Post # 1
In high school I did nothing. I sat there and kept my mouth shut so nobody bothered me. I figured college would be different, that I could be friendly and make friends quickly and not be so lonely all the time. Obviously I can’t change overnight.
My roommate is nice when she’s around but she’s out most of the time with all of her friends. I wish I could just thrown on a mini skirt and have as much fun as they do.
My classes are stressful. All of them. The professors use words and phrases to describe programs I’ve never heard of before and they just expect us to KNOW it all.
What’s really getting to me, though, is the cost of school. All summer long I begged and begged my parents to let me go to school. They bit their lips. They didn’t want me to. They said it was going to cost them to much but I kept insisting. They relented and I was happy because I was getting what I thought I wanted.
But here I am, sitting in a miserably hot $1600 dorm room with a $10 internet cord and an $1800 meal plan for food I don’t even eat. I’m about to go to another class where I’ll be required to shell out at least another hundred for another course book.
Honestly I wish I could just go back in time and listen to my parents. It would be easier that way.
My best friends is my mom and I can’t tell her how I feel, she’s the one who wanted me to take a year off in the first place.
Any advice or encouraging words would help turn my day around, thanks!
Post # 3
I completely understand your position.
Though in the UK its different (we take out interest free loans for tuition and living costs) I completely resented paying a penny for a thoroughly unfulfilling degree course. I too didn’t engage with campus events or societies and hated my classes and pretentious professors.
However, there needs to be an executive decision re:flight or fight. Weigh up what you want from life and whether college will help you get there. If you don’t know yet, maybe try and defer a year and take some time to work in an interesting industry so you can have the perspective of life in the unskilled working world?
i took a year before I went to uni to see what I wanted, and after a year in retail I knew I couldn’t face a life of mundane work. University hasn’t in retrospect helped me get a great job, but I used my spare time to get internships and find a field I wanted to work in, which is what I’m working towards. If you think it is because of the college you’re at, consider transferring?
if the money side of things is getting to you, finish out your contract in your current living space and next year move home if possible or into a cheaper private apartment and live thriftily on a tit budget. Get a job to supplement your tuition so you arent leaving the whole burden to your parents.
the best thing to do is try and realistically weigh yourself up; do you see yourself sticking this out, do you see any benefit from progressing in your course, do you realistically think you will graduate? Go and see a guidance counsellor and discuss any feelings you have S well!
Post # 4
I regret nearly every moment and definitely every penny of my education. Waste of time and especially a huge waste of cash. It got me absolutely no where and in fact I would have been more successful if I stuck the course with what I was doing then (and again now) instead of sacrificing it in order to prioritize school.
Unlike you, I had/have a ton of pressure to get a degree and my family still isn’t happy and never will be, until I get one – nevermind I make more money and am in a better place than my siblings and cousins who did go that route. They’re all brainwashed into thinking university = success.
I honestly think that these days especially, higher education is a great legal modern day scam. And the icing on the cake is now, since the universities don’t prepare its students for working in their field of study in the first place, they’re also having to take unpaid internships for years at a time so they can “gain experience”….which brings me to scam number 2! lol
That’s not to say it’s all bad and I certainly recognize that many professions require a university degree, but in your situation – do you really need it to get yourself where you want to go? Are there other out of the box ways of achieving your goals?
Post # 5
It’ll get better! I had an amazing college experience from the start, so I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, but my sister and a lot of friends from high school really, really hated their first semesters. One of my roommates freshman year was thiiiiis close to transferring to a school closer to home because she hated it, too.
I PROMISE that despite how overwhelming things seem right now, they won’t seem that way in a month or two. You will get used to classes..that was a big change for me, too. You will get used to living in a dorm. You will not just get used to these things, but you will learn to love and appreciate them.
Honestly, my freshman year was one of the best years of my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Meeting new people is HARD, I know it is. I am pretty introverted and shy when I first meet people, so trust me, I know, but just remember that almost everyone there is in the same boat. Join a club or an activity. Go to parties. Make an effort to hang out with your roommate and her friends.
I know it seems tough right now, but seriously, you will LOVE college as soon as you get used to it.
In terms of cost, I don’t have as much advice. Work hard. Seek out extra scholarships. I didn’t get much merit award going into college, but I worked my butt off freshman year and the university ended up giving me almost 20K more going into my sophomore year. Look into your school’s policies and see if they incentivize scholarships like mine did. College IS crazy expensive, but for me, the experience of living hundreds of miles away from home was absolutely worth it. It forced me to be independent in a way that I never would have been if I had stayed at home or gone to college nearby.
Good luck – I promise you will not just get through your first semester, but that you’ll miss school like crazy when you go home for Thanksgiving or Winter Break!
Post # 6
Can you live not in the dorms? Like a cheap apartment by yourself? I hated living with roommates.
What’s your major? Or are you just in your gen ed classes?
Post # 7
What classes are you taking?
Why aren’t you eating the food?
What sport are you playing?
What clubs are you in?
I have to go…but I will be back with sage advice I’m sure. =)
Post # 8
i think you would have always wondered if you didnt go to school what you were missing out on, what life would be like etc, but now that your there you realise maybe its not for you.
you had to go down that road to find out, but now that you have – you should re evaluate what you want in life. if studying isnt going to get you what you want then why bother- i would leave and save money and time. HEAPS of successful people dont have a degree etc.
Post # 9
4 year, dorm life traditional college is not for everyone and the sad truth is that bachelor degrees mean less and less than they did 20 years ago. The cost of going to 4 year college outweighs the benefits of possessing a bachelor degree. My SIL recently completed her 4 year degree. Right after that she got married & pregnant 4 months after her wedding. Now she’s a SAHM to her 2 year old daughter stuck in an apartment that her and her husband don’t like because they cant afford to move out because her student loan is $800/month. She told me last time I was visiting that she wishes she could sell her degree back to the college and be free of this never ending debt.
I don’t mean to sound horrible and like a total debby downer over here but I think it’s something people of our generation need to hear that our parents don’t always tell us because things were different 20 years ago. A Bachelor’s degree doesn’t hold the same weight it used to. Unless you have a career in mind that requires a 4 year degree (such as a Teacher) then I would say: Don’t get trapped in this mindset that you HAVE to go to tradtional college to be sucessful!
Have you considered enrolling in a vocation/techincal school? I WISH WISH WISH WISH that my parents and HS teachers had encouraged me to enroll in a vocational college right out of HS. 2 year program get’s you a job as a dentist assistant. 4 year program get’s you a job a nurse. There are LOTS of programs out there for MUCH cheaper than tradtional college. You may even have the option of living at home (that will save you the meal plan costs and the dorm costs and the heart ache of not fitting in with party-hardy mini skirt wearing college kids)
Honestly, IMHO its not worth it. You should evaluate what you want out of your life and pursue that.
Post # 10
Post # 11
Is this your first week of college? I know that classes just started in a lot of places. Give yourself a couple of months to get adjusted. I promise it will get better.
Post # 12
@vorpalette: Freshman are required to live in the dorms AND have a meal plan AND pay for things like recycling fees and radio fees. BLAH.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Pear85: Join an organization or two and consider changing majors to something you are actually interested in studying. Most of my friends in college who hated it were enrolled in majors to make their parents happy or make lots of money (i.e. pre-law, pre-med, IT, etc…)
I Loved college but I joined a sorority the first year and participated in everything from homecoming to Dance Marathon to Greek Week. I also didn’t declare a major until my second year after I had taken some classes to get an idea of my strengths and interests.
The more time and energy you put into being on campus and making friends, the more you will get out of college. If after a year of really trying to be active on campus you are still miserable, take Gap year like the Bee from the UK recommended.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands
I hate college too, but there’s no way I could get hired as a teacher without the four year degree (it’ll be tough even with the degree) so I’ve been sticking it out and I’m graduating in May.
I second whoever recommended finding different living arrangements. Campus life isn’t for everyone. Getting a part-time job can help too. Even if it doesn’t pay the greatest, it can be a stress relief if you really like it.
Post # 15
@peachacid: A lot of general classes but I’m majoring in history.
I’m a picky eater and honestly only need one big meal a day and perhaps small snacks in between.
Not a sports player.
Clubs haven’t started yet and I’m not really sure they’re something I could fit into.
Post # 16
I’m guessing you just started university? -hugs- The first month or two is really hard for everyone.
I loved college, and even I was kind of depressed the first month or so. My advice, try to make friends with people in your major. You will be around them the most and it is so much better to have a friend you can study with when you need it.
In my opinion, college is all about what you make of it. If you find something you really really like and pursue it with all your might, I think college can be an enjoyable experience. But if you just kind of float around with no real direction, then yeah, it can be miserable.
I agree with some others here that college is not always the answer, but I don’t believe that it’s just a scam to just get money out of you. I would never be where I am in life without the amazing support and education I had from my university.