I hate living with my fiance

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Whose idea was it to move in together?

Post # 4
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@JustAnotherBee:  I dont know why he insists so much alone time. Did you see him often before you moved out together? If he is being like this now how does he expect things to be when you’re married. Sounds like he’s not ready for the commitment it’s not you it’s clearly him. He shouldn’t let u do everything on your own whlie he bums around playing video games, it’s disrespectful to you and if he is like that now he isn’t going to change. You deserve better, he doesn’t sound like he’s as devoted as you are, he just wants you to do everything his mum did for him basically (housework etc) and everything sounds like it’s on his terms… That’s alarm bells right there 

Post # 6
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

@JustAnotherBee:  Wow. Are you sure you can handle this forever? He doesn’t seem into the commitment, and is showing several red flags. I couldn’t handle only spending a couple hours with my SO and him throwing a fit for “alone time”. We both enjoy each other’s company and actually don’t watch much TV (when we do it’s typically a documentary about something we’re both interested in). I’m really sorry. I don’t know what advice to give other than you may want to re-evaluate your relationship and make sure you’re not just together because it’s been a while and is easier than breaking up.

Post # 8
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@JustAnotherBee:  Maybe it is something you both need to discuss in therapy. Because it really does not sound like he is ready to live with you. That doesn’t make him a bad person or mean that he doesn’t love you, it is just the loss of independence can be a big thing to deal with especially if you are older and in a routine.

You both need to decide how you can both live together. It will be about compromise. It would also be good to discuss household chores.

Post # 11
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Does he sufifer depression or some other form of mood disorder? My sister has depression and in her last relationship she didn’t like to be around him all the time and always wanted time out to be alone.. Maybe it’s something like that that he hasn’t told you about?

Post # 13
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@JustAnotherBee:  moving in can be a huge adjustment! He’s being a total jerk but give it 3 months and see if it improves. I can count on one hand the amount of fights my husband and I have had since we met, nearly all of them were in those first 3 months.

Post # 14
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@JustAnotherBee:  I’m not sure it will get better. If he doesn’t want to actively live in the same space as you now, when its all new and exciting then I don’t know if it will ever be how you want it to be

Post # 15
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@JustAnotherBee:  Don’t marry this guy. It won’t get better, he won’t change. 

Post # 16
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@JustAnotherBee:  hi. Sorry to hear your having a crap time of it at the moment. I am the same age as you and just living with my husband over 2 years. My qquestionis what does you fi work at? I work in a very aggressive environment where I am reg verb abused ( I am generally giving bad news).  Often I need some alone time when I get home – cant handle any one talking to me etc and need some potter around calm down time. My husband under stands it. When I had to move home about 4 years ago to save to buy our home my mum could not understand. The second I was in the door she was trying to talk to me- which lead to loads of fights

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