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I always imagined something very romantic with a lot of thought and set up going into it. It was very simple - he just got down on one knee and asked. No special occasion, just did it after dinner one night. I feel a little disappointed. And when people ask me "how did he do it", I feel like I have to start the story with a waiver saying "it wasn't a big deal or anything...", but I wanted it to be a big deal! Anyone else have this issue? I LOVE him with all my heart and can't wait to marry him, but I can't shake this disappointing feeling that I will have this lackluster story to tell the rest of my life :/
don't fret. Nobody will ask you how he proposed in a few more months. I have been engaged for almost a year and I really can't remember the last time anyone asked about it.
We were at a restaurant on our anniversary, and he was so nervous that he wrote the proposal in my card. It was cute, but nothing fancy! I'll remember that moment forever, but no one else in the restaurant even knew it happened.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Hopefully you'll be okay with it down the road. I wish I had better advice for you.
I think you should say something like "he did it at home when we were spending the evening together.. he wanted it to be in our home because its a very special place for us and our relationship".. no one needs any more detail than that. Don't let your disappointment in the proposal overshadow your joy about your marriage.
Haha, this might not be the answer you're looking for but you might just be a bad storyteller. An engagement doesn't have to be in some exotic place or some craziness for it to be romantic. But it's all how you tell it.
For starters, don't start off with your waiver! You're making people feel sorry for you when you have a great guy and have a terrific romance, so sell it. If Grey's Anatomy can make a post it note wedding look romantic you can make your engagement story romantic.
I think the story is very sweet. Maybe he wanted a private moment at home?
If you act disappointed, people will read it on your face. Spin it positively, that is all you can do. We should not expect our men to do things like they do in movies--expecting such things sets us up for disappointment in the future. Did the proposal reflect your relationship? Reflect him as a person? Surely it does...surely that is why he chose to propose to you THIS way, versus with something over the top.
The big deal is that he asked you to marry him. Not how he did it. Just that he did, and he meant it =]
Mine wasn't terribly fancy either. We had a yummy dinner, not in a romantic restaurant, our seat wasn't even nice, it was a really large U shaped booth, we were on one side, 2 older women were on the other (strange). After we ordered our dessert, he nonchalantly got down and did his thing. It wasn't what I'd imagined. I would of liked a lil more thought. I kept thinking of all the ways he could of done it, ways that would of even saved him money. But eventually I realized I was just happy it'd finally happened. Eventually, this feeling will pass for you too.
I think it should be special regardless of how he did it! I have the opposite problem lol I always wanted it to be just me and him alone having dinner or just lounging around the house and then out of nowhere he just pops the question, no big hoopla just sweet personal and romantic. Instead I got to go to Millenium Park in front of tons of people with friends of ours who tagged along to take pictures of the moment. Even though It wasn't what I expected or what I thought I wanted it was still amazing and romantic and I will remember it for the rest of my life plus I will be able to have those pictures forever!
Mine was the same way! I always envisioned having some crazy romantic story, but my FI just did it one night out of the blue. I was a little upset at first, but the more I think about it the more I realized how perfect it was. We were never a crazy romantic couple, so if he would have taken us to some fancy restaurant or the place we met I would have known what he was up to in a heartbeat. He said his goal was to surprise me, and he certainly did because I had no clue anything would be happening since it was a typical night for us.
Try to put a positive spin on your story when you tell others. I always start with "Well, let me start by saying I can read my FI like a book. So, his goal was to propose without out me knowing it was going to happen . ." Or something like that. And in the end it doesn't matter if others think it was a good proposal. Either way, the man of your dreams asked you to marry him. How could you not be happy no matter which way he did it!
I think your story is more than you think it is!!!! Mine didn't do anything. He literally handed me a ring box and looked at me funny.
Yours got down on his knew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!
My FI proposed to me in our house while I was in my Pjs. This was after he lost the key to our safe and I had to find it for him. I still love telling people
The same thing happened to me! It was at home after dinner one night...no big fuss or anything. He was complaining his legs hurt from the gym earlier and ended up kneeling in front of me. The ring was hidden in the couch! And while I read about all these beautiful, elaborate proposals, I am SO glad he did it low-key. I think it was a personal moment that we shared and wouldn't take it back for anything. It totally fit who we were and our relationship, and that is why it was so special to me! Because while I wanted and was extremely excited for the ring, at the end of the day, I really just wanted him.
Maybe he though giving you a simple proposal was what you wanted...and even if that isn't true, you get to marry this wonderful man who loves you! As Moose1209 said...keep your story simple...it is now your marriage that really matters!
It's definitely all in how you tell it. Though you may have been disappointed, you can certainly share your story in a way that better communicates how you feel about HIM and being engaged. "I thought it was just an ordinary night, and an ordinary dinner at home, but it changed everything..."
My FI made me a powerpoint. yep. he likes to call it a "slideshow"
And in class, one of the professors showed a cartoon of some guy proposing that way and EVERYONE thought it was hilarious.
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/were-you-disappointed-with-your-proposal-were-other-people
Many of the ladies on this thread describe their proposal as "low key." Maybe you just think that people have higher expectations of your story than they do? I think "How'd he do it?" is just in a way a small talk sorta question...just a normal reaction question that is. They aren't going to think any less of your relationship because of your proposal story. And I just think low key is more the norm than you might think. :)
I think your proposal story is sweet. It's what is right for you guys, not the rest of the people in the world! :-) And some of the other posters are right - it all depends on how you tell the story.
I asked 2 things of my husband (then boyfriend) - 1. he ask my dad's permission and 2. it be a surprise. So one day at work, he somehow got clearance through security and came up and proposed to me in my cube. Made all the girls cry (and me, of course)! I was a little embarassed to say "he proposed to me in my cube" but after a while I love that he did it that way. Everyday I walked to my cube I smiled. And I have to admit, not a lot of others have a story like that!!
I don't think that many women have hugely romantic stories about how they were proposed to. My boyfriend didn't get down on one knee....a bunch of our friends were hanging out around us and I had a few drinks in me. He just asked me if I would marry him sort of under his breath. I had to ask him to repeat cause I couldn't hear him and then he put the box in front of me.
Nothing overly romantic but still very special to us. The good news is that no matter how he asked.....he did ask and you're getting married and you'll be together forever. Congrats!
I think that story is actually very sweet! I would tell it with pride and say how nervous he was and how he made a normal evening into the most important night of your lives!!
The way I tell mine, we usually have people cracking up by the end. The fact of the matter is that it was in my office over pizza and beer on a Saturday night without a ring. It could be the worst proposal story ever, but the way we tell it together, it's just perfect!
Thanks for all the sweet responses. I know that it won't reflect anything about our marriage, but I just expected a little more. And it didn't help that I kinda knew it was coming too. Glad to know I'm not alone. And after reading what all you guys said, it probably was better that it was private since we are pretty private people anyways. Thanks for all the kind words and responses. I can't wait to get married!!
Thanks for all the sweet responses. I know that it won't reflect anything about our marriage, but I just expected a little more. And it didn't help that I kinda knew it was coming too. Glad to know I'm not alone. And after reading what all you guys said, it probably was better that it was private since we are pretty private people anyways. Thanks for all the kind words and responses. I can't wait to get married!!
My friend's hubby did it during... "the act" as it were. She said it was very sweet and romantic, but 1) do you stop and get down on one knee? and 2) how do you tell people?!
I think simple is perfect! My FI proposed to me while i had a kindey, blatter, urinary tract infection! I was sick, laying on the couch! I think these simple sweet nothing extravagent proposals are just as awesome as the ones with tons of effort. Plus, it was probaly way more of a surprise, where as if he took you to dinner and the spot of your first date, you would probably have an idea it was coming.
I agree that it's all in how it's told. My proposal was out of the blue as we were getting up to go get dinner with friends. So, when I tell the story I focus more on the journey leading up to it, the meaning of the ring he chose, and how he had his sister (my best friend) distract me while he went to ask my dad.
@shellyjean - I totally hear you. Not only was my hubby's proposal fairly low-key, but I also felt embarassed telling people about it! We had gone away for a romantic weekend for our five-year anniversary, but hubs didn't propose over dinner or when we were out and about. He proposed when we were sharing some steamy time in the hot tub!!! Talk about awkward to tell people about it! Luckily people stop asking after the first couple months. :P But whenever someone asked, I'd turn bright red and be like "uhhh... he proposed while we were in Boston for our anniversary..." lol
Yep, totally hear you. But just remember, whether it was really low key or an all out super proposal, the end is the same - you get him :)
Sometimes I wish my FI had done something more extravagent when he proposed, but he isn't like that. Our proposal was so us. I'm happy for that.
For what its worth, my story is super romantic/big-deal-ish and I STILL hate telling the story. It just feels too private. Also.. I almost feel like I'm making it up because its too good or something. Like people will think I"m lying? I dunno. The question just makes me uncomfortable. Now that I'm 6 mo out I generally just answer "he did it on vacation in Mexico" and leave it at that unless they really press. :)
So my point is that I"m really not sure you'd even want to tell the story no matter what it is. Sometimes stuff that special/personal really shouldn't be shared too much (I don't think)
I think it is a sweet story. He got down on one knee and you said yes to the man of your dreams. I think TV puts too much pressure on what the "perfect" proposal should be.
Well I would have loved something like that. My husband proposed to me in a text message. He was in the military and instead of waiting for me to get there in a month he decided to text me and ask. Not what I really wanted either but when we went to the jewelry store to get my ring he gave me my ring in front of the whole mall. I don't know, I am over it, Love my man and that is all that matters. Good luck, you will look back and realize it was the right thing. It was the way it was supposed to happen.
I felt that way too. He got down and proposed after we got back from my brother's wedding to his house. I was definitely surprised, not romantic to me but oh well, I love my honey bun!
Mr Veggie literally said "So... do you think we should get married?". Haha! Oh well...
I couldn't agree more with Jacqui. My fiance concocted a fantabulous proposal weekend in my hometown of Philly. His creativity was amazing, but I have since learned that it only matters to the two of us.
After the initial few weeks ... I haven't told the story since!
@CorgiTales .. agreed. I omit MANY details because they were super sweet and very personal.
@CremeBrulee ... HAHAHAHA! that freaking rocks. Love the slideshow!
I totally understand what you are talking about. I think, however, that you need to focus on what is true - the person that you love, that you want to spend your life with, has asked you to marry him. And you said yes.
That's the best story ever. No fancy proposal needed to show that this is about making a commitment to each other.
My husband proposed to me in Feb...a cold Feb at that! We were out to dinner on our 1 Year of dating Anniversary. After dinner, we went driving around the city.....Only to stop at.....The.....War....Memorial.......? I had no idea!! It was a nice shock! It wasn't too fancy, but that is what keeps me from FORGETTING it! The proposal can be different for everyone, don't dwell on it too much. Enjoy the ride until your wedding...(and beyond like myself!)
How can a proposal be unromantic? He is PROPOSING, the symbolism of the act itself is romantic. Not everyone thinks it should be a big a show in my opinion. And it's all in how you tell the story anyway. If you preface it with, "It wasn't a big deal..." then people are of course going to think that
i can understand where you are coming from, if you were expecting something big and over the top, and it was less than you were expecting...
our proposal was very special for the both of us, and even though we were outside, it was still extremely intimate ( i THINK a runner might have seen it go down, it was sooo early in the morning! :) )
i say you should focus on something about the moment that makes you smile...for me, i will never forget the GORGEOUS (read: heart melting) smile my FI flashed me right before he took a step back and got down on one knee...I will always remember that smile and it makes me warm inside thinking about it!!
I think you've been watching too many movies, lol. I find that most men are so nervous to do it that they just want it to be over with. My husband proposed to me on my birthday while I was half dressed, putting on makeup getting ready to go out for dinner. He threw the box at me and ran into the kitchen (I later found out it was because he thought he was going to throw up he was so nervous) I opened the box and he peered around the corner and just said "i hope you know this means I want you to marry me". That was it. It shouldnt matter how he proposed, just the fact that he did should be enough. I still look back on our proposal and smile because its my story and on one elses.
I actually expected my fiance to make a big proposal or at least do it something unique. But I knew he had the ring (or was going to get it) because we had looked at rings together. So when we were in my apartment one afternoon, I was joking around about whether or not he had picked it up from the jewelers, and whether or not he had it. That part was a total surprise - he wouldn't tell me if he had picked it up yet, so I was sort of just guessing based on timing. He just looked at me and said, "Would you really want me to do it right now?" I of course said no. Then we finished getting ready to go out and at one point, I turned around and he was on his knee with the ring. He said the most important thing to him was the element of surprise, since it would be very easy for me to suspect something. We were home, alone, just the two of us and able to just be giddy and silly without having people stare. To me, it was the best proposal because it was so simple and completely out of the blue because it's not something I thought he would have done.
But yeah, after the first week, no one asks anymore. I just said "Oh it was very sweet and simple at home, just the two of us. It was great."
My ex was always doing crazy things, over-the-top and dramatic. there were always presents for each holiday, and a lot of scavenger hunts and love notes all the time. Now, while some might think that was great, it also began to feel a bit contrived. Do we REALLY need to go berserk about St. Patty's Day? Can Easter just be a day we go to church and eat peeps? Do we need a month-long countdown to birthdays, anniversaries, and christmas?? NO. When we broke up, i felt like i would never find a guy who would do all those things (which i now missed). But when my FH and i got together, i found that i was more happy with the everyday calm. The sweet simple moments that weren't covered in confetti and balloons. So when he proposed one morning, after a nice walk on the beach, without a lot of pomp and circumstance, i said yes yes yes without one second of remorse for the missed hot-air balloon or sky-writing that the ex will surely do when he proposes. None of that for me, thank you. Just give me a quiet day and the man i love.
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