(Closed) I hate this negative stereotype….

posted 5 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yep, I’ve heard that a few times. Or that they just married to get more money! 

Post # 4
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Im not military, and I have no personal stake in this, but I totally agree. It’s nasty and unhelpful.

Post # 5
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ve never had anyone tell me that, but they’re obviously wrong. I’m sorry you hear those things!

Post # 6
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What?! People actually say that to you!??! Color me shocked.

Geez, with all the other crap miltary folks and their families have to put up with, you’d think people could be a little more sensitive.

Post # 7
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve had people tell me that when I first started dating FI. He wasn’t active anymore though when we started dating, being that he already served a long period of time. Sometimes I’m surprised at the things people can say

Post # 8
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’ve heard this way too many times as well.  It is annoying & rude.  This generalization is one that makes me rage out more than any of the others (like those who say military families only get married for the benefits…cringe). >:(

Post # 9
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have heard that kind of stuff, too. People are always going to have something to say.

Post # 10
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes, it is a horrible assumption people make. On the other hand, being in the navy for 9 years, there is some truth to the saying “what happens on ship, stays on ship”. People get lonely and do things they normally would not because the culture accepts it, and the booze is always flowing. 

My FI and I met in the Navy, but i didn’t want to date him while he was still in because i was worried about what would happen when he was away on ship. Our relationship blossumed only after he released. I am still in and have to be very careful because i have been in situations where things could have happened, and if i wasn’t in my right mind it would have been easy for something to happen. 

Post # 11
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If someone said this to me this is how I see it palyed out…

Me:  “So you’re with him 24/7 and know his sexual habits”?

Them: “No, I’m not but I know a lot of military guys cheat”

Me: “You may be speaking from personal experience and you’re still bitter and I’m sorry for that but there are guys from all walks of life that cheat. Im not so narrow minded and judgemental to protrude my personal opinion onto someone like that”.

 

I HATE when people generalize people and think they owe someone their opinion.

 

Post # 12
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yep, I’ve had people say that to me as well.  It’s nothing but them projecting their lack of morals on everyone else.

 

Post # 13
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I heard this ALL the time before we got married! And even now when someone asks what my husband does and I say he is in the navy, people often feel sympathy for me…even though I DO NOT need it! Unfortunately, however, the reason people feel this way is because it does happen…my husband tells me stories all the time about the things he sees when he is on trips, etc. It is heartbreaking to hear these stories…I am just thankful that I have a husband whom I trust completely! This is not to say that the sterotype is legitimate or these comments should be made. It is just that the small number of individuals who do cheat etc. overshadow the good men and women who have morals. Is it fair, no…but, it’s something to take like a grain of salt…

Post # 14
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I can’t believe people would say this!  It’s just incredibly rude!!

Post # 15
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I am married to a Navy officer, and I have personally seen my fair share of divorces among cilivians and military personnel. It seems that female soldiers, sailors, etc. have higher divorce rates, but that could be my flawed perception. Based on my observations, divorce rates in all branches of the military are somewhat higher, but the causes undoubtedly are variied and not all marriages fail because of adultery. Stress, loneliness, inability to cope with frequent moves, etc. probably play significant parts.

Some interesting numbers from the field of family law: http://familylaw.typepad.com/stats/divorce_rates_military/

 

Post # 16
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with all the post my fiancee is coming home for good 9/12 and we are getting married 9/13. The negative views and comments prevented me from telling my family anything about him. Only family members that can be supportive were told because I dont feel the need to explain our relationship or how we feel about each other. Unless you are in a military relationship they have no clue what they are talking about so why do people feel the need to give there opinion? I rather them see with their own eyes and then they will have nothing to say. Dont get me wrong it has been hard planning a wedding and there is only three people beside the wedding planner I discuss the arrangement with.

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