- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I hate my FI’s best friend! This is going to be a long post!
So my FI has a friend, which now he calls him his best friend (I dont exactly know when that happen because they he wasn’t when we 1st started dating). They’ve been friends for 5ish years, but before that my FI said he hated him.
But anyway I’ll give you some info on this guy so you know what kind of person he is. He constantly lies about everything, even when we point out it’s a lie. He always tries to one up you on everything, and I mean everything. When he and his wife were getting married, he said that they were spending 50K. Now that we’re getting married and told him the budget is 10K, he said their wedding cost 8.
So about a year ago my FI slipped out that his best friend wanted my FI to buy him a hooker for his bachelor’s party (this was about 2 years ago). I was really upset, I hate cheaters! His wife is too good for him, even though she’s kind of a B****. So I kind of disliked him since then. I didn’t tell his wife because I’m not good friends with her, I don’t think I’m a position to tell, I don’t want to get involved, and they just had a baby.
A few of months after that (this is all before we got engaged. He was over our house for dinner and he said “you know how I knew you guys were meant for each other . . .” and he goes on to describe my FI and his ex gf having sex (or whatever he could hear through the walls, they were roommates). We kept saying that it wasn’t me and my FI told him to shut it, but he went on and on. Of course my FI and I got into a fight because of it. I guess I was overreacting because I was hurt and all of my insecurities were let loose. He eventually apologized (months later) and said it was an accident. But how can it be an accident when we told him to stop.
Months after that we got engaged. And my FI and I agreed that if his best friend said anything to hurt me again he would not be invited to the wedding.
Well maybe a month after our engagement, his friend called me up and told me that early in our relationship, my FI was seeing other girls, but it wasn’t that serious because he never brought them home. I cried for hours. I confronted my FI and he said none of it was true, and I believe him because he is an honest person. He was furious with his friend and said that he was going to talk to him.
The next week was my FI’s bday and we went out to the bars. I told him to keep his friend away from me, and he did a great job until he went to the bathroom. His friend sat next to me and started saying this like “he doesn’t love you. He’s not ready to get married, he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with one girl, he wants to sleep with other women and he’s going to. the only reason why he’s marrying you is because I told him to, etc.” I ran out of the bar crying, I ran into my FI on the way out and he chased me down. He was furious. He called up his friend and was arguing on the phone for 20 min, then they ended the phone call laughing and smiling, and all while I was crying hysterically. My FI said he understood why I was upset, but he defended his friend, “oh he just doesn’t think before he talks and he was trying to say out of all the girls I picked you.” How does that even make sense?! [also, his wife wasn’t at the bars with us and he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring]
We had a discussion and I told him that I didnt want his friend to make a speech at our wedding. And he said that he wasn’t going to be the best man, his other best friend (who I like) was going to be it. And that he was just going to be a groomsman. Something I could live with, but I really just want him out of my life forever.
But since then, my FI and I argue all the time over this. He wants me to forgive him so he can be the BM. But I can’t, I’ve already forgiven him x# of times. How many more times will he say hurtful things to me. And I can’t say my vows when that awful person is standing next to my FI and I don’t want him to give a speech. And I don’t know what to do. I’m tired of fighting, but I don’t want to give in.