- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
SO didn’t get the job. Which is a bummer because I really wanted him to. Which may have had something to do with his stipulation of having stable employment before proposing. That and he has been driving both of us crazy always being at home for the last 5 months. (Some days I go off to class at 8am and come home at 5pm to find him in the exact same place doing the exact same thing.) But we’re going to be fine even if it takes him another 5 months to find a job. Why? Because he has a degree in finance and even if he can’t get a job in the field he is really good with money. So he has money to live off of and is actually still making money. Which leads me the question I want to just scream at him.
“Dear SO, we are combined living off of $1000 a month. Our bills come to about $825 a month before we factor in food and gas. Since I’m chipping in $500 of that and you the other $500 it seems pretty fair. But you are also making an additional $700 to $1100 a month that you roll over into your investment fund. And yes it is your money. But how on earth does that mean you don’t have the money to buy me an engagement ring?”
Alas I know its because he just doesn’t think short term at all. He hordes money and grows his investment fund and looks forward to the great future we’ll have in 7 years (something about him tuning 35 and having the principal to buy a house and be able to pay the mortgage even if we both lost the professional jobs we don’t even have yet). I almost wonder if I actually need to remind SO that I want to get married. I know there is a “shut up” pact going around but I’m curious if anyone else feels like maybe they need to make mention of engagement more frequently than they do?
For reference, I’ve had two “I want to get married” melt downs about 6 months apart and the last one was about a month ago (and my distress was phrased more in terms of “are you keeping me or what?” than “I would like a ring and a commitment now please.”). Other than that… I’ve just kept my mouth shut unless he said something. Well I haven’t heard much from him recently (like at all in the last 2 months). What do you ladies think? What is the appropriate amount of engagement talk to keep a guy focused but not overwhelm him?