky and "ghetto".  I hadn't even seen a dress I liked yet I was being accused of this.  Doesn't make any sense to me!  FI and I had found a dress we really loved and sent her a picture of it.  She texted back saying she absolutely loved it and how she felt bad that all this was caused because of her.  Yup it sure was!  His whole family is against us, saying we're inconsiderate and we should apologize.  Unbelievealbe.  I can't even believe all this.  They want us to feel bad for all of them, beacause they butt in in what didn't concern them....a flowergirl dress.  FI and his mother aren't speaking, neither are he and his sister.  THey are mad at him/us.  All becuase they felt we were trying to make the little girl look bad but not putting her in white.

For the record, this is the dress we wanted for her.  Now, do we really have tacky taste?  SMH

I'll just say well I just decided we don't need a flower girl. All that trouble is not worth it in my opinion.

Thank you!  Yes both FI and I called off work today and literally have been in bed all day.  So upsetting that they would make us feel so crappy.  LIke we're complete fools.  For the record, they felt stupid when they seen this dress.  But no one will "man up" and admit they were wrong for the wrongful accusations and mean comments.  They have really managed to make this part of the planning a very unpleasant one :(

Wow! I think that's pretty nervy of FI's cousin to decide what her daughter is going to wear in YOUR wedding. I totally agree that it's YOUR decision... they should have no say in what YOUR flower girl is wearing, regardless if it's her daughter or not. I'm sorry this has caused such a problem with FI's family. It's getting close to your wedding and everyone should just be happy and at peace! Not on each other's nerves. I hope things work out and everyone makes peace.

@stranger1: yes completely ridiculous.  Like I told FI, i'd rather them fight us over something big, or even something that really was something worth the drama.  But a flower girl dress?  really?

@Mochacoca: Trust me, I'd love to say that but the FG's father is our best man and his closest cousin.  That'll just create more drama we'd rather avoid.  But he did tell his mother that if someone didn't like how we were doing things, they didn't have to be in the wedding.

Oh and get this, his cousin, the father of the little girl had called me asking if this was a "hoochy" dress I was trying to get his daughter to wear? Who even uses that word?  lol  I was blown away and told him I'm offended he'd even ask me that.  But apparantly his GF was saying these things to people

oh you poor thing!!! i completely feel you on the family butting in. my mother has been doing the same thing as of late and i got into a huge ordeal with her over BM dresses. honestly, i've found the best way to handle family members that stick their nose in your business is doing exactly what you did -- staying firm in your decision and not backing down! eventually they learn that they can't throw a temper tantrum to get their way and ultimately, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what they think. it's what you two want! hang in there, and btw, that dress is ADORABLE!! i hadn't even considered a colored flowergirl dress and your post has actually inspired me to take a look at them :)

@MissHoneyBun: Seriously, we love this dress!  I would def. wear something like this myself!  and it matches perfectly with our theme and colors!  So on a brighter note, i'm happy I found "the dress"

@Miss Wallaroo: Thank you!  And I'm glad some inspiration came out of all this. 

I just can't get over them thinking they had the right to choose the dress.  They wanted her in all white, even though it wouldn't go with our wedding colors or theme.  I felt like they wanted her to be a mini bride.  ugh.