- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
OK, so maybe not the whole state. Just the school district on Oahu. I apologize in advance for this lengthy post. I’m just so upset right now and need to get this out there.
When I dreamed about getting married, I always assumed that some way, somehow my family – at the very least my immediate family – would be there. When FI and I first became engaged, we worked so hard to pick a date that was as convenient as possible for both our immediate families. We knew having a weekday wedding would be a challenge for some, but we asked for as much input as possible from our respective parents and siblings so we could make sure they could all come. Up until a few weeks ago, my whole family was going to be there. (One of FI’s brothers can’t come because he coaches football at the high school and they released the season’s schedule right after we announced our date. It starts the week of our wedding…which sucks.)
A few weeks ago, my sister – who teaches on Oahu as part of one those ‘Teach for America’ type programs – asked if I would be upset if she didn’t stay for the whole reception. She learned she would have to be back to work on Friday. No big deal. I was just glad she would still be there for the ceremony. Then, not too long after, my other sisters reported that she wasn’t going to be able to make it at all.
I finally got a chance to talk to her and confirm her plans. That’s when I learned the school district had switched some things around for the first few days of school. The school year now starts the week of my wedding on TUESDAY?! If she misses the first day of school, she won’t get her sick time for the rest of the year. She might be able to change her ticket (which will costs a few hundred dollars she doesn’t have) but will only be in WI for less than 48 hours. It’s a lot of hassle for her the first week of school, something I had hoped to avoid as much as reasonably possible for everyone.
I thought perhaps if FI would agree to come up to WI a few days earlier than planned, we could get the legal stuff taken care of at the courthouse a few days earlier so my sister could be there to witness that. Then we could have the wedding proper as planned on Thursday. When I broached the subjet, he said he’d have to think about it. Now he’s decided he doesn’t want to do that. He feels like it would make our wedding a sham, not to mention that his eldest brother won’t be there to see us get married at all. He is opposed to the idea of essentially getting married twice, especially since it would be within days of each other. I do understand where he’s coming from, but it breaks my heart that my sister and MOH will most likely not be there to see us get married.
I don’t know what else to do. I have no other ideas. It’s too late to change our wedding date now – we’re just over two months away and invitations have already gone out. I’m not upset at my FI – I sympathize with his feelings on the matter since, under any other circumstance, I would not have even considered getting married at the courthouse AND having a “proper” wedding. Our situation is nothing like others on WB (including friends of mine) for whom such a thing was pretty much necessary. It’s just the situation is so upsetting. Again, so sorry this is so long. I just needed to share my disappointment somewhere so I can (hopefully) stop crying.