Post # 1
ugh. so my hubby and I both really want a baby pretty much now. our wedding is 5 weeks away and we WERE planning on TTC immediately after – and i’ve been off the pill now for 2 months…(we’ve been using other means).
well we were talking tonight – and while both of us REALLY want to try immediately, we have also both decided and understand that we have debt we need to pay off first before having a baby…so the baby-making plans are being put off til the end of the year. Granted – I know in the scheme of things that’s not a long time (really around christmas time) but ugh. 🙁
the GOOD news is – literally two days after our wedding will be my first promotion’s paycheck – which is going to be such a huge difference that well – let’s just say we will be able to pay off our $12,000 debt (calculating out with the new promotion) by May of next year instead of May of 2013 which is how it would be with the amount we are paying now…
but our biggest concern is childcare…our groomsman and his wife just had a baby and my hubby and he were talking childcare and how they’re paying about $160/WEEK right now – which yes I know it could be even worse…but that’s close to $640 / MONTH which is MORE than what our mortgage is!!! (yes, we’re blessed with a very low mortgage)
and there’s no question, both of us HAVE to work – and even if it was one of us – it’d be him to quit – as I make quite a bit more than he does and i’m the one with the insurance and all the benefits…but we need his income as well.
but yeah – i posted this on the babies board because we so want one now – but damnit, we have to be responsible and do what we need to do to make sure we DON’T have one for a while…btw, he’s going to be 37 in 3 weeks and I will be turning 31 come August…
anyone else decide to wait even though you’re both ready now?
Post # 3
I hear you. Good for you for not letting “baby fever” cloud your judgment. You are making a responsible choice. I am 31 and TTC now, but I think at our age, we have plenty of time!
Post # 4
i know…it’s SO hard not to just say “ah screw it, we’ll figure it out!!!!” 😀
but nope – we really need to wait. once my promotion comes through – we are literally taking everything extra and THROWING it at our debt…i do NOT want to have ANY CC debt when our first comes along. 🙂
yeah – again – i know it’s the responsible decision…but it’s also sooo hard when EVERYONE we know is getting pregnant and/or having babies…
i’m NOT a patient person! lol.
Post # 5
Kudos for making a responsible decision! It really sucks, but you have to be able to put a roof over your head and actually feed your family, and you’re right, in the big scheme of things, a few more months is not bad. And debt is never a good thing hanging over your head, so yay for knocking that off the list!
Post # 6
You’re smart to think logically instead of emotionally! There shouldn’t be any rush, its so much better to raise a child when the other aspects of your life are stable. You’ll be so happy you paid off your debt before you decided to have a child. We’re in the same exact boat (minus the mortgage so you’re doing much better than us so far!), it totally blows but its well worth it in the end!
Post # 7
I wish more people think like you guys! Children DO suffer when adults struggle for money. Less quilified people are watching your children and they usually are watching more kids than they should. Education suffers. ETC..ETC…and the biggest one is that parents argue because of financial strain.
So Kudos to you and your husband. Doing the right thing is always the hardest. But, the rewards are endless!
Post # 8
thanks guys. i KNOW it’s the right decision – but part of me just keeps singing over and over in my head the song from Willy Wonka – Veruca Salt…”don’t care how – i want it now!!!!” lol
believe me – again, we KNOW it’s the right decision – and what helps is me thinking to a co-worker who has 3 babies and ONLY he works (his wife is stay at home) and they are in sooooo much debt and trouble with money and honest to god can NOT afford the 3 kids they have (and it pisses me off to look at him and know the decisions he makes)…and unfortunately when I worked in the department he is still in – he was very vocal about all his problems so i knew WAY too much about his personal life. lol. but he makes less than I do now – and WE’RE struggling with BOTH mine and my husband’s current salaries (again, will be much more after july)…but it just irritates the heck out of me to see people who “have” to have a family NOW instead of waiting (yes i know that’s ironic as i’m complaining about not being patient myself…lol). in fact – when he announced to everyone that she was pregnant for the 3rd time – no joke – you could hear crickets in the background – the silence was deafening. NO congrats or anything because EVERYONE knew it was a horrible idea.
and yes – believe me, i know this isn’t like deciding to go and get a new puppy or some inatimate object…which again is why we’re making the hard decision TO wait.
we’ve talked over most of everything that we need to – but now is the “well we need to figure out daycare”…and i know we need to do that before even getting pregnant…
I guess, too – it’s like “c’mon!!! i’m 30 years old!! when’s it gonna be MY turn?”
but again – i look at those younger than us who have NO money and i also know i will spoil my babies rotten and WANT to be able to buy them things whenever – as well as money for US “whenever” too… :p
so yeah. anyways. i just hate waiting. why can’t it be next june already? lol
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay
You are making a very responsible choice to get your debt paid off! Good for you 🙂 You will not regret it – as you will be financially stable once it is paid off & you and your family can live comfortably & stress free!
Post # 10
a baby is a great motivator to do the “financial shape up” Once you get your debt paid off, you can keep putting that same amount into savings for all the baby costs, and you will be in great shape!
Is there anything you can cut out of your curent expenses, even temporarily? For example, my hubby and I decided to do netflix instead of cable. It is WAY cheaper, even if you just do that for a few months…and we have the cheapest home calling plan that’s like $10 a month (you can only make 20 outgoing local calls, but we are at work most of the time anyway, and can use unlimited night/weekend cell minutes otherwise…)
Our goal was to pay off my student loans before the baby was born, but we’ve given up on that, bc the interest is SO low, and I got pregnant the first month of trying! Instead, we are doing some needed remodels BEFORE baby comes and building up a NICE nest egg…it’s amazing how fast it is growing, but it’s also amazing how much $ we spend on “baby stuff” (even w/ getting some used and hand-me-down).
Post # 11
Good for you. We are waiting also. After the wedding next spring we are looking to relocate to another city and buy a house. The taxes and housing prices are more reasonable there and we will be in great financial shape if we do this. Then we want to wait another year until we get settled into our new city. It’s hard to wait, but I know it will be worth it in the long run. Especially when I see my friend who had a couple kids without planning and how much financial difficulty they are in- just because they decided to “see what happens.”
Post # 12
What a responsible future parent you are being! I totally agree about having a baby being a huge financial motivator. I bet you can shape up your finances in a way that allows you to have a baby in your life sooner than you think!
Best of luck 🙂
Post # 13
That motivator will be great 🙂 Whether it’s a baby or something else it always comes in handy for us. Hubby will mention something he ‘wants’ and I’ll shoot back with “Colorado” (regarding a vacation we are saving for) or something similar which pretty much says we’ve set our priorities and all our decisions need to revolved around that. What’s more important – going to a concert – or going to Colorado 🙂
You will have a much more peaceful and enjoyable pregnancy if you aren’t stressing about debt/money.
Now I also agree that ‘waiting til you’re ready’ could be a line that would lead you to NEVER being ready. And ‘ready’ looks different for each couple. But it sounds like you have good solid goals to achieve – and you are pushing hard to meet those. Which is smart smart smart. Your baby is already so blessed!
Post # 13
Kudos to you for being so responsible! If only more parents were as thoughtful as you were being! Like you, I have baby fever now, but we are trying to be responsible and we want to still get a few things accomplished before we bring a baby into our lives. It’s hard, but it will be worth it in the end and you’ll be able to have a less stressful pregnancy!
Post # 14
It was nice to read this, because we have had the same discussion. FH is in EMT school now and won’t be done for about a year and a half, and then he’ll need to get an EMT job before we can even think about having kids. We came to this realization the other night. I am chomping at the bit to have kids because I don’t want to have trouble TTC.
Post # 15
We’re going thru the same thing! I went off the pill a month ago right after our honeymoon, as we wanted to ttc right away. But then we decided (just like you) that we want to pay down credit cards and save more first. We’re not actively trying or not trying, so I could get pregnant anytime, but we decided to NOT try during ovulation too much either. Guess we’ll see what happens.
Smart decision you two made! 🙂