I hate to write this…

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
519 posts
Busy bee

@SadBeeToday:  Did he rape her?

Edit: It’s hard to give advice when I don’t understand what exactly occured.

Member
2932 posts
Sugar bee

@SadBeeToday:  I think we need a little more information to give you advice you could actually use. I really hope it’s not what Bulbasaur thinks it is :(

Member
10686 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It’s so hard to help without knowing what you are talking iabout, though sadly I think I have an idea.

If you don’t know what to say (and sometimes there is nothing to say) just be there for her.  Give her a hug, let her cry without her having to say anything. 

Member
519 posts
Busy bee

@FauxBoho:  I’m hoping not either, but it’s the first thing I could think of.  If not physically assaulting her, then maybe cheating or ending the relationship?

Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh dear. I’m so sorry to hear that.

The best thing you can do is be there for her. Support her. Be her shoulder to cry on.

Member
988 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry this happened, it’s very tough to watch people you love get hurt. I think the best thing you can do for your friend is to be there for her. People have a lot of different reactions to grief/pain, so make sure you don’t judge her even if you think her reaction is strange. Reach out to her with a text or email and let her know exactly what you said in your post, that you love her, you’re thinking of her, and you’ll be there for her however she needs. After a few days if she doesn’t respond, try calling or stopping by to check on her.

Member
7164 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just go over and hug her. I’d probably send her flowers with a note saying you love her and are there for her.  I’d also probably bring her lunch, make sure she’s eating, etc.

Member
3573 posts
Sugar bee

Hug her, go to her, tell her you’re so sorry… just be there.  Don’t hold back out of fear for saying the wrong thing.  Cook for her, clean her apartment… just sit with her.  Just tell her, “I’m here. Whatever you need.”

Member
752 posts
Busy bee

@SadBeeToday:  That is horrible. I honestly don’t think there is anything you can do. She is probably numb and in shock, she may not want to talk about it. The best thing you can do is hug her and tell her how sorry you are and you’re there for her if she needs anything. I would also check in often, just so she knows you really do care and you’re serious about her asking for help.

Member
673 posts
Busy bee

@SadBeeToday:  Wow…I am at a loss for words. What an awful thing to have to endure. Be there for her in anyway that you can. I am sooo sorry to hear this. I can’t even imagine the pain she must be feeling right now.

Member
8750 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry to hear that!  There’s no best answer, as everyone deals with things differently.  I would contact her somehow letter her know you’re there for whatever she needs, including getting out for something fun if she needs a distraction, but if she needs space you can give her that too.

Call her, email her, drop a note off in her mailbox, whatever you think would be best for her.

Member
335 posts
Helper bee

That’s really rough. Just be there. So sorry for your friend. 

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