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I am a self admitted control freak. I remembered though that when my sister got married in 2006 she had this nutty conversation with me where she basically told me that if I didn't tell her about her shower that she would walk out and never speak to me again if it was a surprise. I knew I didn't want to be like that. I am sucking it up and to be honest I am getting excited. I think it's kind of fun. I was told the date and what I should wear. That was enough for me.
I'm like you in that I like to be prepared but I like surprises so I can't really win either way. I totally get it though, I have to make sure I'm ready for things, that things are completely planned, and that I know what to expect. But remember, surprises can be fun sometimes so just try to relax and enjoy other people taking control of things.
i hate surprise parties too and i really don't want any surprise showers or bachelorette parties. i guess i don't need to know every detail, but i don't want to walk into a room and BAM! happy bridal shower, sorry you're wearing an old tshirt and haven't showered yet today. both FI and my mom know my hatred for surprise parties and promised to prevent any from happening. i really think it's ok to let your friend know that you want at least some involvement.
@bunnylovesbear: I see nothing wrong with asking to help and give input, but keep in mind that she may say "no."
I don't like giving up control either.
@mwitter80: i'd be ok with it if they told me my shower was on x date and what the dress code is....it's the complete known that scares me. because i'm wearing an old tshirt with no makeup kind of a lot.
@mwitter80: That's all I wanted!! I wouldve been content with the date, but they wouldn't even tell me that! All is said and done, and I figured out the surprise, so I was dressed appropriately. But, their cover story was brunch at 11:30am at my friends house! Normally I would have shown up unshowered and in pjs!! And I would have been FURIOUS!
Anyways, any advice on how to nicely say that I want to be involved? I tried for the shower, and it didnt work. I need some help here.
you might be pleasantly surprised if you let your girls just do their job and plan a great party for you. is the surprise part the theme, or the activites or something? because obviously you know it's happening, so it wont be a 100% surprise party... i was kind of the same way, wanting to be part of the planning but honestly, it's not your place to be part of the planning for a party in your honor. this is a very special gift that your girls are giving you: a party that they have planned with only YOU in mind.... think about how great that is! i am an obsessive party planner and caught myself numerous times subconsciously trying to weed details out of them, or give them ideas, but I'm glad they didn't let me! What they planned was far beyond perfect, it was the best weekend of my life! (until the wedding weekend lol) and it was all because i knew everything my girls were doing was because they loved me and they did it because they knew i'd love it. you can't get any better than that!
p.s. however if they are not giving you ANY details, like the date or what you should wear, that's a little unfair... they should at least tell you that. all i knew was what weekend we were doing it, what city it was going to be in, and they told me what dress i had to wear lol
@Kemi82JP: That's exactly my point. With my shower, I was told NOTHING. I am super appreciative because they planned a fantastic day for me, but I would have been upset if I had shown up dressed in pjs for brunch at one of my best friend's houses! you know? sigggh. I guess a bachelorette party is different...I dont mind having the events be a surprise, I just want to be prepared for a night out.
@bunnylovesbear: Show them this post and what we all said :)
@bunnylovesbear: yeah, they should definitely give you some prepatory details. just call your MOH or whoever;s planning it and bluntly ask what you should wear. tell her you don't want to show up in anything inappropriate and ask if she can please give you only the details you need to know. but also, since its a bachelorette party they'll probably have something for you to wear... but like i said, just ask for what you NEED to know. have fun at your party!!! it was seriously the best weekend ever, i LOVED it!!!
Thanks ladies. I just emailed her back explaining I dont need the details about what we are doing, but I would like to know when and how to dress.
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Sooo....I need some advice. I know I'm going to come off as a super brat, but I do not like surprises. I'm a planner, and I like to be prepared for everything. My bridesmaids planned me a super fantastic bridal shower, which they tried to keep a surprise (despite my pleading for otherwise). Anyways...I figured it out. Now today I got an email from my MOH asking for a guest list for my SURPRISE bachelorette party. I want to tell her I want to be involved in the planning!! Is that so wrong? ugh!