Post # 1
I feel bad for my SO. He sems to have set out an impossible task for himself:
TO SURPRISE LULUME WITH ENGAGEMENT
And so I had sent him a text saying exact that. His response: I know 🙁 LOL
So i decided to help the guy.
I told him that because it’s been a while already that I have been in this “waiting room” that my antenas are up and on highest frequency LOL That becasue we are sooo much alike, I will know “the moment” before he knows “the moment”.
It will be difficult to surprise me at a dinner, walk with a dog etc… I will think of this any second that seams like “the moment”.
I told him that he managed to surpise me before and I don’t doubt that he is more than capable of it now, but wanted to let him know that I knew of everythign that was going on yesterday and if he wants i can continue to make him believe that I don’t know anything etc… but i know that’s not what he wants.
So I told him the trick is for him to appear somewhere where I don’t think he could be or catch me at a moment that I am so zoned into something else that it is impossible for me to think of “the moment”.
He was laughing through all the texts and at the end thanked me for pointers and said: I just need to step up my game 🙂
So yeah. I want it to be a surprise too. And i try my hardest to not notice things but he has been really bad with it and not really hiding them well LOL
So i had to help the guy 🙂
Post # 3
My guy told me he has been actively Googling proposal ideas. I feel like I want to help, because I already know it’s coming, but I think I’m just going to let it ride.
Post # 4
@Lulume: Oh this is so me and my SO too! There is just no way he is going to surprise me at this point. I finish half his sentences because I know him so well. I just hope I can keep my pokerface on and pretend to be surprised when the time comes 🙂 I wish your SO lots of luck in stepping up his game!
Post # 5
My FI wasn’t going to surprise no matter what he did. Every time he thought he was being clever, he only managed to give it away more. So instead of telling him I knew what was going on, I just let him plan it. I knew the exact date and location of the proposal. I even knew he got me the next day off from work. But I never let on that I had figured the whole thing out. He proposed and felt amazing about it.
Sometimes you just have to pretend you have no idea what’s going on! Not sure that it would work for you, but it was easier for me that way.
Post # 6
Surely now you’ve told him how to surprise you it won’t be a surprise?
Post # 7
@Sibiohan: No I don’t think so. See, I don’t think he knew that my antenas are up all day about it.
We talk about everything and can’t lie to eachother. We even say the same sentances at the same time. It’s just us.
I have no doubt that he will manage just fine. I want him too because i know it’s important for him. I know he would feel tricked if i knew and was hiding it from him and “letting” him think he surprised me. He wants it to be honest.
Post # 8
Hey, I was completely suprised by mine and it wasnt extravagant or anything. And, I am IMPOSSIBLE to suprise, and he managed to do it, all by himself – which I think made him the most proud. Give him the benefit of the doubt!
I do, however, think it’s a bit “much” to give him help/ideas. Let him do it how he wants to, not how you want. This is his thing t take care of.
Post # 9
@kariface: For sure I totally agree with you. It is his show of how and when. And I didn’t tell him that. But I don’t want to be faking a surprise either and I know if he will do somethign out of the ordinary I might just have to mour conversation on this topic wasn’t a harsh one by all means and it’s all in good fun and as I do know him best, he really did appreaciated this.
See we work together and live together and couples tend to get comfortable. The kinda of person he is and the kind I am …. such pointers work for us not just in this department. We both have been married before too and are in mid 30’s.
Knowing my SO and loving him dearly, I didn’t step out of our comfort zone and didn’t offend him, made him feel pressured as one mey think.
Post # 10
@Lulume: Ok, I don’t want this to seem harsh but I can’t think of any other way to phase it. Since you know he has a ring and you know he is going to propose how much of it is really going to be a ‘surprise’ anyway? And since the two of you are clearly in tune you’ll probably know the instant he decides to propose anyway, even if he does just randomly turn up while you are at work and drop to one knee – you’ll know the instant he turns up that he is going to propose, you see what I mean?
I understand wanting a romantic proposal, or waiting for the right moment so it’ll be special and something you can talk about in years to come – but I just don’t see how he is going to pull off the surprise aspect of it when you know its coming and you’ve even said yourself that you are on alert for it. I just don’t want to see another ‘disappointed with my proposal’ story because you have set such high expectations of being surprised. I’m sure your proposal will be beautiful and meaningful even if it doesn’t make you gasp when he pulls out the ring box.
ETA: Props to him if he pulls it off through!
Post # 11
@Sibiohan: I get where youre coming from and I am sorry if in my post I mey seam to want some elaborate engagement LOL
Actually I am the one that just wants him to do it in the most simple way ever. I don’t need the surprise but I know it’s important to him. I don’t need a proposal story because that is not important to me but it’s important to him and he told me this many many times. That’s why at the beginning I wrote that “he gave himself an impossible task”.
All this time he knows that I would be happy with a ring pop from a gum ball machine. We are very much in love, and very much commited to eachother already. He is the one to go above and beyond all. He wants it to be perfect and special. Every moment is already special to me.
Post # 12
@Lulume: My SO wants 100% control of the proposal he says…but he hasn’t started saving for a ring yet (*cringe* granted, he has 2 other financial things higher on the totem pole, but Get Dreamer a Ring is #3!). I know it is tough though. But I know he wants to do it. I know it because of the way he acted when we were watching HIMYM last week when Barney popped the question to Quin (hate that character & Season Premier tonight, btw) and my SO kinda went off and asked if I was going to plan every moment. I didn’t even say anything! I didn’t even Look at him when it happened! I SWEAR! I told him it was his show and that whatever he did i would love. “Just make sure I look pretty!” I had to toss in. Hey, a girl has to know when to get her nails done!
But needless to say, his strong reaction affirmed to me his commitment to me and moving our relationship to the next level.