Post # 1
Going undercover for this one because I feel like a spoiled brat!
I used to have a pretty spacious home but due to the location, I decided to sell it and move in with dh (then bf) into his 1100 sq ft townhome. Now it’s three years later and I am SO MISERABLE! I have spent so much money on organizational items and smaller furniture and yet we still feel like we’re crammed in. We have no backyard, which gives me guilt because of our dogs. All of our kitchen cupboards are crammed full. I have to step over things in the living room and the bedroom, and don’t even get me started on how little space we have in the master bathroom. I have to do a balancing act every morning to stop my makeup and hair stuff from falling. I’ve decorated the entire place and it looks really nice, it’s modern and clean and I’m proud of my decorating skills here, but I still hate it.
I declutter on a weekly basis desperately trying to make things feel better, but nothing seems to help. We don’t have a lot of windows and we’re situated in a way so that we don’t get a lot of natural light from the few windows we have. I put a stop to TTC because I can’t imagine trying to fit a baby and all their stuff into this place. Our view out of the front of our house is another townhouse, the view out of the back is another townhouse. If we open the blinds anyone walking by can see right inside, but if we leave them closed then it’s dark and I love natural light. I can pretty much see what people are eating if their blinds are open. I feel so trapped!
I want to move. I have to move. This tiny home is killing my sanity! Dh understands and is on board, but I feel terrible about basically saying we have to move because his place isn’t good enough for me. It’s almost all equity in the home so financially moving isn’t an issue, but I still feel bad. Dh just really hates moving and I feel like I’m making him go through it, but I feel like I’m going to snap if I have to live in that place any longer. And dh is so amazing, he added me to the title as soon as I moved in and will go along with anything to make it feel like my home too.
Phew! It felt really good to get that out!
Post # 2
undercoverbee1917: Seriously:Less feels, more moving
Stop worrying and make it happen!
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
“If we open the blinds anyone walking by can see right inside” – This is kind of an odd thing to complain about, that’s just how blinds work! 😛
Is it cramped because you have too much furniture? The furniture is too big? Our home started to feel lighter after unloading a couple useless pieces on Craigslist. Is that an option?
Post # 4
I’m sorry you feel this way. 🙁
Do you have a timeline of roughly when you might be able to move into something larger?
I feel similarly to you sometimes and although there are various reasons why we are not TTC right now (I’m balancing a full time job and full time grad school, financial stuff, etc.), space is DEFINITELY an issue. We also have 2 cats and a puppy that is full of energy and rapidly shrinking our home, lol (or so it seems). I’d love to imagine moving into a bigger home before having a child, but that puts the TTC off even further and I’m already kind of bummed about how long it’ll be.
Post # 5
If he’s on board, why the guilt? You aren’t alone in feeling cramped, no need to feel like a martyr. If he’s willing to invest the time, energy and effort into moving, that’s a good thing.
In the meantime, the window issue is an easy fix. Invest in some privacy film; it’s inexpensive, and can easily be removed. It lets in maximum sunlight, and lets you have privacy too.
Post # 6
I dislike townhouses because they are so tall and narrow and claustro-inducing…regardless..I hate to say it, but I have to wonder how skilled you are at decluttering if the two of you still can’t breathe in 1100 sqft, lol! Consider the fact that the average 4 person home used to be around 1200sqft.
We currently have 3 adults and 3 dogs in just under 900 and while it’s a smidge tight when we’re all home and all want to cook, we still have a good amount of space and some storage to spare. It isn’t very well organized so if I got off my lazy butt to do it, we might be able to fit one more person in here quite comfortably! Not that I’d actually want to…
I love lots of light too and we’re unfortunately facing directly north, in a condo, so we only have windows facing north. I have hung a lot of mirrors especially where light does come in and I can bounce it off the mirror and back into a darker part of the room. It helps a LOT. A surprising amount, actually.
For the lack of privacy I would get privacy film that doesn’t block the light, only the view. I find blinds that go from bottom to top very useful as well because we can block the view in, but we can still keep part open that shows the open sky. Whatever you can make light, bright, or white, I would do it. Most of our furniture is light coloured and our rugs are a bright cheerful yellow to bring the sunshine in to us. Many of the decorative items are also glossy or reflective to vbounce light around and give a more airy feel as well.
Say it with me, light bright white! 😛
Ooh, and do play around with the positioning of your blinds. Just having them angled a tiny bit one way or another can allow plenty of light to come in and can still block views from outside. Take a look from the outside at different times of the day. When it’s light out, you would have to put your face right up to our window to be able to see what’s inside. We leave them wide open until the sun comes down.
Post # 7
undercoverbee1917: That’s kind of how townhouses and densely populated areas work.
FI and I live in a 950 sq ft apartment and if we have kids, we plan to stay in our space. We have plenty of room because we aggressively declutter and everything in our apartment has to have two functions or it can’t stay. We even have two couches because we get more seating that way. Chairs are inefficient.
Purge more aggressively – you don’t need as much stuff as you think you do. I can fit all of my makeup and toiletries in 2 one quart ziplock bags and create 10 outfits from 6 basic pieces. Granted, I have a super boring wardrobe, but long hair don’t care.
Smaller furniture isn’t always the way to go, it’s about having things that do double duty – coffee table that also functions as storage. Couch that is also a guest bed. Hallway bench that is also storage. One sauce pot, stock pot and wok.
If you’re so unhappy, make a plan for moving to the suburbs or the country. If that’s just not feasible for some reason, take a vacation and then come back with fresh eyes.
Post # 8
undercoverbee1917: I understand that it can feel difficult to downsize when you’re used to having lots of space, but honestly, we’re in 694 square feet (1 br, 1 ba) and don’t feel terribly crowded… maybe you can do a little more decluttering to make things tolerable until you’re able to move? My rule is, if I haven’t used something in 3 years, it goes to Goodwill. And I never buy any household items unless I’m replacing something – not even a single towel or a bowl. I just hate owning lots of stuff so it works out (though I do have to battle my fiance over random old sheets or nasty plastic cups with Superbowl logos).
Also – in addition to privacy film, there are also window treatments (honeycomb for example) that will give you privacy while still letting in natural light, unlike traditional blinds. Not super cheap, but cheaper than moving!
Post # 9
undercoverbee1917: I could NEVER live in a town home, no matter how spacious. I need to have a house that is surround by land on all sides, even if it’s just a few feet. But I would prefer a home on at least 5 acres. So I totally feel you.
We just moved into a rental place that is T-I-N-Y. Like you, we always have crap everywhere because there is nowhere for it to go. It’s such a pain. But, we plan on moving out and buying a house within the next year or two, and I am SO looking forward to that!
Post # 10
I feel your pain. My husband and I are currently in a 2 bedroom 800 sq. Ft. Apartment, and I hate it. There is absolutely no way to rearrange the bedroom, and the living room can room for a couchand a small entertainment center and and not much else. We use the extra room as storage, since we have none. So the closet is stacked with boxes, and then one half of the room is stacked with boxes. We both cant wait to move! Being cramped and on top of one another just is not worth the stress, especially when moving is a completely possible option.
If you husband is okay with it, start house hunting! You definitely don’t sound spoiled or whiny, you sound like you need some space! Lol. As long as you arent in a rush, you can start house hunting and find a home that has everything you want!
Decluttering can definitely help, but there really is only so much you can purge before you barely have anything left, and while our home currently looks like we are minimalists, I hate not having room to decorate more or have enough seating to entertain company.
Post # 11
FI and I, our three guinea pigs, and our two birds are currently living out of his parents’ basement. It is maybe 80 sqft plus a crawlspace and bathroom. I feel like this is the definition of cramped lol. What we did was purge everything that I had even a doubt in my mind that we would never use. We also donated a bunch of stuff to friends, parents, thrift, etc. Keep all similar belongings in boxes/storage benches/ottomans. It is a temporary living situation for us until we get a house but for now this is what we’re doing and it works.
ETA: You don’t sound spoiled at all. I would be frustrated in your situation as well. Find a larger place asap! 🙂
Post # 12
Why do you feel bad moving? I would assume that he bought that place for him as a bachelor correct? So, as you get married and get pets and have kids, you grow and morph and need bigger and different housing. There’s nothing wrong with that!
My husband had a 600 sq ft condo when we met that we lived in together for a year or more before buying our house. I didn’t feel bad whatsoever that I felt it was too small, it simply WAS.
Post # 13
undercoverbee1917: Let it all out! Haha. Do you think that maybe your townhome is just poorly designed so that it doesn’t make use of the space? We currently have an 1100 sq ft 2 bedroom condo and we think it’s so spacious! But I’m used to living in Manhattan so yeah….
Maybe you could knock down a wall, do a little renovation to install some closets. The prior owners for our place did a good job on creating additional closets for the condo. Or what about getting a vanity, do you have room for one in your master bedroom? I do all my makeup there because the bathroom is small. Trying to come up with some ideas for you since we live in like the same amount of sq ft.
You could compromise and move to a bigger home with a yard once your first kid is like 4 or 5 yrs old. That’s what we plan on doing, I don’t think you can make a forever home out of your townhome.
Post # 14
undercoverbee1917: I say get a new home, keep the townhouse and rent it out. So at least you get to keep the place and it will pay byitself.
Post # 15
undercoverbee1917: You have too much stuff. 1100 sq ft is *plenty* of room for a baby and two adults! My husband and I lived comfotably for years in a 425 sq ft apartment (with two “home office” sections), and I never had to step around stuff…gross…except when we had visitors.
Moving can solve your view/garden problems, but it won’t solve the stuff problem. If you’re cluttered in 1100 sq feet, which is really very large for 2 people, you’ll be cluttered in a bigger home, too. Chuck that stuff out!