Post # 1
Before baby was born I honestly didn’t give much thought to what we’d call the grandparents, I assumed it would be grandma and grandpa but DH’s parents wanted to be called mama and papa. When she was born I realized that I had a HUGE problem with the mama thing because I kept referring to myself as mama. So I made a very direct but polite ask to my MIL saying, “I’d prefer you call yourself something else because it naturally happens that I want to call myself mama to her and I don’t want us both to have the same title.” she seemed to get it and we left it at that.
Wrong. Apparently this created a huge drama discussion within the inlaws (We learned about it from our SIL). Since “I won’t let” MIL call herself mama, she felt the need to create a new name for herself and now wants to be referred to as “nan-ma” – a combination of nana and mama, the problem with that is I think it’s stupid and everyone seems to have a hard time remembering thats what she wants to be called so it comes out as grandma and then she gets mad…even if she is the one that called herself grandma…she thinks it would just be easier on everyone if she was “allowed” to call herself mama. I suggested “maw-maw” so it was a little different but that’s what she called her grandma so she wouldn’t have it. Even DH has tried to talk some sense into her but he had his own battle with the papa thing (he’s always called his dad papa so he thinks it’s weird too that his dad wants our baby to call him the same thing).
I’m trying to just get over this one especially considering the drama it’s already created but this has been going on since baby was born (she’s 7 months) it literally makes my skin crawl when I hear nan-ma. I really hope when baby starts talking she just invents something new or calls them by their first names. Any other name suggestions or do I just need to suck it up and call the women nan-ma considering I don’t want her to be called mama?
Post # 2
Ok, when I read the title of this thread I thought “oh relax, let them go with whatever silly grandparent name they want.” But then I read the post. Your IL’s are bat shit crazy and want PARENT names. Aaaaahhh!
Unless you are leaving the baby with your ILs for childcare, you actually have total control over this. The baby will learn what to call them from you. You could teach him to call your MIL “cray-cray” if you wanted. So Nan-Ma will be Nana if that’s what he hears (you point to photos in the house and say Nana enough, the baby will learn). And PaPa is a dad’s name. Maybe PopPop? PawPaw?
Post # 3
Why can’t she just go with Nana? Mama for a grandmother is ridiculous to me, maybe in some other families/cultures it’s the norm but I would not want my kids calling their grandmother mama when they call ME mama!! My sister’s MIL is called Mamma, I don’t know how to express that phonetically – it’s like mam with the a sound like the word man, and ma, like mah. She had already been called that before my sister knew her so she didn’t have much choice but she’s never complianed about it. My MIL is called Mimi and that was in place long before I knew her as well but I like it just fine. FIL is Grumpy which is hilarious, and my parents are Grammie and Grampa. Our parents are all divorced so there are SO’s too but they don’t get special names. The only one that is remarried is FIL and SMIL is just called by her name.
So just for ideas since you asked, the women in my family are called Mimi, Grammie, Nana, Mia (because my cousins couldn’t say gramma when they were little and it came out Mia)
Post # 4
Why not Nanna? That’s what I call my grandmother. Just a thought.
Post # 5
cora_123: My sister and I have called my grandmother “nanma” always – I have NEVER seen anyone else come up with that name! We actually pronounced it like “na-ma” with a silent n (who knows why?). We actually called our grandparents nanma and poppa, so this post is kind of ironic to me. Bottom line is, your kid will probably call them whatever she wants. I think being called those names are normal, since thats what I called mine!
Post # 6
cora_123: I can relate. I wanted my MIL to be called Grandma, just like my mom. But she insisted on mimi because her other grandchildren call her that. I wouldn’t have had an issue with if mimi wasn’t a nickname for her name as well….so it kind of bothers me, but for now our daughter can’t really talk but I would rather both of our mothers be called grandma.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
I can’t believe your in-laws are really so butthurt about this haha. It’s one thing to be bummed at first, but it’s completely another to pout any time someone isn’t referencing “Nan-Ma.”. I personally don’t think it’s that bad, but I agree with the PP about calling the grandparents what you would mostly prefer & your child will likely follow suit. Good luck!
Post # 8
Oh I forgot about the grandpa’s name, Papa is actually a grandpa’s name in my circle, we would not call dad’s papa but I know this is quite common. So yeah pop pop, paw paw, grampa, buppa, bumpa, grampie, gramps, old man.. lol
Post # 9
Wow! That is absolutely nuts.. I thought they were just going to be asking for weird names NOT parent names!
Luckily you can have your child call them whatever you call them! Heck my FI couldn’t pronounce grandpa when he was a kid so HE invented a new name and now everyone says that new name instead of grandpa!
Im sorry you have to deal with the stress though, it’s so unnecessary and ridiculous of them!
Post # 10
Sometimes grandparent names dont work out as planned – growing up my grandparents changed names a few times. My moms mom was already grandma ( i was the 5th grandchild in that family ) but my dads mom AND stepmom also wanted grandma so they went with Grandma Jane and Grandma Suzie – Grandma Jane changed her grandma name to “Grammy” after being called Grandpa Jane, Grandma Joe and Grandma Suzie by my sister and I ^^
I almost think letting her go w/ mama and letting things work themselves out naturally could be an option – if your baby calls you mama then it would be sort of weird for her to call grandma mama too – and if mama was too confusing for her grandbaby then your mother in law would have to choose a new name. If this is a hot topic now then that approach might not work.
Could grandmama be an option?
Post # 11
I called my grandfather Papa, so maybe that’s why I don’t see that as too bad, but MAMA? Definitely not ok.
Honestly, half the time, grandparents get called whatever the first grandchild comes up with. My aunt wanted to be Nana or Grammy when her first granddaughter was born. That granddaughter started calling her Nani (Nah-knee), and it stuck. Now she has 9 grandchildren, and she’s Nani to all of them.
Post # 12
lmao, this is so werid and something i can see my MIL doing. i plan on having both grandparents being called grandma and grandpa, and when we aren’t with them they will be Grandma X and Grandma Y. that’s what my family did and what DH’s family did with their grandparents, so i hope we won’t have much resistance.
Post # 13
I completely agree with KitKat – Unless they have alone time with your child he will learn to call them whatever you do around your house. On the way to their house you can say “we are going to nana and pop’s” or whatever. (That just happens to be what my ILs want to be called.) And I agree with the pointing at pictures and saying whatever names you selected. They aren’t going to be able to correct an adorable baby 🙂
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2015 - The Landmark
What about G-ma and G-pa? My grandparents where supposed to be something like that.
Post # 15
She doesn’t like nana – she doesn’t like any name that isn’t mama. I think the only reason I don’t like nan-ma is because I feel like she is trying to be difficult with it. If it was easy for her to call herself that I would be fine with it but she keeps “messing up” and will either call herself grandma or mama. Glad to know I’m not crazy to think she’s crazy for wanting to be called mama.
The papa thing is awkward because DH and his brothers call his dad papa – as in they do not use the word dad, he is papa – so his dad wants his grandbaby to call him the same thing as his children.