- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
I’m excited about having a boy in May, but my only issue is that I don’t know what to name it. I had a great girl name all picked out, but have never liked any boy names enough to form a preference for one name over another. I am super picky, and I own that I’m creating my own problem with my pickiness.
I want a name to be meaningful, and I prefer simple, classic family names. However, the family names on my side are all taken by my 4 brothers (or my future daughter), and the family names on my husband’s side are kind of monopolized by his brother, because he’s the third of his name, so he has ‘dibs’ on the names of his grandfather and father for his own son someday.
My husband likes 2 family names from his side that I don’t like. I would be ok with either of them for a middle name, but I don’t like them as the name that I’d be yelling for the kid to come to dinner. I just think they’re too weird and unusual, too soap-opera in feel. Part of this might be cultural, as I consider myself Midwestern and my husband is Southern–he may be used to more variation in male names than I am. Also, one of them is like a last name from way back that is DH’s middle name, so I feel like there’s no emotional tie to it really, and the other is DH’s father’s name (he went by his middle name). Sadly, I never had the chance to meet his father as he passed away before I met DH. Maybe I’d feel differently about the name if I’d known the man.
If a name can’t be meaningful because of who it comes from, I would like a name that has a cool literal meaning that would fit our child and our dreams for him. However, it seems like almost all classic, non-outlandish boy names have meanings that are kind of dominating and patriarchal, like “home ruler” and “little prince.” That wouldn’t bother me if the name were chosen to honor a special man in our lives, but if I’m just choosing the name because I like the sound, I don’t want to dislike its literal meaning. I talked with my husband about what literal meanings we would like for a name, and I said “wise” or “scholar” and he said “explorer.” When I searched for those meanings in a baby name website, all the names were disgusting.
On a side note, why aren’t there any male versions of traditionally female names? There are a lot more ladies in both our families that I’d like to name a child after than men. But unless a woman has a name that’s already a female version of a male name, it’s impossible to do cross-gender naming-after in that direction. But feminizing a male name is much more common.
I am an English major and English teacher and part of that was reading a lot of poetry, so I pay attention to the way words and names sound, so I came up with some rules for the way I want the name to sound, mostly based on our last name and the limitations I think it imposes on us. Our last name is one syllable, starting with a hard C / K sound, with a soft vowel A. So:
1. No one syllable names, or names with one syllable nicknames.
2. No names that start or end with a hard C / K sound.
3. I’d prefer to avoid too much A assonance. Like one soft A sound might be ok, but not 2.
Those rules count out a lot of names. The 2 names that my husband likes are excluded by them, as are the names in my family, including my brothers’, father’s and grandfather’s names.
I don’t know what I want. A list of names from commenters wouldn’t really help because I am sure to hate every single one. DH and I have played this game for hours, him suggesting names and me shooting down every single one. When I read posts on the bee about baby names my reaction to 99% of the names is ‘ew.’
I want the name to be something that adds to my excitement about the baby. I want to be in love with my baby’s name and think about how I can’t wait to call the baby by it. I am so frustrated right now that I really don’t see how that can ever happen. I think waiting to pick the name until the baby is here and I meet him and see what ‘fits’ him would just cause even more stress. I think if I know the name ahead of time and can call him by it and make plans using it before he’s born, it will help me to have an emotional connection with the baby, which will help me to get through the hard last few months of pregnancy and the birth.