Post # 1
I just got engaged this weekend, I’m a succesful professional with my own condo in New York City, I have a wonderful, supportive family, and I hate my body with such a passion that I can’t enjoy it much.
Backing up- Summer of 2008 I weighed 110 pounds and at 5’4″ was in fighting shape. I wasn’t waiflike or thin, I was solid muscle with little body fat and was so proud of my body. That lasted until I hit around 118 lbs last year- gained some due to a desk job etc., but then, I gained another 10 lbs. I saw photos of myself from our engagement weekend and almost started to cry on the happiest day of my life.
I know I am not overweight, but I am a full 18 pounds heavier than I was when I was happiest. I hired a nutritionist to help me and have been working with her for 24 hours now, I hope it helps. i just need to vent. I dont know how, after all these months of desperately trying, I can possibly lose 18 pounds by next January when I start dress shopping.
Post # 3
You can do it! And I know exactly how you feel as that’s about as much as I gained too. It seems like such a little difference to those who love us or I bet your fiance thinks you’re crazy and thinks you’re beautiful? Great, but it’s about how WE feel about OURSELVES. So I understand. But you CAN do it. Just adding exercise and better nutrition will start to work and you will feel better about yourself. Promise. Pilates has helped for me and I started doing them again only recently. In only a short time you can feel better emotionally and physically.
Post # 4
I find this post very distressing. You are solidly in the middle of the BMI healthy weight range for your height. You can’t possibly be more than a size 6.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be your fittest and healthiest, but there’s nothing healthy about the level of your self-loathing. Honestly, I think a psychologist is as important as a nutrionist for you right now.
Post # 6
I cannot imagine that 18 lbs looks any different to anyone but yourself. I agree with mightywombat, if you feel that bad, then you need to go see a counselor. I have gained a lot of weight over the years, and have had some really bad days. But, I have found that it isn’t entirely my fault, I have thyroid issues that I am thankfully getting help for in a couple of days.
I really can’t imagine that you went up more than 1 dress size, if that. How does your FI feel about this?
Post # 7
I’m sure you can do it Don’t think of it as an 18lb goal, just concentrate on one at a time! I’m sure you look great now, and will be even more fit by the time you go try on dresses.
Post # 8
I respectfully disagree ladies. We all have our ideal weight and 18 lbs may not sound like a lot but it does make a difference if you are used to yourself 18lbs thinner. Before I met DH – flat tummy even when I sat. Now? Those dreaded tummy rolls that were never there before. We all want to feel our personal best.
Now if OP were telling us she was anorexic, I would agree with you both.
Post # 9
@jouissance: Wow, honestly I think over half of the women wished they were only 18 lbs heavier than they are. I agree with PP you may need to seek a counselor on your body image.
Post # 10
@jouissance:I feel for you. I have gained 12 lbs since i graduated college 7 years ago. Granted, that means going from a naturally very skinny 98 to a (possibly) healthier 110, but it still shocks me to step on a scale and see that number. I also feel the extra skin/fat around my belly and love handles and it bothers me to know they weren’t there a few years ago. Also, it scares me to think about what will happen to my body if I continue on this weight gain projection.
All I can say is that I’ve decided to step up my game. I can no longer eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce. Those days are OVER. I’ve started running (c25k) and REALLY eating healthy (not just ‘mostly’ eating healthy). Too soon for any real results, but I definitely feel better about myself.
EDIT: I am not trying to loose weight, I’m trying to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle so I don’t wake up 20 years from now and wonder how i let myself get to that point.
Post # 11
@mightywombat:Perfect response. We all must learn to love our bodies.
Post # 12
OP is short, I don’t know if anyone caught that. I’m 5’11 and 18 additional pounds on me you probably won’t notice. I have a lot of body to distrubute the weight on. However if you are a shorter woman 18 pounds shows up a lot more. I think its perfectly reasonable for her to want to lose the weight.
Food for thought for the OP, I’ve gained a good bit of weight in the 5 years of being with my FI– he loves it! larger breasts and larger hips! I don’t love it but my gosh he does! So think about your FI take on things too! 🙂
Post # 13
I agree with JustSqueeze. I completely understand not being happy with your body from some weight gain, because it is SO different than what you are used to. Even the extra 5 or 6 pounds I’ve gained on my normal 102 pound body look abnormal to me. I am only 5’2. There is no reason she can’t desire to change it.
OP, if you’re really unhappy then I know you can lose it! Just use the wedding as your motivation. And rememeber, he proposed to you at the weight you are now- so he OBVIOUSLY thinks you’re still beautiful!
Post # 14
I am right there with you. Except my wedding is in 8 weeks.
2 years ago I was about 20lbs less than I am right now. I’m 5’8″ and currently ~170 lbs. 2 years ago I was 148 and still wanted to drop another 5-10 lbs.
I HATE how I look in pictures. I went to my first fitting and I felt great when wearing the dress in person, but when I saw the photos all I could see was back fat, arm fat, chubby face, etc.
There is NO way I can lose 20lbs in 2 months. Sometimes is makes me want to cry.
Post # 15
@mightywombat: I should add that I have been in therapy for this in the past and have worked thorugh a lot of it- I did not find psychologists to be helpful.
Post # 16
@KatNYC2011: not to threadjack, but I’ve seen some of your pics on here and you’re BEAUTIFUL! I never notice any of what you mentioned when I see you on here.