- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Before i get bashed for being shallow… hear me out.
I hate obesity for what it has made and is making my gorgeous wonderful husband to be become.
My man has always been on the larger side of life. I dont care about that… He was big when i met him and I fell in love with him for his personality and his caring ways. Over the past few years though.. his weight has ballooned. It is not from the food I cook at home as I always try to make sure we have a high portion of vegies, limit salts, sugars etc. Yes I am a little overweight myself, but my wieght is going down gradually after having our second baby last year.
My Man you see loves food. LOVES it. Especially all the foods that well…. make you fat.
He is a sucker for those high energy drinks, fried foods, anything with bacon, breads, burgers, toasted sandwiches (the naughty ones) chocolate, nibbly foods, chips and Beer. He loaths fruit and i have to literally put vegies in front of him to eat or he just wont eat them.. unless they are fried or in some sort of takeaway food… like pizza.
Getting back to what im saying is, I feel like his poor food choices has not only made him obese.. but morbidly obese. He now snores so loudly and hard that i find it very hard to sleep next to him. He is also starting to have apneas because of his size. On top of this, he farts and burps consantly.. he never did this when he was not obese. It is gorss. Its like he has no control of it. Because he is so big when he farts it sounds like he is going to s@!t himself. Sorry if its TMI but its true. He now also has red angry stretch marks all around his belly which are open and sore from his growth. He never had this before. Also, because he is so big He is getting to the point where he cant wipe himself properly anymore and I am getting really tired of seeing stained jocks when doing the wash.
On top of this, I am finding him less physically attractive. Dont get me wrong, I am trying, but he is not what he used to be. A once nicely shaped bottom now more resembles something that is disproportioned and has the texture of a mutant cauliflower on each side. Sex is getting harder because of his size some positions just dont happen anymore and he gets puffed out really quick and now will only have sex with the lights off. Some nights i pretend im asleep so i dont have to. Its just easier it seems for the both of us. He doesnt feel embarassed, and I dont feel dissapointed. Its really sad and I hate it.
I hate the fact that his obesity stops him from being a dad to his kids. He refuses to take them to a park, the beach, the pool, shops, footy, anywhere in case he is judged for being the fat dad and having people look at him. Whats more is that when he does go out and about he doesnt join in. but gets in a bad mood because he tires easily and wants to go home. Its like he has no patience for them anymore. When he does join in he huffs and puffs now like a person who has been smoking for years.
The frustrating thing is, he wont do anything to help himself. Goodness knows I have tried. He has days where he wants to and tries, but come thursday its all over, beer and drinking kicks in, as does footy and all that crap and its back to square one or worse. He is now moodier than ever before, and I am bearing th brunt of his frustrations and lack of energy. If only he would help himself. He has no will power to food. I am trying to gently suggest that he has gastric byass but he refuses to consider surgery andopiton. he sees it as unneccesary, but nothing else is working.
I dont want to lose the love of my life and the father to my children because of obesity. I am so scared he is going to miss out on so much because of his weight. Im scared I will fall out of love with him becaus of the impact its having on our relationship. I love my man. I really do, but I hate obesity and what it has made him become. When I cuddle him now, I cant even wrap my arms around him anymore. I miss that so much. I miss feeling his muscles. I miss spontaneous sex. I miss not having to sneak on the lounge so i can sleep. I miss him not farting all the time.