Post # 16
When cats pee inside, it is never the cats fault. It means that the humans aren’t giving them basic needs– clean water, some food everyday, and 1-2 litter trays PER cat. Cats also often pee inside when humans choose to declaw them (mutilation). You do not have a cat problem, you have a human problem.
Post # 17
ihatehercats : Between this and your other post why are you engaged to her??
Post # 18
White vinegar and the appropriate detergent will get that smell out, and if you plan to stay, you should invest in another litter box. As PPs have said, she needs to figure out why they’re peeing outside the litter box. It’s not normal at all, and while it may seem like a problem, it’s really the symptom of another problem. Cats are naturally very clean and smart animals. It’s a pain, but this isn’t their fault, and it’s not fair to them to project or blame your dissatisfaction in this relationship on them.
The cats clearly aren’t the problem in your situation. Having read your post about your fiancee and her family, it’s pretty clear you resent them for taking advantage of you financially, for not helping you out in other ways, and for prioritizing the cats over your relationship. These are all valid concerns, and since you’re the one invested in the relationship, and you know her so well, ask yourself if you feel like an equal? Do you feel appreciated for your personality as much as your efforts? Do you feel that she listens to you, and respects your input in daily matters and larger struggles? Do you feel that she’s truly making an effort to change or improve your relationship and living situation together? If nothing ever changed, could you remain happily committed for the rest of your lives? Because if the answer is no, the best course of action would be to move on.
Post # 19
1. Not okay to channel your wrath at the cats. You aren’t angy at the cats. You are angry at your fiance for not taking care of them properly, and for talking about them constantly. Not the cat’s fault, so don’t take it out on them. If it wasn’t them it would be something else.
2. Not normal for cats to pee everywhere. That would drive anyone mad. I don’t blame you for being upset about that. Do they have multiple litter trays that are cleaned every day? If so, they need to see a vet, because there might be a medical problem. This isn’t a normal part of having cats. My cat peed on the floor once when she was a baby and never again.
Post # 20
I think you need to move out and live on your own for awhile. You sound like you need some space.
Post # 21
ihatehercats : This relationship is not for you. Move out. Break up. You’re only 19. You have your whole life ahead of you. Time to move on.
Post # 22
- Wedding: September 2017 - Earth
Please stop channeling your emotional frustration and anger toward those poor cats. I imagine they’re extremely stressed given the environment you’ve described. You definitely have a human problem. Break up, move out, kick them out or whatever you need to do but the cats aren’t to blame in this case.
Post # 23
You are WAY too young to be dealing with this shit. Break off the engagement, move out, start working on having access to your child again. These people are not your responsibility. It is not your job to provide for them or worry about what they will do when you leave.
Post # 24
- Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park
Don’t be mad at the cats, the cats haven’t done anything wrong except be animals. Its up to you and your GF to properly care for them so shit like this doesn’t happen.
So break up with her, or show her this thread and i’m sure she’ll break up with you. Either way. If you continue to make the CHOICE to continue to stay in a shitty relationship, then thats your fault and you’re gonna have to suck it up and deal with it then.
Post # 25
YOU’RE NINETEEN. GET THE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.
Post # 26
This isn’t normal behavior for cats. I’ve had cats a long time. She needs to clean the box twice a day. For two cats there should be two MINIMUM. Certain breeds will not use the box if it’s not clean. She should also take them to the vet for a wellness check. The peeing could mean they have an infection. Cats will pee outside the box if they have a urinary tract infection. This could be dangerous for them. It could be their kidneys.
You can dislike the cats all you want but at least encourage her to care for them properly. I would have taken them to the vet weeks ago.
As for the girlfriend, I mean I don’t know there seems to be deeper issues than the cats. And if you hate her cats and agrees a cat person I don’t see this ending well. You said she’s not working? Then she has time to clean the boxes so it’s not disgusting.
Post # 27
I’ll add, getting out of that house will help your propects of shared custody of your child for two reasons: not only will you be getting out of an unhygenic house, you will be in a much better place financially without 3 people sponging off you. Get your own place (or move back in with your parents), save money, and get issues sorted out so you can see you child.
Unless you’ve done something horrible, there’s no reason why you can’t have shared custody. And if you’ve been told the mother gets to choose, then use some of your saved money to legal advice, because that shouldn’t be the case. Your child should be your first priority, not this car-crash of a relationship.
Post # 28
aussiemum1248 : I do see my every time i get paid time off it just has to be with her mother there
Post # 29
ihatehercats : Why? Why can you only see the child when the mother is there? You’re just as much the child’s parent as she is. Ideally, you each should have 50% custody. There might be practical problems (e.g. if breast feeding is still happening), but that’s what you should be working towards.
I don’t know where you live, but I think legal advice about your options would be good.
(p.s. The “Why” is a rhetorical question. You don’t need to share the details. It’s for to think about, and realise that your current setup isn’t reasonable).
Post # 30
aussiemum1248 : i already lost custody and only have supervised visitation. Im 19 now shes 3 ill just say having a child is not the dumbest thing i was doing at 16 its not really as simple as you may think. Thoughbi tryingbto be abigger part of her life