Weddingbee boards

My fiancee is in the Army, so we're not doing things the traditional way at all. I didn't get a traditional proposal, and a lot of the people attending my wedding I haven't met. He's deployed, so it's pretty much up to Me, our moms, and my best friend to plan the wedding without him. Over the summer we took a break for about a month (right after he came home for R&R which ended in us both doing stupid things that hurt each other and we both regret) but we're back together and things have never been better.

He has a group of friends that he's been friends with quite a while, two of them are girls. We had a rough start because they don't know how to take my personality or my sense of humor. They basically hated me when we took our break and honestly, they created high school drama that I don't care about. Once Seth and I got back together, one of the girls (the one that was most hateful to me, too) messaged me on Facebook and apologized for what she had said. I forgave her because she is Seth's friend. She basically just came out and asked if her and the other girl friend could be a bridesmaid. So I told her I'd talk it over with Seth, and when I did he was so happy about it that I felt like I couldn't even tell him I wasn't thrilled about it.

Like I said, we're not doing anything traditionally. I haven't met these girls in person and I've only interacted with them through Facebook and texting. But Seth loves them to death.. A few days later I talked to his Mom about it and told her that I wasn't really excited for them to be in the wedding because the only thing I knew about them is that they had a crappy opinion of me before. And she said I hope it's not so-and-so so-and-so (the girls first and last name..haha) which it was..and she told me everything she knew about them. The so-and-so girl seems like a really awful person from what she told me.. and that this girl is really two-faced behind Seth's back.

She also told me that Seth has had a crush on her and went out of his way to do nice things for her when we took a break even though they've never been anything but friends. I talked to him about and and he admitted that he "was" attracted to her. But they're just friends. She honestly is really gorgeous, but the things I've heard about her make her sound like an awful person. And the fact that my fiancee has ever been attracted to one of my bridesmaids makes me freak out inside a little. Now I feel like I'm trapped. I talked to Seth about it and he said that it was my decision but I definitely don't want to go back on my word, especially now that we're all getting along.

When I see things that so-and-so posts on Facebook, or even think about her being in our wedding it makes me a little upset. I want to feel like his eyes are on me, not her.. And it's not that I don't trust him, or that we even have an unhealthy relationship because we don't whatsoever. I love him and he loves me, and I know that.. But I can't control my jealousy for whatever reason.

My best friend is my MOH and I obviously have talked to her about it and it's even hard for her to be nice to this girl. She seems like she's a little stuck on herself, and from what his mom told me she is "hot and she knows it." My emotions are a little crazy from the stress and pressure that I've been under because of the wedding, and because Seth is deployed. Am I overreacting? Am I being immature and too insecure about all of this? Should I just tolerate her enough to get through the wedding? Should I tell them that I changed my mind? Help! Please? ..

@lia22: I don't feel like he ever had feelings for her, because he kind of looks at her like a sister. But while he was home for his two weeks of R&R we broke up, and he kind of just .. got drunk the entire time and did a lot of things that I had to forgive him for. Our break was a little over a month. Like I said, I don't feel like there is anything going on between the two of them because I'd definitely pick up on it, but I just don't like what I know about her, and I don't like how she's so....uppity.. I don't know.. I don't like her and her little..snotty self. 

I don't want to be nice to these girls anymore, and neither does my MOH. 

@lia22: and she lives in Virginia and I live in Indiana..He's in the military like I said so he has friends and family in like 10 different states lol

@lia22: I feel like those two girls only started being nice to me so they could be in our wedding. Before me, Seth was notorious for relationship hopping. I came along, and I changed that.. but they just doubted it in the beginning. Then when we took our break, it was nothing but drama. I thought we were honestly going to be done for good. He got home for his R&R at the very end of July into the beginning of August.. so about three months or so is when we took our break? 

I went to NC (where he flew in from Afghanistan) and we broke up like two days after he got there and I came home to Indiana. I got in a wreck, and I was really hurt by the things that Seth was doing and I felt like he wasn't acting like the same person that I fell in love with, so I was dramatic. I was hurt, and I let him know that I was. When I got in the car accident (literally the day I got back from NC) it was pretty bad and I ended up spending the night in the hospital, both of our cars were totaled and it was awful. I saw comments on a picture on one of those girls' facebooks about all that where they were basically mocking me and making it out like I was being overdramatic about my carwreck to make him feel sorry for me or come back or something, when I wasn't. I had to wear a freaking neckbrace, and broke a bone in my big toe. And one of the girls also made a comment about how upset she was that our "Facebook engagement" didn't work out.. because like I said.. we haven't had a traditional relationship.. he basically told me he wanted to marry me, I agreed, and we started planning. We were going to get married when he was home for his R&R, and then have the wedding in May (like we still are) but that obviously didn't happen because I decided we needed a break. Before we took our break the other girl (not so-and-so) made fun of me for posting a screenshot of my phone & ovulation calculator on his wall and telling him to "hurry home" because the flowered days were days I was ovulating.. Because we wanted to try and get pregnant when he was home for his R&R.

@lia22: These girls have caused nothing but petty drama for me, if you can't tell. They're like 20-22 and act very childish. 

@PurpleUnicorn: We each are supposed to have five on each side, and I believe he has already asked them. They aren't participating in bridesmaid activities, and if they keep that up I'm going to use that as an excuse.

I would have to go back on my word in this situation.  I personally would not be comfortable with him being friends with them.  And if he chose them over me, then I would know that's not the kind of man I would want to be married to in the first place.  My husband had some friends who were girls when we were together and some he had previously been attracted to.  I nipped that in the butt first thing, because i knew i didn't ever want a divorce, and I knew that it would cause us to argue and for me to feel anxious all the time.  I expressed to him how I felt and that I felt it was innappropriate for him to be friends with females whom he either previously had a relationship with or was attracted to, because it could cause potential problems in the future.  Once we were married, one of them wouldn't leaveh im alone so I confronted her online and she didn't like it, but I told my husband, he needed to choose.  Either he would choose his wife who should be most important or he chose her because I was not going to go the rest of my life like that.  Ultimately he chose me. So you have to be strong and stand up for yourself and do what is right for you, but not only is it right for you, it's what's right for your marriage.  Marriages with people like that involved in them, have a hard time getting off the ground or staying strong.  Better to nip it in the butt before it becomes a BIG problem in the future.