(Closed) I had to say something to help the guy

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My guy told me he has been actively Googling proposal ideas. I feel like I want to help, because I already know it’s coming, but I think I’m just going to let it ride.

Post # 4
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

@Lulume:  Oh this is so me and my SO too! There is just no way he is going to surprise me at this point. I finish half his sentences because I know him so well. I just hope I can keep my pokerface on and pretend to be surprised when the time comes ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish your SO lots of luck in stepping up his game! 

Post # 5
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My FI wasn’t going to surprise no matter what he did. Every time he thought he was being clever, he only managed to give it away more. So instead of telling him I knew what was going on, I just let him plan it. I knew the exact date and location of the proposal. I even knew he got me the next day off from work. But I never let on that I had figured the whole thing out. He proposed and felt amazing about it. 

Sometimes you just have to pretend you have no idea what’s going on! Not sure that it would work for you, but it was easier for me that way. 

Post # 6
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Surely now you’ve told him how to surprise you it won’t be a surprise?

Post # 8
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hey, I was completely suprised by mine and it wasnt extravagant or anything. And, I am IMPOSSIBLE to suprise, and he managed to do it, all by himself – which I think made him the most proud. Give him the benefit of the doubt! 

 

I do, however, think it’s a  bit “much” to give him help/ideas. Let him do it how he wants to, not how you want. This is his thing t take care of. 

Post # 10
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lulume:  Ok, I don’t want this to seem harsh but I can’t think of any other way to phase it. Since you know he has a ring and you know he is going to propose how much of it is really going to be a ‘surprise’ anyway? And since the two of you are clearly in tune you’ll probably know the instant he decides to propose anyway, even if he does just randomly turn up while you are at work and drop to one knee – you’ll know the instant he turns up that he is going to propose, you see what I mean?

I understand wanting a romantic proposal, or waiting for the right moment so it’ll be special and something you can talk about in years to come – but I just don’t see how he is going to pull off the surprise aspect of it when you know its coming and you’ve even said yourself that you are on alert for it. I just don’t want to see another ‘disappointed with my proposal’ story because you have set such high expectations of being surprised. I’m sure your proposal will be beautiful and meaningful even if it doesn’t make you gasp when he pulls out the ring box.

ETA: Props to him if he pulls it off through!

Post # 12
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Lulume:  My SO wants 100% control of the proposal he says…but he hasn’t started saving for a ring yet (*cringe* granted, he has 2 other financial things higher on the totem pole, but Get Dreamer a Ring is #3!). I know it is tough though. But I know he wants to do it. I know it because of the way he acted when we were watching HIMYM last week when Barney popped the question to Quin (hate that character & Season Premier tonight, btw) and my SO kinda went off and asked if I was going to plan every moment. I didn’t even say anything! I didn’t even Look at him when it happened! I SWEAR! I told him it was his show and that whatever he did i would love. “Just make sure I look pretty!” I had to toss in. Hey, a girl has to know when to get her nails done! 

But needless to say, his strong reaction affirmed to me his commitment to me and moving our relationship to the next level.

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