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Ok girls, I HATE my e-ring. I wanted it when we had absolutely no money, because I just wanted to get engaged SOOO bad!
But after months and months of wearing it, I don't like it. People don't even know it's an engagement ring! People compliment me on it and ask if it's an antique or a family ring...
Also, it is impossible to find a wedding band to fit it unless it is custom made.
What should I do? I'm thinking of getting a CZ wedding set or a Diamonique until we can afford something else...how do I break this to FI? Good or bad idea?
myring.jpg (5.2 KB, 1,680 downloads) 1 year old 
I actually like your ring and think a simple band would look great with it or a thin band with diamonds.
I am so sorry you feel this way.
The good part is, you wanted to get engaged and you are. :)
I am not in the same boat because I love my e-ring, however just like you, nothing would fit with it unless I had it custom made. I knew it when we bought the ring, and just figured that I'd wear it on my right hand when we get married and wear the band on my left hand.
So, maybe you could do that?
For us, it turned out that when we went to choose the wedding ring, we narrowed it down to 3 choices: 1 e-ring that I would wear on my left hand as a wedding ring(we loved it!), 1 semi-eternity chanet set, or a completely different wedding set (we found one that wasn't too expensive).
My DH really preferred the look of the wedding set, even if the plan from the beginning was to have only one ring on each hand, so he went for the set.
I guess it's a long story for saying: wear your e-ring until the wedding, then change it on your right hand and pick a wedding ring that you love! And when you look at the e-ring later, you'll remember that when you were young and got it, it was more important to you to be engaged to your man than to wait for a more expensive jewel that you could not afford - smart decision!
I like your ring too. And I agree with Soon2beeMrsM, I think it would look great with a thin plain band or one diamonds. Have you tried seeing how it looks with the contoured bands? One or two of those would look nice too.
@egb: I agree. Move the e-ring to the right hand and pick out a wedding ring you really love to wear on the left
Well, the other issue is he gave me a left hand ring as a promise ring, and it is gorgeous, so I wear that at all times as well.
Sorry to complicate things more, but I would love to wear my promise ring. It's a beautiful garnet.
Would you be able to wear a wedding band with the promise ring?
It could always be explained by the fact that the e-ring would need a custumized band and that way, you get to wear them all.
OR maybe have your promise ring resized a little bit bigger to wear on another finger?
@mrsv2be: Wow... ur e-ring looks similar to Jennifer Hudson's!!
Neil Lane created this platinum engagement ring for the singer/actress that includes a 5-carat diamond as the center stone.
@egb: I had a jeweler tell me it's more difficult to size up a ring, than size down because you're thinning the metal of the band.
No one thinks my sapphire ring is an engagement ring because it's not a diamond... oh, well. it's on the important finger, and that's what matters most!!!
If it really bothers you, talk to your FI about it and see what he says. Maybe you could have it reset to where it's something you like better. That could, possibly, be cheaper than buying a new one, if cost is an issue.
Your ring is beautiful, absolutely gorgeous! You don't even HAVE to get a wedding band. I've heard of people forgoing it if they have a very intricate ring. It sounds like you're letting other people's opinions influence your own, but if you love it, don't let their comments get to you.
I know what you mean about just wanting to get engaged. I felt the same way and told FI that I didn't care the size of the ring and I would actually prefer non-diamond because of the whloe conflict diamond thing; I knew he didn't have a lot to spend on a ring. I'm older and don't want to have so many health problems for me or the baby when we try for kids so that's why I didn't want to wait anymore. So he proposed and I admit I was a little disappointed in the size/style and that it was indeed a diamond, but I know he put a lot of thought and time into picking out the right ring (within his budget) and that means more to me than anything else. It has grown on me and the wedding band I chose compliments it really well. Plus I know he would be really hurt if I told him I didn't like it, and I couldn't do that to him.
I'm confused, on what finger do you wear your promise ring?
Can you buy a wedding band that you love and then just not wear the e-ring with it? Then you'll be wearing a wedding band you love, a promise ring you love, and you can just put on the e-ring whenever you feel like it. It doesn't seem worth it to buy another placeholder e-ring.
I really like your ring but would you be able to wear it as a right hand ring and wear the promise ring with a wedding band?
I love your ring. But it's not mine, so that doesn't matter. If you hate it so much, why did you pick it out? And isn't a (real) small diamond better than a CZ?
My ring is exactly like yours except with one center stone, and I had no trouble finding a wedding band to fit with it.
You picked the ring and told your FI that what you really wanted was him and this was the ring to get you. And he did. I think replacing it is a bad idea. You need to find a suggestion in this thread that you like that invovles keeping the ring you have in some way, and find a way to make it work.Otherwise you risk at the least hurting his feelings, and at the worst really upsetting him.
I also agree that other people's opinions are influencing you too much here. Remember that this is the ring he proposed to you with. That he loves you, and wants you, and this ring is a symbol of that.
i kind of went through the same thing, and it isn't going to be easy. (my fiance and i looked at rings and i said i wanted a specific one and he didn't listen to me.) i say you need to be honest, especially if it is bugging you so much. i just couldn't take it anymore so i told my fiance. he was really upset but he did understand and eventually it all worked out.
I really think that you're going to offend him by wanting to upgrade your ring so soon. You have money now, but why couldn't you have waited to get engaged until now to get a nicer ring? But you wanted to get engaged earlier, so you got the smaller cluster ring, and you even picked it out! I think there is a tradeoff there that you have to realize. You also said previously that you are unemployed, and I do not know your financial status, but maybe the best thing would be to save that money for now, and in the future get a nice wedding band.
Yours is very similiar to mine (but I love mine!) Personally, I like rings that are unique and different and not the typical e-type ring. But since I also have a halo, I cannot get a band to wear with it (and I don't like the look of the custom bands either) so I will wear my band on the other hand or alternate it with the e-ring. If you don't like your e-ring (which I think is gorgeous) then wear your band alone in its place.
I think it's a bad idea to change it. You got what you really wanted, which was to be engaged... And from what I understand, you still cannot afford something different. Your ring is beautiful, and I'm not just saying that. When I saw the picture, I immediately thought it was lovely and wondered how anyone could mistake it for anything but an engagement ring.
Maybe instead of upgrading now, pick out a band that you really love and after you get married, wear that on its own (and your e-ring on the right hand). Then for your 5 year anniversary, suggest "upgrading" your e-ring to something that will work with your wedding band.
I went to a jewelry store that was going out of business and got a wedding band that I loved on super discount.
I don't wear my engagment ring at all. Not that I don't love it, but it's too big, it's not white gold and scuffs my wedding band. So I just wear the band. It's 1ct, has 12 princess diamonds in a channel setting, it's plenty sparkly, and very bridal.
That's my recommendation. You don't have to throw the old ring away, it's still sentimental to you, but once you are married, you don't have to wear it either. Since you wedding is coming up soon, that's the route I would take.
We are going to wait until we have more money, then go back and get a ring that I love to go with my wedding band.
I like your ring a lot! My two suggestions are:
1. Get a jeweler to replace the cluster center with a CZ or white saffire or something and
2. Wear it on your right hand and get a simple wedding band that you love.
Regardless, I think you have a beautiful ring! :) I personally would keep it the way it is and switch it to my right hand if I couldn't find a band that worked. :)
What if you just changed the center to a bigger stone and didnt get a wedding band. No one says you HAVE to have a wedding band.
Your ring looks fine to me. It's so unique. Having said that, if you're not happy with it maybe you can upgrade over the next few years. Won't you miss it though? I mean, whatever ring you end up getting, it won't really be your engagement ring.
All that matters is how YOU feel about the ring. Not us. So don't listen to posters who say that you're being unappreciative for wanting to change it. I say as long as you and your FI are ok with the idea of a new ring, then go for it! It's just a thing at the end of the day. What matters most is your love and commitment to each other. Plus, the wedding band is the more symbolic of the two rings you will wear.
Keep us updated and let us know what you decide!
I think your ring looks like an engagement ring, especially if you are wearing it on your wedding ring finger. Do you really hate it? Or are you just frustrated by people's comments (because that is what it sounds like to me)? Really, it is just a ring. To me, it should not be about the money and what you can afford, but about what the ring symbolizes. Maybe some day you can change the center cluster to a stone, perhaps as an anniversary gift. If I were in your situation and told my FI that I didn't like my ring, I know that would crush him. Changing my ring just to get the approval of others is something I would never do, and especially never when there is a risk of hurting FI's feelings.
@blue eyes lover: Wow. You need to review WB's policy on personal attacks and snarkiness. That was really unnecessary to phrase it like that. If you think so poorly of OP, why would you care enough to reply to her thread?
I don't think there's anything wrong with upgrading an e-ring. But, as PP have said, it's a little soon when you're not exactly in a much better financial situation than you were before, from what it sounds like. I think you should get a wedding band that you love and not worry about it matching your ring, since you plan on getting a new one at some point. BTW, people making comments about it looking "antique" or like a "family ring" doesn't really imply that they don't also think it's your engagement ring, IMO! I wouldn't worry about that aspect. I've had people ask me if I'm married just from wearing an inexpensive silver band on my ring finger.
I think you got what you wanted so you should deal with what you have... for now. Maybe upgrade the ring some time down the road for an anniversary when he can afford it?
Also, w/ today's rings, many ladies have to have a custom wedding band made so its not such a biggie IMO.
Ok guys, I understand the concern about me not having a job. I do have some savings and did get a job yesterday, and FI just got a nice bonus. He is about to go back to school though, so we would need to be thrifty.
Also, I never said I wanted to upgrade, just get something that looked like an engagement ring, even if it was CZ.
Really I did love my ring...the first blow was my mom telling me it looked like sh**. I've been broken hearted and angry ever since.
@mrsv2be: That was really mean of your mom to say. Did you tell her you loved it? It shouldn't matter what she or anyone else thinks if YOU love it. It's your ring on your finger not theirs; don't let their rude comments get to you. And maybe some of them are complimenting you by saying that it doesn't look like an engagement ring. I personally like unique rings so I would respond back, "Thank you; that's why I love it!"
What was it about the ring that you first loved?
But who cares what your mom, or anyone else thinks about your ring? That is the ring that your fiance proposed with, and it most people would consider it a symbol of his devotion and commitment to you. Maybe you are not as sentimental as I am, but I can't imagine wanting to replace the ring that my fiance presented to me as he asked me to be his wife, especially for a throwaway diamonique or CZ ring.
Lots of women have "alternative" style engagement rings, and just because your mom doesn't like it or thinks it looks like an engagement ring, doesn't mean you should toss it to the side.
Then again, if you view it as just a hunk of metal on your finger, then go for it. I bet Khol's has some passable CZs.
@mrsv2be:I'm so sorry your mom made such an insensitive comment and I understand how angry and hurt it must make you feel. I also understand that comments like this can make you doubt. BUT you did say you loved the ring at first, and how thrilled you are of being engaged. Don't let your mom's comment put you down.
I really like your ring for what it's worth. And, being the sentimental that I am, I could never consider wearing another one instead of it because this is the one he put on my finger.
Find a wedding band that you'll love, whether it's to wear with the e-ring, with the promise ring or by itself.
Oh and by the way; my mom didn't go as far as saying my ring looks like shit. BUT she came with me to shop for wedding bands and many of the rings I liked were not bridal enough to her taste. Oh well, good thing we were not shopping for a ring for her, but for ME.
You are the one who wears the ring, so it should look good to you, no matter what others may think.
@mrsv2be: I'm so sorry your mom said that. How mean and insensitive! Could it be that you're allowing her opinion to influence your opinion of the ring? It's on your finger, not hers, so if that's the case, just try not to pay her any attention.
i wish i could have a ring lke that. but i do understand that not liing your ring could be a big problem. I'm really scatred ofwhat my SO will buy unless i can convince him to go ring shopping. your mum needs to get a life if she can't support you in this situation
get a wedding band you love and don't wear the engagement ring all the time. I know a lot of people who only wear their engagement rings on special occasions; I probably won't wear mine on a daily basis (I work in a lab and take latex gloves on and off all day and the ring gets caught in everything). When you guys are in a more financially stable period, you can talk about getting an anniversary ring that you love.
maybe you could wear it as a promise ring until
you can get the one you really want
my ering looks like white gold but its not
and it was fairly cheap maybe you could go with a different metal
but still keep diamond(s) on it
i hope this helps you
I hated my first e-ring. It wasn't anything that I wanted, but everything FI wanted.
We had a discussion about it and decided to look. We set a budget and I found a ring I loved a simple solitare lab created emerald for under $100. I did compromise and there are small inlayed diamonds on my wedding band. But my entire set cost less then what we budgeted for my e-ring.
Now, no one thinks it's an e-ring, but I don't care. People think what they want. The ring is about you two a couple. You should both be happy with it.
I'd talk to him about it. My FI was really understanding. We couldn't find a band to match my old e-ring either. While we looked at having one custom made, we couldn't find a jeweler to make what I wanted. (They all like to use natural emeralds)
@mrsv2be What about getting your promise ring made into an engagement ring and then putting this ring on your right hand?
Wow, this is a really old post. I think I was just generally P.O.'ed at this time...it wasn't fair to him. The truth is I picked this ring, and whether it's a cracker jack prize or a Tiffany, it is mine and I love it. I was just being a spoiled baby. Alot of my friends were getting engaged with MUCH bigger rings and I was being jealous.
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