I had a small bridezilla moment

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
30284 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@pandaroo:  Aww honey, hugs! I promise you I have feelings like this even now, years after our wedding, so I don’t think it’s necessarily exclusively a bride thing. 🙂 it’s hard to spend all this time on anything, to have someone’s first reaction be a negative one! I hate those moments.

Post # 4
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think it’s great that you’ve got the support of his Step mom, I’d say use that to your advantage. If his real mom is acting so disengaged, ignore her for sure. She’ll get the point and eventually will come around. If not, have an awesome time at your wedding and let her sit in a corner like a sourpuss!

Post # 5
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly take a step back and get some perspective. From what you said about her, She sounds scatterbrain and clueless rather then being maliscious or trying to bait you in some way,

Also remember this gem that is often repeated over and over o the bee, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR WEDDING AS MUCH AS YOU DO! It’s just STD and unless someone is wedding obessed, no one is going to go gaga over the detils. Also most people get excited the closer the wedding comes, and the more it becomes real to them.

Take a deep breath, and vent on the bee, and then really try to pick your battles. If she already on your nerves then I think it’s a good thing that she not be invovled heavily in the planning.

Post # 6
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@pandaroo:  Don’t let FMIL stress you out!  You are getting what is important by marrying your FI.  


Post # 7
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Eh, no one was really excited about our Save the Dates either, but I sort of figured that would be the case (because really – who cares? Everyone has their own lives, I know that)

Some friends/family did call us about them – to tell us that we spelled their names wrong, or that they didn’t understand the invitation (no, it’s not an invite!), or to ask why they didn’t get one when so-and-so did.

So I think you shouldn’t worry about it too much. People just don’t get how much work goes into these things (which also means that you should always decide whether putting extra elbow grease into a certain wedding thing evens out in your happiness vs. stress ratio)

If anything, I think you should limit your discussions with FMIL about the wedding, since it seems to upset you so much.
And I know you know this, but don’t expect gifts from anyone. I find it easiet to assume everyone will give me exactly $0, and if I get something I will be thrilled every time. When people start to talk to me about wedding gifts, I change the subject. None of their beeswax, and it’s not mine either (until I need to write thank-you notes)!  🙂

Good luck!

Post # 8
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@butterflywings:  That’s such a good attitude! 

I would have a really hard time not being super annoyed by the comments about not being able to afford a present when she just spend bajils on that other wedding. Make me a mixed tape, lady, or bring me a potted plant! but don’t guilt trip me about getting married. 

And your FMIL had trouble opening an envelope? Is that correct? I have no words.

What does your FI say?

Post # 9
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Lol I only heard from 3 out of the 75 people I sent STDs to.  No one said one thing to me.  I admit I was a little disappointed because I thought they were so cool, but it’s water under the bridge I suppose.  

Post # 10
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@prahajess:  I have to have a good attitude!  My FMIL is the most snide, fake bitch I have ever met, and it helps me remember that I’m winning in the end!!!


LOL, so much for good attitude!  

Post # 12
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@pengoala:  +1


Hang in there. It definitely sucks to have people act that way. Focus your energies on the people that are positive and on what makes you happy. You can’t control your FMIL’s reactions but you can try to control how much you let them get to you (it’s hard to do, I know!). 

Its her loss that she’s acting this way.

Post # 13
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’m 47 and many of my children’s friends are getting married so I guess I am in the MIL age range. I wouldn’t take it personally. You have to understand we don’t really know what to do with these STDs. I’ve been married twice and they weren’t a “thing” back then. I’ve gotten a few of them and think “Oh, how cute!” but as far as responding or whatever, I do not know if it’s appropriate to do so…I prefer to wait until I get the formal invitation. They’re really nice (although I have gotten some that are not well done) but IMO not necessary. So if it is an expense you do not want to have or something you feel you need to cut corners on, I don’t see why people don’t just skip it. We old folks don’t know what they’re for anyway! Don’t take it as a sign that people are not thrilled for you. It’s just matter of new etiquette.

Post # 14
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@pandaroo:  This may or may not make you feel better, but we had a lot of negativity around our STD’s as well. One of our pics we laid with our heads together, so many people bitched because they couldn’t look at it without turning the STD, which was complete bullcrap. One of the pics we both agreed on was a great pic of us, but it showed my face, and most of his family was like, “Oh, this is a nice pic of YOU, Megz.” I just got a really shitty grin and said, “It really is, isn’t it?”

I tend to try to make light of situations like that because you can’t please everyone and someone will always try to rain on your parade. I didn’t have enough room on the invite to put “Reception and dance to follow” so I just put “Reception to follow” considering everyone knew we were having a dance, and his aunt goes, “I was confused by your invite. Is there no dance?” I said, “Yes, there is.” She said, “Oh it wasn’t on there. Perhaps you should have put it on there since now people aren’t going to know.” I said, “Well, when they are done eating, and everyone elose is dancing they should get the hint pretty fast.”

Post # 15
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014


I said, “Well, when they are done eating, and everyone elose is dancing they should get the hint pretty fast.”

Hilarious. Good thinking on your feet!!


Post # 16
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

OP merging families is not an easy proposition. But please keep things in perspective. It’s a STD and not the formal invite. Most people outside of the “bridal” mind don’t even know what they are half the time. Even me, if I get a STD I’m like “OKAY”. What am I supposed to do, call up the couple? Great, I’ll hold the date (or not) in my calendar. Am I supposed to rave about the design or something? 

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