- 7 years ago
Okay, from the beginning of our engagement, FI and I have planned to pay for our own wedding. We’re the ones who decided to get married. We should be responsible for paying. Well, last week, FMIL and I were looking at the website for the resort we’re going to vacation at this summer. I saw a picture of the wedding venue there and I made a comment about how gorgeous it was. FMIL suggested FI and I get married there, next year. She said it would be great to get to go on a beach trip for our wedding. I told her that it would be too much money for FI and I to handle. She told me to e-mail the event director and get quotes.
I e-mailed the event director and she promptly sent back some quotes for the ceremony and reception venues and catering. I told FMIL how much the things were and that we simply couldn’t afford it. She said, “Well, me and FFIL are going to pay half of it.” When she said that, I have to say, I was so relieved and happy. With them paying half, I’d be able to afford a nicer venue and catered food. I was thrilled all week.
I still felt like the resort was charging too much, though, so I looked around for other venues in the area where I’ve decided I want to get married. I found one that is by far cheaper, but still just as nice. Today, I told FMIL about my findings and she just said, “Oh, that’s great!” Then, I told her that I plan on paying off the venue by October. She didn’t mention anything about helping. I went on to tell her that the food doesn’t have to be paid for until the end of the reception. FMIL said, “Oh, that’s good, that way you have time to save up!”
That comment just left me all confused and now wondering if I should even reserve the venue I found. I can afford to pay for the venue and ceremony. But, I cannot afford to pay for all of those plated meals! FMIL is the one who suggested plated, fancy, catered meals in the first place! She TOLD me she and FFIL would pay half of our wedding expenses. I did not ask her to do so. I did not even expect her to.
I feel so let down right now because all week I’ve been creating all new wedding plans based on the fact that we’d have FFIL and FMIL’s help with paying for it all. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t gone crazy and overboard. My entire wedding is going to cost about $3500 total. So, don’t jump the gun in thinking that I am ordering horse and carriages, caviar, and a Vera Wang gown. But, before FMIL’s offer of help, I had intended on marrying in a local park, and having cookout foods prepared by family members.
I have a very hard time confronting FMIL and just asking if she still intends to contribute half of the wedding budget. I don’t want to feel like I’m hassling her, whatsoever. I know this isn’t her deal. So, I guess I’ll just have to see how things go. I will probably go ahead and reserve the venue and try my best to save up enough for the catering by next summer. If anything, I’ll just end up inviting less guests so I can afford it.